Feeling completely on my own

[florentine31]

My dd is 4 and showing traits of being on the autistic/dyspraxia spectrum. Her nursery have also expressed concern. Fortunately they and her soon to be school have been fantastic and very supportive. They have already started the ball rolling with a possible 1:1 in her class, speech and language help and possible occupational therapy.
Thankfully she absolutely loves her nursery and the structure/routine of it. Her brothers currently attend the primary school, so she is very familiar with the school too.

But as far as friends/family/husband go, no support. Dh refuses to believe anything except that she's got developmental delay. Family as well as him all think that schools etc love to label kids and if your dc doesn't tick all the right boxes they must be autistic. But........ It's so blinkin obvious that there is more to it.

I would like to pack all our things up and leave without telling anyone and never return. I am starting to really resent everyone and I'm worried that I'm going to end up cracking up. I've become a really horrible person and I don't like the way I feel.

I will love and help my dd regardless. I just wish someone could support me sometimes!

[florentine31]

Forgot to add. My dd can be challenging at times. I always feel that however I handle her, is the wrong way! 'I'm not tough enough' etc.

[Banananutella]

Argh just typed long post and it got lost
Retyping as don't want you to feel alone
I could have written your post two years ago! It has got easier.
The doubting relatives have come on board as it did become more obvious (though easier as support from school is really helping) - though they still don't support me.
DH also has come out of denial (though into depression)

I'm about to type that you should try to look after yourself - reminds me I need to do that for myself too!

And with regards to your second post see if you can get on an earlybirds course.

[Banananutella]

Sorry my attempt to rewrite my post came out wrong
What I'm trying to say is that everyone has their own reaction to the news so is in their own place in denial anger depression bargaining and acceptance.
Relatives get stuck in denial whereas the primary carer doesn't have that luxury as we are caught up in the pressing need to get the child help.
Friends literally ran away (SEN is a friend filter I heard it described on here)
A mindfullness course really helped me & counselling.

[tacal]

I felt exactly the same way you do two years ago. My ds got his diagnosis in August 2013. Everything is so much better now. Ds is settled in school and the friends and relatives who doubted me and were horrible to me are much more accepting and supportive. You need to be strong to get through this difficult time and things will get better.