How do I tell dd (11) that we have started the process of (potentially) getting a diagnosis of dyspraxia/dyslexia

[RainbowDashed]

^^ what the thread title says really.

Following some earlier threads on MN I have spoken to the learning co-ordinator for her year at school, just to garner opinion on whether we should consider asking for a referral to diagnose dyspraxia. She is going to start the school's internal system to decide whether a child needs to be referred - looking at her organisational skills and asking her subject teachers for their opinion on concentration etc. Academically she's doing OK but she's stuggling with organising herself and remembering what she needs to do, it's become far more evident since she left primary school where she was pretty much micromanaged the whole time she was there.

She's quite hormonal sensitive at the moment and her self esteem is on the floor. I think what I'm most nervous of is that we go ahead with a referral and she gets no dx - which will only make her feel more crappy about herself than she already does.

Also struggling to think of exactly to start the conversation with her.

Funnily () I let myself be talked out of requesting an assessment for dyslexia when she was 7 - she's always seemed quite bright to me (pfb?) but could barely read or write until the end of y2.

It's now my opinion that, yes, she is bright, which has helped her overcome the difficulties she has, leading to her "average" results. She has always tested at bang on average in SAT's, but to talk to her, she seems better than that iyswim? But because she was meeting her targets, her primary school wouldn't entertain that she had a problem and I believed them, at the time.

Sorry a bit of a ramble there but any experience or advice around how to discuss this with dd would be very much appreciated.

[Darkchocolatebuttons]

I like what Polter suggests - you talk about all the other people who have made huge contributions to our lives and who also had dyslexia, dyspraxia, autism etc.

Then, say you think it is time to explore how she learns and find out exactly what her strengths and weaknesses are. No need to mention looking for a diagnosis.

Have you seen this fact sheet from the dyspraxia foundation?

www.dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Getting-a-diagnosis-of-dyspraxia-for-under-18s1.pdf

Good luck.

[RainbowDashed]

Thanks for your replies, :)

I think I'll go along the lines of finding ways to help her learn more effectively and manage her time. I won't mention the possibility of a diagnosis unless it looks like one will be likely.

I've posted on this board a couple of times now and all the replies have been really helpful, this is all so new, it's lovely to know that there are people out there willing to share thoughts and experiences, thanks again :)

[2boysnamedR]

My son was much younger at diagnosis but I just started off dropping things into conversation. Like - were going to see the lady about why it hurts to write and walk and why your bendy. Then just added a bit more as I went - your very bendy, more than most people them eventually gave all that it's name.

I have met some adult dyspraxic people and we talk about what they found hard as a child and what they do now ( strongly both have MSc's so maybe it's not very representative but it is a positive outcome).
But he was five then, he accepted it without much question

[elliejjtiny]

We did similar to 2boys with DS1 who has aspergers syndrome. He prefers the term "social communication disorder" though as he says it describes it better.