someone please help me

[talnunn]

My little boy who's 4 has just fallen back to sleep while I'm sat here in floods of tears.
Another night that he's woken up hysterical and to put it bluntly beat the crap out of me.
Without warning he will just wake up screaming bloody murder and completely lay into me kicking punching slapping, there's no reasoning, no stopping, I just have to sit and take it until he finally gets it out of his system.. which usually takes hours.
I love my son with all my heart, but I'm completely terrified of him, I know you'll all think I'm crazy being scared of a four year old child, but he's so big for his age and has so much strength in him he seriously hurts me every single day, we could be sitting playing with his favourite blocks and all of a sudden out of nowhere he will punch me in the face, I'm completely overwhelmed and scared, I'm a single mum with not much of a support system, my mum and dad help when they can but he lashes out at them too and it's horrific, my beautiful little baby kicking my mum in the face, punching my dad in his ribs, it's mortifying.
I've asked for help from his paediatrician and we get no where, all we get is referrals that never come to anything. He's non verbal and when he gets into his rage there's no calming him, he just attacks
Please someone, anyone just give me some help/advice please!!!
I don't want to be scared of my little baby anymore

[talnunn]

Sorry I forgot to mention his condition is severe autism, thanks so much for any advice

[JsOtherHalf]

Referral to the disabled children's adaptations team? They are usually in your local authority, and can help make your house safer eg special locks on doors, making bedroom completely safe for him so you don't have to worry if he is awake in it.

Have you checked out your local authority 'local offer' web pages? Is he at school soon?

[LIZS]

Do you co-sleep? You don't have to put yourself in the line of fire. Check he is safe if he wakes and don't engage or go close enough to be hit. If he is on any medication that may disrupt sleep.

[Youarentkiddingme]

Have you ever heard of safe space rooms? It may be something you think would work for ds and you? Many charities will fund these.

I'd also suggest looking at sensory processing and sensory integration techniques.

Here .....

[talnunn]

Thanks so much for all of your advice,
We do Co sleep at the moment, not through my own choice though, he slept in his own bed but once the summer holidays started and his routine changed with not going to nursery anymore he regressed and is now sleeping in my bed it's the only place he will fall asleep. I'm hoping and praying to get him back into his own bed once he's settled at school.
He starts his first year at a special needs school in 2 days, I'm so anxious to how he will adapt to the change.
I will look into the suggestions you've made, I'm in a rented property will I still be able to have adaptations?
Thank you all so much for your advice x

[Youarentkiddingme]

It maybe difficult to get adaptations in private rental but council/HA there shouldn't be an issue.

If your private I'd find a professional (OT, lpead etc) to write supporting letters with regards the need for adaptations and you should get an emergency medical need placement. (Sadly this won't happen overnight and yes moving isn't simple). If you don't have a garden I'd also point out how he needs outside shade that's a safe too.

[Youarentkiddingme]

And if your in a game/council property look into their own adaptation grants for disability. They often have pots of money and you can apply and get better fencing, gate, locks etc

[ElementaryMyDear]

Do you have a care plan from Social Services? If not, or if it's inadequate - which it certainly sounds as if it is - contact them immediately and submit a request in writing that they do a core assessment. They have to complete that within 40 days and should produce a detailed care plan. I would strongly suggest you consider asking for help with him at home, possibly including respite care.

Also, does he have an Education, Health and Care Plan? The Care section should also have a detailed description of the social care support he needs, although many of them don't. Would you qualify for legal aid? If so I strongly suggest contacting Maxwell Gillott for advice.