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A roaring success for PolterBoy as Y7 ends

(56 Posts)
PolterGoose Fri 17-Jul-15 16:18:33

We've done it, ds has finished Y7 and it has been the best year of school ever.

Thanks to a marvellous Senco who listened to me, respected my knowledge of ds's needs, put in place everything ds needed and understood the importance of ds's mental and emotional well-being, even when ds masks his feelings.

Thanks to a lovely kind tutor who went above and beyond to support ds and facilitate adjustments when needed.

Thanks to the experienced and understanding LSAs who have supported him as mentor and learning support in class.

Thanks to many excellent teachers who are finally seeing what an asset he is to a school, who have valued and encouraged him to think differently and have motivated him to produce decent work.

After years of lashing out and challenging behaviours at primary ds has not had an 'incident' for 1.5 terms, he has not lashed out in meltdown since before Christmas.

After years of being sidelined and ignored at primary he has had a steady stream of 'student of the week' and faculty commendations, he received a top award from the SEN team and was the whole school geography prize winner, and gained a gold award for praise points. He has written for the school newsletter. He has made lots of friends.

This is a small town local comp in special measures with a bad reputation for behaviour and bullying; parents and children were in tears about getting this school when we got told what school we'd got.

Without a statement or any extra funds this school have provided 1-1 mentoring, small group emotional literacy work, a safe space and LSA support in non-academic lessons.

I'm posting because I don't want to forget how far we've come. The threads I've started about ds and school have become a sort of diary and maybe can offer some hope to others.

There are some damn good schools out there and they are not always the ones everyone else is desperate to get their children into, I wish I'd known when ds was at primary how much of a difference a properly inclusive school can make, because I should have moved him, it remains my big regret.

Sorry, that was definitely longer than planned blush but I'd like to raise a glass for good schools and staff that go the extra mile winewinewine

OneInEight Fri 17-Jul-15 16:41:01

That is fantastic Polter. I am so pleased he is thriving and just goes to show what a difference appropriate help can make. Pity they can't transfer their skills to other schools.

PolterGoose Fri 17-Jul-15 16:58:01

I know, they've made it seem easy.

How are your 2 getting on?

PolterGoose Fri 17-Jul-15 17:02:23

And I forgot to thank the MNSN massive, without whom I would never have known what to ask for and what to expect, and who have supported and followed our ups and downs flowers

Piratejones Fri 17-Jul-15 17:11:13

I'm so pleased for you both. I'm actually sat here welling up, silly me.

PolterGoose Fri 17-Jul-15 17:14:28

Thanks Pirate, it's been going well but I just needed to get to the end of the last day in case in jinxed it grin

PandasRock Fri 17-Jul-15 17:14:50

Wow, what a fabulous year. The right school really does make such a difference, and I'm glad that miniPolter is enjoying school so much.

WHAT a list of achievements! He should be very proud of all that (I know you are).

Does he have anything planned to relax over the summer?

PolterGoose Fri 17-Jul-15 17:14:55

... in case I jinxed it.

OneInEight Fri 17-Jul-15 17:15:32

Probably should have a thread of my own but we continue to lurch from crisis to crisis.

ds1 had a major blip mid-year due to another child causing him major anxiety but school have been very good and he has settled down and ended the year on a high note with a residential which he really enjoyed and came back beautifully relaxed. BUT his school have just had a dire OFSTED despite being good with ds1 so we are keeping our fingers crossed that it is not forced to close. Our LA did threaten to withdraw their children but have now backtracked to saying they will fund no new placements until things improve.

ds2 is struggling again for unknown reasons and refused to go in for the last two weeks of term. The school has suggested some changes so we will try again in September probably but am not optimistic of success.

PolterGoose Fri 17-Jul-15 17:17:13

His summer will be mostly screens I expect wink

Now his anxiety is so much better we can start to work on some practical stuff, and, finally he actually wants to, so we need to work on money, roads, toileting and handwriting.

PolterGoose Fri 17-Jul-15 17:19:00

That is a shame One, impressed that ds1 recovered from blip and managed a residential, real shame about ds2 though.

ouryve Fri 17-Jul-15 17:25:00

Cheers for polterboy wine

It always strikes me that when our kids struggle, it's often not their rigid behaviours that are the problem. They do so much better when there is someone prepared to take a few risks and actually show a bit of flexibility.

PolterGoose Fri 17-Jul-15 17:30:16

That's exactly it ouryve, it's all about the flexibility and being responsive to his specific needs.

Piratejones Fri 17-Jul-15 17:51:44

It always strikes me that when our kids struggle, it's often not their rigid behaviours that are the problem. They do so much better when there is someone prepared to take a few risks and actually show a bit of flexibility.

