Aspergers behaviour help needed.

[scampbeast]

My DS 6 is showing some sighs of behavior which could be Asperger, or just him needing to develop his social skills more. I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice on any methods which have helped them which I could use.
Our main problem is communication when playing with others. DS will "clam up" then ends up hitting out or biting) rather than using words to say something like "I don't want to play anymore" even trying to get him to walk away from a situation hasn't worked.
The school term started last week (Scotland) and I have had 3 conversations with the teacher this week about his behavior. He doesn't like new situations so he is in an open area class in the same area as last year as his teacher from last year thought that might help him (thankfully they are not too noisy) I even brought up the issue that there is no set place for his class to line up which starts him stressing before school even starts (hoping this will be sorted soon)
At home I constantly tell him to "use words" to explain problems, yet can't get him to stop talking and asking questions about the emergency services or how things work.
The internet has plenty of information on autistic behavior but I can't find information on strategies to help children cope with how they feel or what to do in these situations.
Can anyone point me in the right direction of tell me anything which has worked for their children?

[scampbeast]

Thanks, his teacher and our GP both feel that he is not autistic, but that his behavior can be similar. His teacher this year says she has seen other children who eventually grow out of this behavior in a few years, I just want to know how I can help him more.

[OneInEight]

Bear in mind teachers nor G.P.'s are experts - if you have concerns then please ask for a referral to CAMHS or Community Paediatrician. A SALT referral may also be useful to do a complex speech assessment i.e. not whether they can talk which your ds obviously does but whether there are any irregularities in his receptive or expressive language (basically how he understands language and how he says things). No teacher raised concerns about my two until they were in Year 4 and they started throwing chairs around the classroom but then, of course, they obviously had an ASD . If the teacher is right and he grows out of it absolutely fantastic but if he doesn't investigating now might help bring him support that he is able to function better socially and in the classroom.

ds1 and ds2 can also get a verbal block when they are stressed and literally can't get the words out. At times like this they also have a block to comprehending information so bear in mind that he may not actually be understanding anything said to him at that moment in time. We have had many a meltdown when they are screaming to go home and you are telling them we can go home but they need to stop screaming and it takes ages for them to calm down. One word requests, repeated work best for us at such times. For ds2 you often just have to wait not talking, let him calm down safely and then he may (not always) be able to tell you the problem.

In terms of walking away again we have had big problems - at school can you suggest they designate a safe-place for him to go when he is stressed and they "role-play" this with him when he was calm. Mine will walk away (sometimes anyway) but in the past not always to appropriate places so it can backfire. It also needs to be a place where your son feels safe and not a place just convenient for the teacher otherwise it will not work ( mind you even ds2's specialist school are struggling with this concept ).

I would also ask if they have any social skills groups - not least because in a small group setting they might be able to better identify where things are going wrong and how better to help your ds.

If there are things like the lining up that you know are making your ds anxious then do continue to tell the teacher. It doesn't matter if they think you are a PITA parent if it improves things for your ds then it is worth doing. I have never regretted raising an issue but have had plenty of times where I wished I had said something and then we might have avoided a larger problem. If you have a child who struggles with social communication then you have to be their voice and raise issues that most children would be able to tell the teacher themselves.