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DD, 5 - does this sound like ASD?

5 replies

wordsandmusic · 26/10/2015 20:52

Hi, I haven't posted on here for ages but hoping some of you might be able to help me put this into perspective. I would be very grateful for any thoughts of advice on the best way forward.

In short, my ds (8) was privately diagnosed with ASD 2 years ago. I now have serious concerns about dd (5) who is in Yr 1. Short list of her traits:

  • Speech difficulties - hard to understand; SALT has also diagnosed auditory processing problems; v sensitive to some sounds, doesn't hear well against background noise
  • Slight obsessiveness about numbers/facts - eg woke me up this morning and began talking about dividing and doubling numbers
  • Struggles socially - can be controlling and bossy or standing on edge of group unsure how to join in; comes home from school everyday with new persona - copied phrases and mannerisms from other girls in the class
  • Knows all her classmates' birthdays and what their shoes are like - but doesn't really get on with them as they get on with each other
  • Extreme and increasingly violent explosive temper - this only happens at home; in school she is a model student - tries so hard to please and fit in, comes home exhausted, stressed and grumpy but is never able to explain what is wrong. Academically, she's doing great so the school see no problem at all.


I thought for a time that some of her behaviours were learnt from her brother but I don't think that's it now.

Any thoughts? Should I push for diagnosis? Will it help? How can I get school to somehow make the days less stressful for her?
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mummytime · 26/10/2015 21:22

I would go to your GP and ask for a referral. (You can also talk to her SALT about it, some are pretty knowledgable about ASD).

You could also talk to school, and see if her teachers are observing anything.

I would still try to start the process as it takes time. Also difficulties (especially in girls) can become far more "obvious" as they get older and cross developmental stages.

School should be concerned and attempting to help her with her social skills anyway.

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wordsandmusic · 26/10/2015 21:54

Thanks. The school have told us that she does have friends so they are not concerned. Although they have also noticed that she likes to do maths worksheets during golden time...

I don't think the SALT had much knowledge but will try again.

On the one hand, I think that she probably won't get a diagnosis so I'm not sure whether it's worth putting her through it, and also unsure what a diagnosis will achieve.

On the other, I'm really worried about the amount of stress she appears to be experiencing at such a young age, how this will get worse in future and - of course - about the increasing violence.

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mummytime · 26/10/2015 23:47

Challenge them on that! I have one DD who school argued for years (3-6) she was fine, eventually they did some observations and saw she wasn't interacting with others and when asked she told them she had no friends.

I think the diagnosis of Girls is getting easier, it is getting generally more recognised.

Keep a diary, make notes of everything. Read Tony Attwood.
My DD was not at all stressed by the diagnosis procedure, but we were lucky to see an Ed Psych on a different matter who spotted it in the first 1 hour, and so was happy to go through the process just ensuring she did pass the threshold (if she hadn't he'd have said she had "traits" or had difficulties related to her high intelligence).

But I would go initially with a bit of an open mind - you are not looking for a specific diagnosis, just the right one which will help you and others understand her difficulties. She definitely has "difficulties".

Good luck.

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Youarentkiddingme · 28/10/2015 07:26

words my ds was described as popular and having loads of friends. I wouldn't base too much on that. Schools have 30 children in a class if they see a child near another talking they base their answers on this.
The truth with ds was he was on the outside having his own conversation!

If you have concerns I'm a great believer in parents instinct - go to go and ask for referral.

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wordsandmusic · 30/10/2015 20:07

Thanks so much for the advice. I know something's not right really, just don't hold out much hope on getting any help from anyone.... Mummytime, it's really helpful to think of it in terms of seeking the right diagnosis, not a specific one. Thanks very much. I will bite the bullet and see the GP. One of the things holding me back is I know that our local diagnostic centre has huge waiting lists, loads of staff absence etc so I fear we might not be seen for some time....I suppose that really that makes it even more important to do it now. Thanks for the encouragement

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