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camhs unsure want to go again

(21 Posts)
Waitingforsleep Thu 22-Sep-16 12:53:21

Long story but came away from first app for intervention and feel down.
I hadn't met the therapist before and wanted a quick 5 mins chat and show her some video footage away from Dd. She said no and that she didn't want to do anything behind dd's back and lie to her?
Feel crap to be honest and I sure I want to carry on

zzzzz Thu 22-Sep-16 14:14:27

I decided it wasn't really going to fit in with my parenting so we just left he door ajar (took a phone number) and have moved on.

Do what feels right.

OneInEight Thu 22-Sep-16 14:42:35

I guess different practitioners have different approaches. For comparison at the moment we are having all CAMHS appointments in ds2's absence because he is unable to engage because of anxiety so they feel it more productive to work with us rather than him.

Waitingforsleep Thu 22-Sep-16 14:54:43

Just unsure what to do though as next time and all the following times they want to do the therapy without me in the room.
I'm worried Dd will get led by them and that maybe we parenting will be blamed again.
I just don't trust the process I suppose but equally we ha e nothing else on offer so don't want to turn it down if it helps her?

Hockeydude Thu 22-Sep-16 14:57:30

How old is dd?

IHaveBrilloHair Thu 22-Sep-16 14:57:33

They wouldn't talk to me first either and then blatantly lied

zzzzz Thu 22-Sep-16 15:39:34

shock

zzzzz Thu 22-Sep-16 15:39:55

What does dd want?

Waitingforsleep Thu 22-Sep-16 15:51:55

She is 8
Dd is happy whatever but I don't want to be led by Dd
Just have a terrible feeling I can't shake

zzzzz Thu 22-Sep-16 15:53:41

Well then say no thank you, the set up doesn't suit your family.

Waitingforsleep Thu 22-Sep-16 16:03:34

Do you think I can do?
She said about it being confidential between her and Dd
But what help will I get of I turn down?

zzzzz Thu 22-Sep-16 16:55:19

hmm my children don't see any medical practitioners alone.

Waitingforsleep Thu 22-Sep-16 17:46:28

Really? Is this not right then?
I'm so confused! My husband said it may be that it's standard procedure as its for anxiety and what if we abused or hit her then she wouldn't talk about it in front of me?
Really torn!

Waitingforsleep Thu 22-Sep-16 17:46:48

It's art therapy if that helps

zzzzz Thu 22-Sep-16 17:48:12

I have no idea what is the norm as I would never consent to it. I'm the Mum so I choose till they can themselves.

Waitingforsleep Thu 22-Sep-16 18:09:53

Has anyone else had experience of their child on their own?
I'm really unsure what to do.
I haven't got anything to hide however want to know what's going on with my child too.

pannetone Thu 22-Sep-16 20:27:07

My DD did art therapy arranged by her school during the school day for about a term - she was about 8 then. I did get to talk to the therapist without DD there before the sessions started - which were just DD and the therapist. My DD has selective mutism and she never spoke more than a few words to the therapist, but I don't know if she was revealing huge amounts through the creative stuff they did.

I didn't get a 'report' after the sessions finished and the therapist didn't pass on information to the school or other professionals involved with DD - the therapy was really an opportunity for DD to have some 'relaxed' time in school I suppose in the hope it would help with her anxiety generally, but although DD enjoyed the sessions there wasn't any 'spill over' effect.

I can see your dilemma about not wanting DD to be 'led' by the therapist, but equally not wanting the therapist to read something sinister into your decision not to let DD have the therapy and be on her own with the therapist. Remember if you decide to give the therapy a go, CAMHS can't make you continue with it if you decide it's not right for your family and situation.

Waitingforsleep Thu 22-Sep-16 20:36:30

It's funny as thinking about it Dd had a school counsellor that she saw once a week and I never felt bothered about it at all.
I think it was the way the therapist was with me today that has got me upset.
I previously had a bad experience with camhs where I mentioned I had slight pnd then before I knew it felt they were putting it all on that!
I wonder if I should be allowed to view from another room
Dh says its child protection just Incase Dd were to say anything bad that we would punish her for and to remember this does happen to some children so they just do it for all. But I don't want to feel suspected and I want to be included I want an update on what has happened etc I don't want to be left In the dark as to what they are discussing etc. This makes me look like a controlling mother though but I know the issue is not me!
I have felt bad all day over this as we waited a year for it but after today feel really let down.

SealSong Thu 22-Sep-16 20:36:32

I'm a CAMHS practitioner, hopefully I can allay some of your worries.
The therapist won't try to 'lead' your daughter (why would they want to do that?? confused). It may be more about wanting your DD to feel free to express herself.
But you know you can ring the therapist and all over your concerns with them? I'm sure they'd talk it over with you.
It seems daft to just not go again. This is a source of help for your DD....she must be struggling a lot to have a referral open to CAMHS so do make use of help for her.
I can understand the therapists reluctance to have information / material shared with her that DD is not aware of.....this makes the dynamics of therapy very difficult.
Talk to the therapist.

SealSong Thu 22-Sep-16 20:38:17

Should say 'discuss your concerns' not ' all over your concerns'

Waitingforsleep Thu 22-Sep-16 21:00:32

Thanks, but that was just it the therapist doesn't want to talk to me which made me feel a bit upset.
I suppose the being led bit comes from my fear of being blamed for Dd behaviour which as I say has happened before.
Dd is very different at home and in public so I have had to video and show people to get anywhere it's been quite a battle to get people to believe me so again fear that Dd won't show what the problems are.
Even here on mumsnet people haven't understood how Dd can present so I find it easier to show people. The therapist said Dd may show this but I would bet my life she won't as I know her so well.

And just general not understanding her so mis interpreting her - example last camhs she had a complete meltdown crying etc clinging to me and they interpreted it in a completely different way to what was actually going on! I knew it was because the play therapist who she regularly had each week had been replaced by a new one and she didn't like the change. They couldn't see this. Classic Dd, doesn't like change and expects things to be the same as they always are...

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