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SN children

who do i tell off?

3 replies

ivelostmyboobsboohoo · 02/01/2007 14:48

this may seem like a totally dozy question but its something thats driving me totallybonkers. 3 kids- 2 boys with AS (8yr and almost 4)- the boys are always hurting each other, i think older one, ds1 starts it, then ds2 gets upset and it all spirals out of control. never sure whether to tell of the one who was deliberately winding up the other for a good reaction or the 'victim' of the winding up who then hurts the other one. i keep thinking that ds1 is that much older and shoiud be able to control himself a bit yet at the same time thats proib asking too much. what do you think? i dont want to just ignore it cos i want them to know its not acceptable

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nannynick · 02/01/2007 18:43

My view is that it takes two to tango. Fights between children which keep going involves BOTH of them. While one may have started it, the other retaliated.

Some children get upset easily, and seem at first to be the 'victim'. However, that may not always be the case, as it may have been them doing something that caused the other child to get cross and start a fight. Both need to learn how to get on with each other, rather than wind each other up.

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ESSgonnaBEEafabnewyear · 02/01/2007 18:53

Message withdrawn

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ivelostmyboobsboohoo · 03/01/2007 10:03

thanks girls. i do try to put them on the step with an egg timer. works for the smaller one. older one just goes into meltdown and dashes to his room where he then trashes it so then i think 'is it worth it?" i've then got to sort that out as well.

i know dd (2 on fri!) is picking up on her brothers behaviours and is learning from them, and i hate that she thinks its 'normal' to be picked on all the time and to be hurt and all the shouting that goes on.

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