Son recently diagnosed with ASD

[MabelthePenguin]

I've been lurking on this board for the past few months but haven't joined in yet, my ds2 age 4 was diagnosed with ASD in April this year.
Even though I knew the outcome before the diagnosis it has still really knocked me and I still feel as if every little thing upsets me.
DS was 4 late Aug so in between the time from diagnosis to now we've been sorting his EHC plan and we've managed to get him to stay at his combined resource Nursery til next Sept. Im really pleased with this outcome as ds had settled brilliantly there and after a awful trial at a mainstream nursery last year it took alot for me to feel completely happy leaving him in someone else's care.
We've not really had any support since his diagnosis, no earlybird course has been mentioned and now we have to go and look at schools for next Sept I'm feeling very overwhelmed with this difficult choice.
Im also feeling v lonely and isolated and I don't think this is helping, I know no other SN families I really need to search for local groups and things like that myself but Im very shy and I just don't feel ready right now.
I'd like to be able to come on here and talk about things my friends and family can't relate to.
So I'd just like to say hello and introduce myself and my amazing ds.

[Imaginosity]

I was at the same point as you 2 years ago. I felt very depressed and worried about everything as I didn't really know what to expect.

Since he was diagnosed, DS has had a lot of help and his headteacher said there has been a huge improvement in him since he started school. He still has things he struggles with but we are learning how to help him with these. And I have learned to accept him the way he is - and to let him live his life in his own way and to stop trying to fit him into the 'normal' box.

I only feel sad occasionally now. We have a happy life overall and DS in particular is very happy

What is your DS like and what issues does he have?

[Mumoftwinsandanother]

Hi Mabel, also in similar position in that My DS turned 4 in August, was diagnosed in April this year. We also delayed school start and he is in the 2nd year of the nursery attached to , it tends to be a bit simplistic and they are very keen to put the MS school I hope he will go to. Support has been ok here, it tends to be very simplistic and they are very keen to put DS into a box he doesn't fit in; however, there is lots of support groups but haven't found anything that fits me yet. I like reading these boards as you can dip in and out as you choose. I empathise massively with the grief feelings and the worry about what will be. I have had this loads shortly before/after diagnosis although currently seem to be feeling better about it (perhaps because DS is doing well at the moment). Please tell us about your DS.

[MabelthePenguin]

Thank you for taking the time to reply, nursery is going well here I suppose I'm just feeling very anxious about the unknown hopefully once we've been to look around at some suitable schools I'll begin to feel a little more at ease.
My DS is amazing I really wouldn't change him for the world but he does struggle, his speech is very delayed but its coming on. Right now mainly just copying lots of words that we say which he hasn't done much of before we've also been having lots of pointing which is also new and brings a new way for him to engage in conversation with us and everyone he choses to speak to.
He really struggles with his sensory issues more than anything tbh, he only eats a couple of different things and this has been since he was 20 months old. Right now he's very hyper sensitive on his feet, its a huge struggle to get him to wear shoes and then within an hour he would have taken them back off again its not easy to take him out for this reason alone, if he gets a speck of water or anything really on his clothes he has to take them all off.
Since the beginning of summer he will only wear long sleeve tops and trousers and if we put a short sleeve top on him he would take all of him clothes of immediately then refuse to get dressed, this has been so difficult all through the summer holidays.
We are hoping that its the huge change in routine which has set this hyper sensitivity of being off nursery for 6 weeks then returning 5 days a week instead of 3, were introducing a now and next board at home to see if this helps he's always been very laid back about routines before this but I suppose going to Nursery and getting used to that routine has changed how he feels.
We've been trying PECS for about 6 months now but DS is very hesitant to use them and we've had more success without them so were just going along with that atm.
We have bad days and good days, so far today has been a good day he happily went into Nursery and greeted all of the teachers, he took an interest in the other children straight away and began to join in playing with them while I was leaving. It was lovely I've come home and felt relaxed for a change rather than anxious about how his day is going, its a far cry from when he returned a couple of weeks ago and every morning we had tears, he also gets excited when he sees his uniform too and says 'go to school', yes I'm feeling alot happier today.

[Mumoftwinsandanother]

Glad you have had a good day. I hear a lot of parents say that DC mostly cope well at school (like the routine of it etc) but issues tend to arise at home. I'm the other way round, my DS doesn't like school much (even on a good day) but is fine at home. Great that your DS is interested in other kids. Are you trying to fill in an EHCP at the moment did you say, are you getting help to do this? You can ring up NAS and book yourself on an early bird course (not all LAs have bought this course from NAS). I think its free if you have a diagnosis. We are going on LA run one either Jan or March this year but you have to get on it before DC turns 5 (so you only have 2 other rounds of courses to get on before your DS is too old if your area is anything like mine so I would do it without delay if you fancy it). They prioritise children who are about to become older than 5. Not sure if its very useful (certainly the autism teacher here really rates it so I will see). Can you get on a Hanem course through your LA, I asked through the local SALT. It was really useful for us (lots of tips for encouraging language/communication and joint attention - again the earlier the better). I am in Herts so may be different re provision where you live.