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Social isolation

(10 Posts)
Shineyshoes10 Wed 13-Apr-16 09:25:35

Does anyone else worry their DC are isolated? What do you do about it?

DS has been out of school since January. He doesn't do any extra curricular activities anymore. He won't play with other children. When his brothers have friends round he retreats to my knee anxious. He knows these children well. At one point they were his friends too.

He goes to a CAMHS unit for 3 sessions a week. Them, play therapy and hospital appointments are the only times DS routinely leaves the house. Even then he often has a meltdown. Sometimes I need to go somewhere so he has to come if there's no one suitable to leave him with. This always leads to a meltdown. Occasionally he'll go into the garden but not often.

He doesn't interact with anyone outside of the house. Nearly a year on play therapy is still about building a relationship between the therapist and DS. He won't get off my knee let alone let me leave the room. The CAMHS sessions are all individual because they don't think he can cope in a group and he's the youngest by a fair way (which is the reason why he's doing 3 sessions and not more) especially when you take into account his social development. Inside the house he will sometimes interact with some people he knows well but not always.

How do I stop him becoming even more isolated? He's regressed a lot and I'm worried social isolation isn't helping and having a negative impact on his MH.

zzzzz Wed 13-Apr-16 09:58:17

How Old is he?

Shineyshoes10 Wed 13-Apr-16 10:14:41

Missed that bit. He's 6.

zzzzz Wed 13-Apr-16 10:17:35

How is he with adults? (I know the therapist is struggling to reach him but what about others?)

Shineyshoes10 Wed 13-Apr-16 10:40:51

He's the same with adults-CAMHS professionals, Drs/nurses, DHs/my friends, his brothers' friends' parents. He will either not move off my knee, hide behind me or under a chair/table if I'm not around. If he doesn't know them he will have a meltdown. I can count on one hand the number of people outside of family he will interact with.

zzzzz Wed 13-Apr-16 12:05:44

Don't be scared. It can get much better. Dd was similar (though it was related to medication).
She talks almost anywhere now and is very feisty. (Now 8).
What does he like doing?

Shineyshoes10 Wed 13-Apr-16 14:32:59

Thanks for replying.

Good to hear your DD is doing so well.

He loves lego. Even then he will only interact with a few people. When others try to play lego with him, depending on who it is and his mood, he will either meltdown, stop playing and come to me or move away and play alongside them rather than with. He's had some lego therapy in the past in school and we're waiting for the LA to organise some more now the EHCP is finalised.

sh77 Wed 13-Apr-16 14:44:14

Ds is 5 and diagnosed with HFA. He's happy at school and will interact with the kids but outside if school is socially isolated. He will get very anxious about attending any clubs and will cling to me or constantly be looking out for me. He has no friends outiside of school and hasn't asked to have any playdates with classmates. He was invited by one mum but has made excuses not to go. The weather has been glorious today but he has no desire to go out - has been building with playmags and wooden blocks since this morning. The park on our doorstep is a no go area as he panics massively at the sight of dogs.

He seems so content at home though. He doesn't stop playing or doing other activities from the moment he wakes up. I guess that's good as he's learning. I really don't know where the balance us between letting him be and making him to do stuff outside. I know how you feel.

zzzzz Wed 13-Apr-16 15:03:19

Mine loves Lego too, but not as a group thing.

I would try to add activities that aren't too stretching. Swimming? 1:1 lessons can be fun. Riding? We used to "go for a drive" if there was nothing else on. The trick is to keep going and never overstretch.

We moved schools to s tiny rural primary who were magical.

Shineyshoes10 Wed 13-Apr-16 16:56:54

sh77 I really don't know where the balance us between letting him be and making him to do stuff outside

I struggle with this too. DS would happily never leave the house given the choice but does avoiding going out really help? At what point do you force the issue?

We had to stop swimming lessons, the leisure centre's too overwhelming for him. Hydrotherapy is starting next week though. I'm hoping this goes well as he used to love swimming.

He's allergic to horses so riding won't work. Neither will going for a drive he hates the car and his car seat (but isn't yet heavy enough not to need it) to the extent he self harms. It's a struggle enough to get him in the car for appointments.

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