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3 year old displaying some worrying behaviours

(8 Posts)
shellsocks Thu 28-May-15 19:07:15

Hi, hopefully this is the right place to post this, please let me know if I'm in the wrong place. I'm after a bit of guidance I guess.

My eldest DS was 3 in March and has always been a flapper. He flaps really intensely when he is excited. I was quite concerned about this before he walked and talked (16m and just before 2 respectively) as he was also obsessed with spinning hoops....and anything else really! But it's been at the back of my mind since then as he seemed to be developing normally, for want of a better word. It's right back at the front of my mind now after discussions with our childminder who said (after me asking) that she had been keeping an eye on him as the flapping is so noticeable and when I mentioned it to my mum she said people have stared at him before when he has been with her, which breaks my heart.

He also gets very upset, extreme I would say when getting his haircut and when I clip his nails and it's getting to the point that bathing him is just an ordeal, he won't sit down in the bath. He also refers to himself in the third person the majority of the time. All of these things are getting worse and were totally fine when he was younger.

He's also a bugger for his routine/order but so am I so I've just assumed he gets that from me!

My DH thinks it's ridiculous that anything could be wrong and that this is all normal toddler behaviour, but I'm now worrying a lot. Apart from the above he is very bright, huge vocab and is starting to read, he has known his numbers since he could talk etc. He loves other children and is very affectionate with us all, great at sharing etc.

I suppose I am asking whether you think I have cause to worry and if you would bother your GP.

Thanks for reading smile

fairgame Thu 28-May-15 19:13:43

It might be worth doing the M-CHAT to see how he scores on that as some of his behaviours can be symptoms of asd (im not saying he has asd by the way!)
It might be worth looking at some information on sensory processing difficulties at well to see if any of that fits in with your son as flapping can be because a child is seeking sensory input.
What is he like with other children? How does he interact and play with them?

shellsocks Thu 28-May-15 19:56:20

I'll look at the m-chat tonight, thanks...and sensory processing difficulties as I don't know anything about that.

He has always loved other children, watching and playing with them. When he was younger he was always wanting to play with them, when they still were at the stage of just wanting to play alone iykwim.

He has been going thru a little pushing phase (which is why I ended up discussing all this with the childminder) but has just got a star a day for a week for not pushing, so got a little present tonight smile So to me that all seems fine?

Thanks.

shellsocks Thu 28-May-15 20:44:24

The m-chat said low risk, no concern for autism which from the questions asked I could tell it was going to as socially he doesn't appear to have any problems to me, so thank you that is really good to see.

It has thrown up another question though! Can children regress and start displaying autistic behaviours? I'm just worrying as this being scared of things is getting worse so I'm wondering if he can start developing any of the signs the m-chat was asking about?

Thanks again.

fairgame Thu 28-May-15 20:54:06

Some posters have said that their children have regressed but im not sure what sort of age that was.
A lot of autistic traits are typical toddler behaviour. So things like lining up cars and parallel play are completely normal for toddlers but if a child continues with these behaviours as they get older then it can become abnormal.
From what i gather the M-CHAT is pretty accurate and DS is the right age for it so if he has scored low then i would assume that is an accurate score.
A lot of children cling on to routine as it gives them a feeling of safety and security so that could explain why he loves routine.
It might be worth speaking to your health visitor about the flapping. Sensory difficulties are usually assessed by an occupational therapist but i don't know what age they can see a child from. However your health visitor should be able to refer for an assessment or will be able to monitor it. Its worth getting your concerns recorded somewhere (either hv or gp) in case it doesn't settle down.

shellsocks Thu 28-May-15 20:59:54

Thanks again, you are being very helpful as I feel so out of my depth!

I think asking HV is a good idea and a better way to go as I hate wasting GP time. I do agree with you (and my DH) that a lot of this could just be normal behaviour, but hearing that someone externally has been wondering too has really upset me and sent my head in a bit of a spin tbh.

Thank you!

PolterGoose Thu 28-May-15 21:10:09

Have a look at these Fact Files which are a fab developmental resource.

I would definitely keep a watchful eye and do some reading, for some children they appear to become more autistic as their peers take over developmentally whereas it's more that their development is delayed and disordered and can't keep up consistently.

The chances are that now someone has raised this and you're thinking about it you will constantly be looking for signs and red flags, if ds is happy and progressing try and relax a bit, happy is the best thing. But, if you start to have niggles then trust your instinct and follow it up flowers

shellsocks Thu 28-May-15 22:56:07

Thank you, I will read through the fact file it looks very interesting at first glance.

My DH is very worried that's what will happen, I'll see things that aren't there, so I will try to relax, that's very good advice...tho maybe not tonight!

Thank you.

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