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noises ds makes are making me so angry, anxious, wound up.

(11 Posts)
batteredlanger Mon 22-Feb-16 14:49:00

Ds 6 has adhd, probable hf
asd.
At the moment he is going through a phase of making noise, randomly, frequently. And the noises fill me with rage, make me want to cry, they are so annoying. "Annoying" is too trivial a description for how he makes me feel. It's awful. It makes me wNt to run away sad

I can't work out if he is doing it for the sensory feedback or not. He gets some kind of kick out of upsetting his brother. It's partly because of this thst I find the noises so anxiety/stress inducing. Ds2 shrieks in a loud high pitched way as a reaction to ds noises. Between the two of them I am on the verge of tears/running away ( not really, but I have on occasion gone and sat in the car just to get away from the noise)

It seems ridiculous, thst out of the defiant oppositional violent behavior, it is the noises thst are sending me over the edge.

He says he can't help it. I dont know how much of that is true.

Can anyone relate to this? Coping mechanisms for me? Alternative ways of giving ds the sensory feedback?

It really is the most nails-down-a,-blakboard-y noise. Like a noisy creaky groany intake of breath. Like a death rattle!

zzzzz Mon 22-Feb-16 15:02:05

Could it be a tic rather than voluntary?

You sound like you need a break. I used to walk to the end of the garden drink a cup of team and walk back. A small moment but made some head space.

PolterGoose Mon 22-Feb-16 15:05:55

You have my sympathy, out of all of ds's more 'challenging' behaviours, the verbal tic noises are the most grating, I can cope with violence, I can cope with swearing, but the incessant noises get inside my head. I know he can't help it, and I really try, but it's hard. Popping out to get some peace is a must.

batteredlanger Mon 22-Feb-16 15:12:32

I don't know zzzz. could it be? Still waiting for ot appointment and multi disciplinary assessment. Moved countries twice since he was born so each tiMe had to start process from scratch.

It's hard to get space away from them without risk of one of them doing serious damage to another! I'd have to bring the little ones with me which defeats the purpose somewhat!

zzzzz Mon 22-Feb-16 15:19:17

On a school run but, how many? How old? And WHEN DOES DH GET HOME?grin

Been there and time out is necessary not luxury.

batteredlanger Mon 22-Feb-16 15:35:49

Ds1 N
early 6.
Ds2 is 4
Dd is 2.

Ah, they are ok. Ds problems are moderate compared to sOMe.
I love them, but there are days when I'm counting down to bed time from midday! DH g

batteredlanger Mon 22-Feb-16 15:37:02

Stupid phone. Dh gets home at 6.

batteredlanger Mon 22-Feb-16 15:46:19

Thanks polter

Naomi43 Fri 11-Mar-16 01:29:20

have you tried any"sensory die" such as removing gluten and dairy? Our son has some mild sensory stuff ( he is almost 6) and we found a doctor who knows about this stuff- and he told us, gluten free, dairy free, also give him magnesium ( they make a chewable kids kind) and zinc (also a chewable kids kind) and omega/fish oil. Though when we gave ds daily fish oil he started getting nosebleeds! Now we do fish oil once or twice a week and will try to add more. But these things, while they did not 100% fix everything, helped a lot to make his issues milder. My ds also majes annoying noises when he is "flaring". I am not sure what noise you are talking about, for us it is like a high pitched similar to whining but specific, and very annoying! There are periods where he doesn't do it at all and other times where it is more.

Naomi43 Fri 11-Mar-16 01:30:08

I meant to type "sensory diet" but I was not sure how to edit my post!

StarlightMcKenzee Fri 11-Mar-16 07:18:49

I completely sympathise with this. No tolerant, moral or perfect parenting to my strategy I'm afraid. I tried anger management techniques but you can't employ them whilst the assault is actually happening.

In the end it was a rule that the noise can be made but not in the same room as another person. It's ongoing work and ds is 9, but the truth is if it creates an aggressive reaction in me, then he is not safe in confined spaces with non-family.

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