Yes, the amount of times I've tried unsuccessfully to explain this to minipirates school is unbelievable, they need to steer but have the flexibility to let him have some control.

streakybacon Fri 17-Jul-15 17:52:50

Huge congratulations to the Polter family, and especially to Poltergosling who has done amazingly well this year. I've been so impressed by reports of him challenging himself, knowing situations were going to be tough but doing them anyway. Heck, most adults without SN find that a struggle, so hats off to him, he has my respect and admiration star.

insanityscatching Fri 17-Jul-15 17:55:51

That is absolutely brilliant and lovely to read. Huge congratulations to Polter boy and his awesome Mum.

In contrast dd is limping to the end of year seven in spite of having a statement that is very specific in terms of her support needs and having TA support for 5 and a half hours a day.

The TA's are useless, the SENCo is probably even worse if that's possible. We've had one TA removed, one safeguarding fail and now support is overseen directly by HT who actually is turning up unannounced to observe.

Pretty much goes to show that it's not the statement that everyone is led to believe that is most important more the willingness and desire from the school to do the right thing is what counts ultimately.

troutsprout Fri 17-Jul-15 18:02:23

Aww I am chuffed to bits for you both.smile. Well Done both of you !
I know that feeling of relief after a hellish primary experience v well.
This is a small town local comp in special measures with a bad reputation for behaviour and bullying; parents and children were in tears about getting this school when we got told what school we'd got
I could have written that about ds's secondary when he started there. It was absolutely brilliant for him . Dd( 12) is there now. Lol-I just keep quiet about how fab it is now ( tiny classes? mixed year groups? Teaching to level rather than age?- don't mind if I do!) and just whisper it to the people who need to know wink

Ineedmorepatience Fri 17-Jul-15 18:05:01

Amazing am so happy for you and polterboy and for the school who have stepped up and shown the "outstanding" schools a thing or two!!

I agree with insanity and also ouryve it doesnt seem to matter actually what has been agreed on support wise, if there is no ability to flex and change as and when necessary, its never going to work!

Your Ds's school has shown that in bucket loads polter Well done to them, they need a pat on the back!! grin

Onwards to yr 8 grin

Icimoi Fri 17-Jul-15 18:11:40

That's just brilliant, polter.

Might you be able to send that to Ofsted? It sounds as if the school both needs and deserves it.

Marioswife Fri 17-Jul-15 18:14:25

Thank you so much for sharing this success story!
It makes me hopeful.

PolterGoose Fri 17-Jul-15 18:18:02

It's awful that your girls have been so failed insanity and Ineed, and I think my experience shows how a good school (for our sort of kids) will do what's needed, whether there's a statement or not.

Many times in the past when things were bad at primary lots of you told me to get a statement. I started the process once and it did kick primary into action and gave me some evidence of what they were telling the LA they were doing with their top up funding. There was no way we'd have got one without independent reports and tribunals, for which we'd have needed representation, so I made the decision with ds that we'd give secondary a year and if it didn't work we'd do Internet school. I couldn't face the stresses and costs of the SEN legal system and wanted to preserve my own mental health too.

Right now, I'm feeling like I bet on the right horse grin

starsandmoonandback Fri 17-Jul-15 18:18:47

Polter. Had to come in here and say YAY!!!! You must feel a sense of success, relief, happiness and no doubt much more! Must feel good to have had the best year of school for your boy. So hard to send them to school knowing they are so unhappy. Youare hit the nail on the head...often it's others rigidity and concrete expectations that create problems of their own. Hope you are properly celebrating tonight winewinewine

PolterGoose Fri 17-Jul-15 18:20:19

Icimoi that's not a bad idea, I might put something together.

youarekiddingme Fri 17-Jul-15 18:20:33

A HUGE star to polterboy he has had an amzing year and his maturity has been outstanding.

His school have shown that listening to parents and understanding their pupils really does make all the difference and as said ^^ more so than a statement at times.

I really hope miniyouare follows suit as he starts secondary this year. If he does half as well i'll be the happiest parent on the planet as we've managed 1.5 days without meltdown! he's still very reactive.

PolterGoose Fri 17-Jul-15 18:38:19

Fingers crossed youare, my ds is still very reactive too, but he's got better at acting before reacting iyswim? It's because he trusts the school and feels safe, so he knows if he does say he needs time out they'll respect his request, and they talk through stuff like I do with him. And when he does explode (only at home now) it's almost always more verbal than physical, less intense, shorter lived and he recovers quicker, plus he's more responsive to finding alternatives.

It all comes back to reducing anxiety and overload through the things they've put in place which means he has capacity to deal with the tricky social interaction stuff which has always caused problems.

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