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To the parents whose kids attend special schools far away from home...

(12 Posts)
adrianna22 Mon 20-Jul-15 12:09:24

As you all know, DS will be going to a special school in September.

Parents from his mainstream school class have just found out that his leaving. Many parents have judged me harshly as they don't think it's a good idea for DS to go to a school far away and strongly advised I should of put him into the local specialist units/schools.

I will be transporting DS myself to the school and to get there by train takes 20 mins or an hour on the bus. DS previous nursery (which he attended for four years) was an hour and a half away, so we have been used to travelling quite far away distances.

But I find myself telling many parents that picking a special school is not as easy as choosing a mainstream school, also, there are more mainstream schools than special schools to begin with.

Has anybody had this issue? As it is really bugging me.

Elisabennet Mon 20-Jul-15 12:33:57

Parents who don't have to make difficult choices don't have a clue.....it is not like you want your DS to travel miles. You just don't have a choice. Parents who judge you probably have not had to fight as hard you for your DS to get a shot at accessing education. Or maybe they are jealous of your success at getting this placement!

JazzerciseThis Mon 20-Jul-15 12:38:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Yes, we're switching from MS primary to SS secondary in September, 10 miles away (20 mins drive, next town) but as we have two excellent MS secondaries within our own small town I have had comments about how it's always better to go to your local school and be part of the community etc. Which I agree with whole-heartedly IF it's the right school for your child. It was right for him for primary. Secondary is a completely different matter though and it wouldn't be right for mine. I think you just have to grit your teeth and remember that you are doing what's best and that these people do not know your child the way you do.

adrianna22 Mon 20-Jul-15 13:19:34

Thank-you jazza, Eliza and whoknows. I need to learn to ignore people who know nothing about mine or DS situation.

That's what I'm going to miss whoknows, the community aspect as DS has many friends at his mainstream school and they always knock for him. But I guess I had to do what was best for him.

That's the hardest part for me, and has been for him in getting used to the idea. I will still be involved with primary school for a while as I have a younger DD, but I feel quite isolated already amongst the mums in DS's class as they all chat away about the school their DCs are going to, a lot have siblings in DDs class so I will continue to see them. Having said that most of them are lovely, but it feels like a really significant parting of the ways.

ouryve Mon 20-Jul-15 13:46:53

No one's ever batted an eyelid about DS1's 45 mile each way taxi journey. Even if they did, he's not their child and they don't get to make decisions for (and with) him.

I won't be sending DS2 to a school as far away, simply because he doesn't travel so well, but I won't need to, anyhow, as they're are several schools to seriously investigate within the county and all within about 15-20 miles of where we live.

ouryve Mon 20-Jul-15 13:48:40

there areblush

fairgame Mon 20-Jul-15 16:13:58

Ds travels 45 miles each way. In January he will be going even further because his school is moving. I don't really give a flying fuck what anyone else thinks the most important thing is that he is happy and I am happy. Luckily nobody has dared to comment on his journey apart from his escort who likes to have a winge about how many hours she is doing hmm. I'm not exactly ecstatic that school is so far away but he's been there a year and I've just about got used to it. Whenever you have a child, with or without sn, everybody seems to feel they have to offer their fabulous opinion on every decision you make. Just smile and nod and think that once term is over you won't have to see them again.

Bilberry Wed 22-Jul-15 00:06:37

I thought you meant really far - like residential a couple or hundred miles away! blush. My ds is ten miles /45 mins away. Compared to the local primary it is far but compared to all those kids who go to private schools it is just the norm. Even your LA didn't really argue at the bitter end that your local ss would be suitable so it must be the right decision!

Why aren't you getting transport?

zazzie Wed 22-Jul-15 11:36:27

I think some people think all special schools are the same or if a child has sn, education isn't as important (as in "as long as they are happy"). My son loves his taxi journeys. If a child has friendships locally there is no reason why they cannot continue.

adrianna22 Wed 22-Jul-15 15:36:46

Bilberry I didn't ask for transport as his school is a reasonable distance and I would personally still like to take DS to school wherever he goes

I think that's very true indeed zazzie .

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