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DH in denial

2 replies

NoraOrNot · 17/01/2016 20:49

 DS is just 2. I'll give a bit of background. He was born at 33 weeks. He had an MRI on his due date as he had had some irregular movements in NICU. The results of the MRI were bilateral cranial calcifications. DS has had developmental delays and has only recently started walking. He is still under his neonatal consultant and has been having fortnightly physio for a year. The health visitor has also referred to salt and portage. 
So it has obviously taken me a bit of time to get my head around this  but I am coming to terms with it all. 
However DH seems to be in total denial! We saw the consultant last week and it felt like we were both talking about a different child. DS can only walk a few steps without falling. He wears piedro boots, has a limp, a wide gait and tip toes walks. He can't climb any steps. Anyway DH told the consultant that DS can climb the stairs at home totally unaided - me and the physio ( she attended as DS will not allow people to examine him) just looked at him with confused faces.
Also last night DH asked me if DS had hurt his leg as he was limping badly but that is how he always walks!
Sorry if I'm rambling and that this post is so long but I feel so confused. Has anyone experienced their DH being in total denial? He seems to think that a pair of trainers and playing football will cure DS. While I feel so alone trying to sort things for the child we actually have.

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Msqueen33 · 17/01/2016 21:19

My dd was diagnosed a few months back and she's five and he actually said who were they to say she had autism. I think for men it's harder to get their heads round. I do all the Sen stuff on my own as I found in the early days my husband made things more difficult. It was very lonely. Have you talked to him about it?

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GingerFoxInAT0phat · 18/01/2016 20:31

My ds is nearly three and has a speech delay and we are looking for an autism diagnosis.

Dh used to kind of ignore me when I spoke to him about it and say I was trying to label him, he's fine etc. But when his friend brought his 18 month boy to ours a couple of days ago even dh could see the difference is interaction and that the 18 month old couple repeat words, follow instructions etc. I think that really hit it home to him that there is something different with our own lovely little boy.

He also came along to the speech therapy session today and hearing them say what they think had settled into him more than if I had just told him and he now seems to have turned 360 degrees.

Could you arrange a play date with a child similar in age, some people might need a visual jolt?

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