Starting to think my DD (10) has Asperger traits - can anyone please advise?

[Tinfoiled]

I hope that this is the right section - if I write about some of her behaviours would other parents on here recognise/sympathise or even advise. I know it is impossible for people to diagnose over the internet, I'm not expecting that, just advise if it would be worth pursuing it elsewhere?

She has always been a 'highly sensitive' girl, but now at age 10 I am starting to put together a sort of jigsaw of her behaviour... She has always struggled a bit socially, but it seems to be becoming more pronounced. She says she feels 'different' to the other girls in her class, and has played more with boys in her class in the past. She doesn't 'get' that girls in her class are becoming more interested in hair, music etc, finds it very boring. She is very articulate and clever and very very emotionally aware, but at the same time, quite immature (gets on better with younger children and at the same time, adults). I tend to think of her almost like a character in an Enid Blyton novel (if that makes sense!) - she has an innocent, old fashioned way about her!

She has always had food issues, eats quite a limited diet, issues are around textures mainly. Also has issues with clothes being uncomfortable. Hates loud noise, has refused to go to parties/discos from a very young age or if she has gone been extremely miserable there. She also has a number of (highly annoying!) humming/tapping/silly noises behaviour when she's bored mainly, but also when stressed (sensory seeking, rather than avoiding) Lots of anxiety issues and the beginnings of low self esteem . I have only become aware recently of how girls can present differently with ASD. It might be that I am on the wrong track completely - either way she is struggling with the social aspects of school and I am worried about her. Can anyone recognise/relate to any of this?

[2boysnamedR]

I was told by school a few months back they thought my 11 year old son might have Aspergers ( sorry I can't spell and I know no one diagnoses that now). He's getting socially more and more difficult. Doesn't have friends despite being very outspoken and previously popular ( he would chat to anyone). His new school is going to keep a eye on him.

I think this is a key age to start showing social difficulties so I'd listen to your instincts. A girl in his class was diagnosed this year. Mum had noticed the change recently re friendships. My friend got a referral reasonable fast

[LoveActuary]

You could be writing about my dd! 9 this month (going into year 5). Always emotionally sensitive and fragile. Had trouble socializing (didn't know how, in the way that nt kids do) and still loves playing with year R or much older kids (if they tolerate her!)

Long-standing (years and years) issues with food: nothing touching on the plate, nothing mixed together or in sauce (none of those quick and easy one pot meals for us!) Hasn't eaten fruit or veg for 7 years (texture).

Struggles with clothes - many itchy or uncomfortable. Seam-free underwear and socks (thank you M&S) and has to cut labels out of clothes.

Oversensitive hearing (from when she was a baby), loves and craves deep touch and spins and thumb sucks (sensory seeking).

Problems need to be observed in more than one setting so although we have long been aware of these issues, we had to wait for school to witness and recognise her behaviour. (Tricky because she is good at hiding it at school, lots of coping mechanisms - including going to the cloakroom for a meltdown!)

Diagnosis of autism at end of year 4. Message me if helpful!

[onlyoneboot]

Another recognising. I have 2 DDs recently diagnosed, very quickly once they fell apart at school unfortunately, and their self esteem is much improved knowing the reason for their difficulties and feelings of being different. Good luck

[Schrodingersmum]

Another very similar DD here, please talk to your GP as she is coming to transition age, we have sadly learnt that it is common for children like this to not transition well from primary to secondary school unless support is in place to help them cope

[youarekiddingme]

I have a DS not a DD who's the same age and recently diagnosed.

What jumped out of your post for me was the not understanding why children that age wanted to talk clothes etc - or just hang around chatting and the playing with younger children.

I'd go to the GP with your concerns and say your concerned about her self esteem so GP can see potential difficulties as well as current.

[TheReason]

Well I'd get her checked out of you are concerned as it may or may not be aspergers.

It could just be that's she's not as mature as the others or maybe maybe very anxious. I was like her as a child but I don't have aspergers. I did have social anxiety which I've almost grown out about 20 years later. When I was about 14 or 15 the people in my class were starting to drink and to have boyfriends - but even at that age I was more comfortable playing with my little sisters. I had few friends. I was very anxious and would get very worked up if my sisters made any noise when I was trying to study.

When I went to college I made friends, started to enjoy going out, met my DH and was finally happy. I did have spells of anxiety since then as it's just my personality - but overall things are pretty good now

[Tinfoiled]

Thank you all very much for your responses, lots to think about. I wouldn't say I had a gut feeling about it being ASD but I know things aren't right for her and I'm worried about her coping with secondary school. She has also mentioned feeling like she has a big belly and hates her 'fat' face (she is really slim). I'm so worried about her. I think a trip to the gp will be a starting point.

[bitbap18]

Can def see similarities in my daughter (7) who's diagnosed with Aspergers. I also have a hubby with Aspergers and sounds similar to him too.

Def see someone - GP, senco at school and get her referred. Even if it isn't, there could be something else that they could help with to make it easier for her and you.

We were told we were extremely lucky and rare to get our DD diagnosed at 6/7, it usually 10/11/12, when social stuff becomes more apparent.

[MrsBrollyhook]

I'd agree that you should speak to your gp. It may not be asd, but anxiety needs addressing whatever the cause. She sounds a lot like my DD who is also 10 and awaiting an assessment. Similarly we started putting the pieces together as the social difference has become more apparent.