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What do I do?!

(20 Posts)

I got a phone call from my SN son's school about an incident that happened during his lesson this afternoon. I've been thinking of what I should say to them as I have also received an email. My son stripped off and refused to put his clothes back on. This isn't the first time this has happened but it hasn't happened at school since he was 10/11.. he is now 15. The school are always ringing me to come and pick him up especially in the past 2 weeks since he's been back at school. I was still at work and I had to leave to pick my son up as the school 'couldn't deal with him'.
Surely a mainstream school wouldn't just phone the parents as soon as they had a problem. I'm also confused to why he does this, it seems to happen at home once every few weeks and I just don't understand it. Was the school being unreasonable or am I being unreasonable to expect them to deal with it?
Does anyone have any similar experience with their child stripping of for unknown reasons, if so how do you deal with the suituation.
Thanks MN.

PolterGoose Wed 21-Sep-16 07:21:46

If they're asking you to collect him it's an exclusion and if they are not providing exclusion paperwork it is an illegal exclusion. It sounds like you need to request an urgent statement/EHCP review as the school appear unable to meet needs.

flowers

They litterally just make me sign him out of the office and I wouldn't say it's an exclusion?!
The behaviour isn't acceptable but it's a special Ed school not a mainstream school..
I may ask the school for a statement but I'm honestly lost on what to do. I can't keep leaving work early to collect him sadflowers

PolterGoose Wed 21-Sep-16 16:42:44

Are you in England? Just want to check as a statement/EHCP is a legal document. And obviously legal rights aren't the same everywhere.

BackwardElephants Wed 21-Sep-16 16:43:10

May ask school for a statement? Do you not already have an EHCP/statement if he is in a ss?

Also, it is an exclusion, and an illegal one at that.

BackwardElephants Wed 21-Sep-16 16:43:50

Sorry pressed post too soon. Do they say what leads up to the behaviour? Are they keeping a log of triggers?

At home it's usually because he's having a meltdown and likes to strip and throw things unfortantly. We are located in London yes. Seems unusual for a disabled child to be excluded over a meltdown which was minor and he didn't lay a finger on any of his teachers and by the time I collected him he was calm and dressed but they insisted I removed him from the classroom. We have always had a statement as he's been in a SN school since Y1.
We don't have a EHCP which is a legal document. Do I need to have words with the school or report the school if this happens again?

zzzzz Wed 21-Sep-16 20:49:32

Both of them are legal documents. Were you at his annual review?

PolterGoose Wed 21-Sep-16 20:53:42

Ok, so you're in England. It sounds like you need to take a crash course in SEN law as your ds is being failed. These sound like illegal exclusions. You need to request an emergency annual review I think. Call SOSSEN or IPSEA for advice.

youarenotkiddingme Wed 21-Sep-16 21:49:51

Agree with above - if there's no paperwork they are illegal exclusions.

Sn school or not children can be excluded for a variety of reasons - and a naked 15 year old it could be under safeguarding - of other pupils or staff.

You are quite within your rights to ask to redacted copies of behaviour reports.

I'd suggest to them they find a safe space he can be redirected to - maybe a room with blinds/curtains/no windows. Then if he strips the door can be closed. Also ask what they are doing with regards monitoring and recording behaviours and getting outside services in to support (sensory OT may be appropriate here)

user1473454752 Wed 21-Sep-16 21:52:41

Unfortunately this cannot be good for your son or his classmates, so I can see why a mainstream school would do this, can you imagine the bullying he would get? I personally think you need an Ehcp and have a look at specail schools as they are more equipped to deal with this sort of stuff xxx

Blueemeraldagain Wed 21-Sep-16 21:55:38

I'm a teacher in a SN school and back when I used to TA we had a teenage (female) student with PMLD who used to strip off. Staff in her class had a well rehearsed routine of holding large blankets or parachutes around her until she was ready to get dressed again and then they would carry on (the student wasn't in my class but all classrooms backed onto the playground). I don't recall her ever being sent home.

PolterGoose Wed 21-Sep-16 21:56:23

user he's in a special school. And if he was in a mainstream school they'd have to deal with it too, not just exclude.

user1473454752 Wed 21-Sep-16 22:25:44

Sorry Poulter I read this, "Surely a mainstream school wouldn't just phone the parents as soon as they had a problem."

So thats why I assumed it was mainstream, please accept my apologies.

Mainstream would deal with it however it would not be pleasant for the child or his classmates which is totally wrong I know.

I don't think they have much experience with students showing this type of behaviour and at home it's a lot easier to deal with as there's no safeguarding involved ect. He's not meaning to cause any threat to staff or other children in the class but I do understand your point of having a 15yr old naked in the classroom a real issue. I wish he didn't do it but it's just something he does. They do have a calm room but my DS seems to think it's a 'naughty room' I think I will email the school with my suggestion of removing him into a empty classroom or the 'calm' room.

I thought they'd be able to deal with it in a similar way to how you said they did with the teen girl without having to phone me to come an collect him. He's not been in mainstream school since he was 6 as he has down syndrome, autism, has a hearing impairment and developmental delays. I wish I could home school him but I to work and he is leaving school in July anyway. I may email the headteacher with my suggestions and try to find something online that shows it's illigal to send a child home without paperwork. Thanks for all the replies, does anyone know a website I could find some proof of how it's illigal on or an article?
Many Thanks.

No worries smile

user1473454752 Wed 21-Sep-16 22:48:40

Lifeisshort123, sorry dear but if he is in a specailist school then they should be able to deal with this stuff without phoning you up, I know how hard it is when your working and having to deal with these stresses only last week I was at a new place and 3 hours late because my son was kicking off, it makes me want to pack work in because its hard enough as it is without having the added stress!!

PolterGoose Thu 22-Sep-16 07:04:57

Look at the SOSSEN and IPSEA websites.

Will do. Thank you.!

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