Should I see my GP with my list of worries about DS?

[Heartmum2Jamie]

This is a copy of the original post I put on the behaviour board, it was suggested I try here. I had thought about it last night and nearly put it here first as I already lurk/post occassionally here, but didn't want to appear neurotic (which is exactly what my gp thinks of me already )



I thought about putting does my son has xyz? as the title, but thought it would be better asking if my ds1's behaviour is typical of a 5.8 year old.

Anyway, I have recently sat and made a list as my dh and I are starting to get concerned with some traits we have noticed. When started home educating just before xmas, so some of these things have become more appartent with spending more time together. We are both just very frustrated. Here is the list.

·Returned to daytime accidents at 5, after being dry for 2+ years. Doesn?t seem to be caused by stress or problems at school. Have ruled out medical reasons

·Still not dry at night (although could be hereditary)

·Always had a thing for peeing wherever he could, all over his toys, behind his wardrobe, in the bath (empty bath with plug in) and out of his bedroom window.

·Making the biggest mess while doing a pooh, smears on the walls, on the floor, on the seat, all around the bowel and on the sink. According to hubby, he tries to do acrobatics while doing his business

·Short attention span, lack of concentration

·Lack of imaginative play (although talks to himself and has/had an imaginary friend, but rarely plays anything original with his toys, just copies what he sees on tv)

·No empathy

·Always fidgets, is never still

·Loses things easily

·Is never bothered by anything, hence why star charts, taking things away or praising good behaviour doesn?t seem to work

·Slightest things set him off into a tantrum or meltdown (very bad loser when it comes to games). He would rather grunt when he has been upset or in a bad mood.

·Finds it very difficult to make friends, comes across as very shy, but talks to everyone like they are dirt.

·Always suffered with pains in his feet, like growing pains

·Refuses to look you in the eye when talking to him about serious things, has never said sorry of his own accord (grunts it at you, but doesn?t mean it, just does it to be allowed out of his room) and has never helped to clean up (my 2 year old loves to help) and has never loved to help with anyway.

·Lack of confidence / has low self esteem

·HATES loud noise, puts hands over his ears when I am hoovering, if I have my music on loudly or during the spin cycle of the washer, although admittedly, it sounds like a jumbo jet taking off, lol!

·No matter how many times we tell him off he never learns and does the exact same thing again just minutes later.


Please tell me honestly what you think. I have gathered up my courage to post here as friends and family seem to think I should be mentioning these things to the GP, but as I already have one special needs child, I am scared that something could be wrong with my "healthy" child.

Thanks in advance!

[Heartmum2Jamie]

Opps, meant to say that i realise that some of the things on my list are normal for a 5 year old, like night time wetting etc! I just wrote everything down as it came to me.

Also a bit of background:

Ds1 was just turned 3 when ds2 came along. Ds2 was very high maintenance from the get go, meaning that most of my attention was focused on ds2 for the first 18 months of his life, resulting in a few hospital stays and being away from the family home. Things have been fairly settled for the last year (still very hard work, but we are used to it now)and ds's behaviour has not improved at all, but got worse from about the age of 4.5

I suppose I wondered if it could be attention seeking, although some of this stuff he does secretly and we only find out much later (like weeing out of his bedroom window). Maybe anxiety? I really am not sure but am sick of the constant worry.

[Bugsy2]

My DS is 7 and shares many similar traits & a few others of his own too. I went to see my GP & was referred to a child psychologist via CAMHs (Children & Adult Mental Health - I think). We are going through the assesment stage & I am probably going to get some kind of diagnosis on Monday of next week. I'll keep you posted.

[Dinosaur]

Hello Heartmum, glad to see you've found us on here!

[coppertop]

It's hard to say for sure but I would ask the GP for a referral to a Developmental Paed.

Smearing is often sensory-related. Sometimes it's because a child likes the feel of the poo. Ds1 is the opposite and smears when he panics because he's got some on his hand while wiping. (Sorry if TMI at this time of the day!)

I must admit that a few of those things do sound similar to my ds1 (6.5yrs) but as I don't have an NT child of that age I don't know which bits are just a typical thing for a child of his age and which are SN-related.

Sorry you're having these extra worries.

[coppertop]

I haven't seen the B&D thread so apologies if I've just repeated what other people have already said.

[Saggarmakersbottomknocker]

Hi hun. Sorry to see you here, YKWIM, worrying about ds1. I'm just passing thru this morning but hope you get some good responses.

FWIW ds2 was very similar, as we've spoken of before. Lots of his behaviours I put down to me disappearing pretty much overnight to be with dd in hossie for a long spell. And he was a similar age to your ds1. Resolving his ENT issues improved him alot but I have to say that he is pretty eccentric in his ways. Some of them are polar opposite to your ds1, particulalrly the 'not bothered about anything' - ds2 is so bothered about everything being just so he drives me nuts.

Speak soon - have a bad case of PAT at the mo and keeping my head down. Good luck on Monday.

[Heartmum2Jamie]

Lol! Thank-you for that coppertop, I am eating my breakfast, pmsl!! Thankfully I am not as tickled stomached as I once was!

I think ds also smears more out of panic, but still, it is amazing how much mess he can make

Good luck with getting a diagnosis Bugsy2

Maybe I am just over analysing everything right now and being overly critical and seeing everything as something it is not. I have been dealing with DLA for ds2 since August and have got so used to thinking in terms of the worst day ever. Should be over on Monday though, thank goodness!

[Heartmum2Jamie]

Lol! Hi Saggar! Knew I would probably see you here! I somehow think the not bothered personality is easier to deal with in most cases as he isn't bothered by change or anything.

Hugs for you and dd. I will try and catch up with you on the other board, or will text you.

[Dinosaur]

Bugsy, all the best from me too.

[Bugsy2]

Thanks Dino. Am unbelievably anxious. Will probably posting as a gibbering wreck on Monday after the consultation. You have been warned!

[Dinosaur]

I'll look out for you posting, Bugsy. Stay strong.

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

Bugsy

I would personally speaking only not go near CAMHS with a long pole!.

I am wondering why your child was referred to such a team in the first place. They certainly have their place yes but I cannot understand why he was not referred to a developmental paed.

Would also say that if you get nowhere with CAMHS then I would return to your GP and insist that your son is referred to a developmental paediatrician.

[PeachyClair]

Hi hm2jamie

I will give you the same advice I give everyone- see a Paed. because you see, a Dx can take years t get once you are in the system, a waiting list can be months (or years- grrrr) so it is always wiorth getting on the list, as if it gets worse then you'd have to start at the start and..... oh I hope you know what I mean!


I ahve a 6 year old (just turned on Wednesday) and a AS 7 year old so from your list I would say-


some seems bang on normal to me, the wriggling, wee'ing (mores the pity) and losing stuff. Some says to me get seen- the poo thing, lack of empathy, no imaginative play (altho an imaginary friend is a good sign).
And some could well have fed off theo other stuff- so low self esteem etc could be a result of the above. So I think you've got a complex mix going on and as such it needs a Paed to disentangle.

HTH