ds being bullied in y7, need help please

[foreverton]

Hi everyone, this is my first post in sn, I normally post in secondary education as I went through an appeal last year which was unsuccessful.

Ds has a diagnosis of ASD, he's above average at school but struggles socially and has severe anxiety. This week he was also diagnosed with IBS.

I was advised to pull a recent thread as I apparently disclosed to much information ( by another mumsnetter ) but I was trying not to drip feed!

We lost appeal to a mixed sex, Catholic school, excellent pastoral care and ds started at our second choice school last September.

This school "requires improvement", has a pretty bad reputation but has ASD support/unit, should he need it, which is why we picked it.
It's a considerable distance away and ds gets 2 buses each way, we practised lots.

Ds started panicking over travelling around October, the buses are unreliable and the area where the school is situated is mad busy, near a motorway and the main road into the city.
He also started to change and was saying he felt unwell all the time, usually on Wednesday. I asked if anything was wrong at school, he said no.
I went to see head of year, voiced my concerns eric.

Last week I received a call from another mum, friend of ds, he told his mum they're both being bullied and its been going on since around October.

Went to see head of year, her solution is to isolate ds at lunchtime as this is mainly when the bullying is happening, there are 5/6 boys involved.

Also, one of them took pictures of ds during lessons and put them on social media with horrendous insults such as fat c**t. I was shocked that the school haven't addressed any of this.

I told them I want to move him, apply for appeal school again which is full but Will be the best school for ds for a number of reasons, mainly the Catholic element which he's so used to but also the pastoral support and proximity.

Ds is a bag of nerves, me too. The school have offered to support our in year transfer request. I went to see our parish priest who knows ds very well and he wrote a letter of support.

I am fully expecting a "no" from other school which will then give us the chance to appeal.

Any ideas how I can maximise our chances? He's recently been referred to CAHMS and is under ASD doctor who we see every 6 months.

I feel cruel sending him to school when I don't believe he's being supported and his friend was being bullied by a separate group, are the school masking the obvious bullying issue by trying to help us move?

So sorry it's long. I'm really struggling with anxiety/depression myself and this is taking its toll. Thanks for reading.

[senvet]

It is an outrage that cyber bullying like that is not being tackled by the school. For sure, the kids doing the bullying may have SEN, but they should be doing far more to protect dc and his friend.

There should be an SEN governor, who may be worth having a chat with, and the anti-bullying charities will have guide lines for school on what to do.

I can see that segregating the bullied from the bullying is sensible, but it should be those doing the bullying who should be seen to have their freedom restricted, not your dc and friend.

In terms of changing school, this would give dc a new chance and sounds sensible. If the school will let him in - make sure you meet them and explain about the cyber bullying - then I guess you may face a transport bill, but otherwise if it feels right to you it probably is right.

Good Luck

[foreverton]

Thank you so much for your reply:)
I was about to give up hope!

Just to clarify, ds is at a mainstream secondary and I asked head of year if any of the "bullies" have Sen, she said no.

She also questioned what constitutes bullying:(
Seriously- it's been going on for 6/7 months, is affecting my ds attendance, health, self esteem etc and he had lunch money taken many times( now on packed lunch) verbal abuse over weight, threats , the list is endless and ds is starting to open up more to me now that I know.

I just want to be taken seriously, ds has been through enough.
My concerns at appeal have actually happened, ds is an "easy target" due to his ASD and weight issues.

I'm trying to do everything I can to get support.
Problem is, we live in one borough and both schools are in another.

Thanks again.