my ds is asd, adhd, spd. He started his new special school two months ago. ds is 10 years old. there have been lots of teething problems with ds settling into school and meltdowns have increased and the intensity of them has too. we are really struggling to keep things on an even keel. yesterday was truelly the worst I have ever felt and I broke down. Ds had an OT appt at hospital which he had said he didn't want to go to, but we had done lots of preparation before hand and explained that we need to go to appointments. He was furious when I collected him for it. I waited in the car park at the hospital for him to calm down. He screamed abuse at me and was lashing out at the car. Eventually we got to the hospital waiting room (childrens) there were no other kids in there thank goodness. The worst meltdown he has ever had ensued. He was throwing things, kicking and punching walls, running away, screaming and shouting and blaming me for everything. 5 Healthcare professionals came out to see what was happening including his CAMHS lady who was screamed at as was everyone else. He had lost control completely. Though he never attempted to hit anybody. security were called. I stayed calm but eventually silently cried as the receptionist was so kind to me. He refused to see the OT and when he calmed down, he apologised to me over and over but for the first time ever I could not hold back the tears - not even for him who I love so dearly. I try not to show emotion as I don't want to fuel the situation or make him feel worse/bad about himself, but yesterday we drove back and I was unable to stop myself. I know this made him feel awful. He made me a card and cut some flowers from the garden for me. I've read the book 'the explosive child' and try not to place demands on him. But, hospital appointments are necessary and I cannot let him decide not to go. I feel so down, my life flashed before me and I saw a great hulking teenager stood in front of me behaving like this and I thought I just couldn't cope with it. We have an appt saturday with his ADHD paed and will discuss his meds (elvanse) which I dont think are helping his moods and maybe talk about his anxiety and meltdowns. Meltdowns have usually been at home, so more contained. Im now scared to take him out, but no that I must. Its very hard to calm him down once he is in the rumble stage of a meltdown as he simply will not engage. Any suggestions? or words of encouragement? feeling like i have been steam rollered today and my head is in a vice. Am actually dreading him coming home .
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