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3yr old dd will only poo standing up... potty training failure!

(6 Posts)
desi279 Fri 25-Mar-16 06:06:43

My daugter is 3 and has been diagnosed with global developmental delay. She has had all sorts of tests and so far nothing. She presents as dyspraxia, with sensory issues and ADHD. I should stress that the proffessionals are reluctant to label her as she is so young but she does have motor planning difficulties. This affects her fine motor skills more than the gross motor and her speech delay is quite severe. It is now more pronounced as other 3yr olds have conversations and I wonder if I will ever be able to have a two way cconversation with her. My heart just breaks for her.

Sometimes I feel encouraged and I try to figure out all sorts creative ways to help her development but it is exhausting!

There are two areas where I feel really stuck, her ADHD and potty training.
Last September, we got to a place where she tells us she has done or is doing a poo. I thought yay!! BUT she won't poo sitting down, always standing. Anytime I make her sit in the potty, she holds it in for the rest of the day and this leads to constipation if she doesn't go in 24hrs. Yesterday morning, after breakfast, I had her bare bottom as I wanted to catch her wee (she is not bothered about been wet, already tried training pants!). She did not wee for 2hrs... what child holds their wee for that long? As soon as I put the nappy on, she did a wee.

The other issue, I call the ADHD.. no formal diagnosis but she wakes up energetic and remains so till bedtime. She is pleasant with though, often humming a tune and dancing. Her attention is quite poor. I struggle to get her to focus on an activity. Reading to her is impossible, she does not follow or appear to want to follow stories of any kind.Yet she will pick up a book and flick back and forth. She will indicate she wants me to read but won't sit still or follow. I have even just said a single word per page before she flicks over. She 'reads' to herself in her own language and it made me wonder if this is how she view s verbal communication. She is however, transfixed by music and singing, has always been. Started with nursery rhymes but now she will watch whole shows of cbeebies pantos,

I guess I am asking if anyone has experience of this behaviour with regards to potty training and how it was resolved, and how to improve her attention without singing nursery rhymes all day.

Sorry for the long post.. wanted to give enough background info.

desi279 Fri 25-Mar-16 14:08:53

Bump

PolterGoose Fri 25-Mar-16 14:24:17

Her age plus her delays would mean I wouldn't worry about potty training at all.

Are you sure she's not listening when she's being active as you read? My ds (not ADHD) cannot concentrate unless he is moving, fidgeting or otherwise not looking like he's concentrating. Try reading to her when she's on a garden swing, balancing on a balance board/wobble cushion/gym ball or spinning in a Bilibo for example. Try giving her a box of fidgets too.

desi279 Sat 26-Mar-16 04:00:19

Thanks Polter, I left potty training so far because of her delays, maybe I should wait a bit longer.

Difficult one about the concentration, I just don't know. Your comments has given me food for thought.
Thanks again for responding.

MyNewBearTotoro Sat 26-Mar-16 05:50:53

My DD is 2.8 years old and can go more than 2 hours without a wee. She will sometimes go 4 hours or even a bit more. The fact your DD was able to hold her wee does suggest that she is, at least physically, ready for potty training. That said obviously there is a lot more to potty training than just being able to hold it and maybe your DD is not ready yet. Does she understand that wee goes in the potty? She has to make the transition from thinking wee goes in a nappy to thinking wee goes in a potty, the fact she held her wee until as soon as she had the nappy on suggests to me she very much thinks wee belongs in a nappy.

Have you done lots of play and activities to show wee goes in the potty? Has she watched you using the potty (watching you use the toilet might it be enough if she can't understand how a toilet and potty are similar)? If she has a short attention span potty training books might not help but there are videos and songs (search on YouTube) which she might be more interested in? Is she interested in role-play at all? If so some drink & wet type dolls might be good as well. And of course lots of rewards when she succeeds. I would try going bare-bottomed again as if you can catch her seeing and sit her on the potty and then reward a few times that might help - maybe try making sure she has a big drink at breakfast and then go all morning bottomless.

Potty training is hard work with most toddlers so if your DD has some delays it will probably take a lot more work and time on your part but if you think she's ready maybe give it a bit longer before giving up.

desi279 Sun 27-Mar-16 21:27:14

myNewbear, I think you could be right about her believing wee belongs in nappies. I just assum that she felt secure with a nappy on, so yes, she needs to transition from wee in nappies.

I also think it will be baby steps for us, so will start with being bottomless for the time being...^sign^.

Thanks for responding

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