Best use of DLA ?

[millimoohoo]

We have just found out my 11yr old ds has been awarded dla (he has a diagnosis of Asperger's). We are delighted but now need advice on the best way to use the money. We are worried that ds is becoming socially isolated, we are a small family and as he has got older we have noticed that friends he had around our area don't knock to play anymore (he had a huge meltdown when out playing and scared them all off !). This, coupled with a recent move from mainstream primary to a ss has added to his sense of isolation as 'friends' from ms haven't bothered with him despite me trying to maintain contact .

Broadening/maintaining his interests (he loves outdoor pursuit's, mountain biking, kayaking, hiking and is totally obsessed with trains) would be great, and meeting other children to try and establish friendships is key. Thanks

[adrianna22]

Hi OP

I can certainly relate. Have you thought about putting your DS into clubs, classes etc. if you want to broaden him in the social aspect.

Or like what PolterGoose said, put him in something that he has an interest in.

[Kleinzeit]

You can use it any way you like. Other things to consider might be one-to-one lessons for sports or activities – I know a couple of parents who use DLA for individual swim tuition. And for several years we paid a “boy-sitter” – DH and I went out for the evening and a friend of ours came and chatted to DS about interests they both shared, like Dr Who. The social interaction was good for DS (and us! )

[MedusaIsHavingaBadHairday]

Until they are 16, you can use it anyway you like :)
After 16, you CAN be asked to account for it as it is their money (even if you are the appointee and it is paid to you)

However we use DS2's for a mix of things.. some contributes to the household (as he eats, showers and leaves all the lights on) most goes towards clubs, and in his case, theatre tickets as he is obsessed with musicals, so mostly supporting his special interests! Also more shoes (his afos wear them through the sides) and anything else he needs. His DLA bought him an ipad which is his prize possession!

[senvet]

I'm guessing that his friends in his adult years - whether on line like here - or face to face, will be folk who have the same special interests.

My 20 year old relative is getting into carpentry and bushcraft, so other ASD/Aspergers friends - whatever age - who want to chat about the details of the benefits of ash over yew wood, will be there for him forever.

One of my other relatives is interested in late 19th century literature, especially the works about or by women. If only she was more internet linked, she woould have a whole new aspect to life.

At 11, mainstream peers are pretty self orientated, so he may find more friends/friendship skills among the adults with similar special interests, or among younger kids if he can help out as a junior leader at relevant clubs.
Good Luck

[millimoohoo]

Thanks for all your replies, klien I will definitely be looking into a sitter as I've hardly been through the door without him in 11 years...can't wait ! I've taken ds to clubs/activities before and he has struggled with nt kids even if they have shared similar interests and he hasn't wanted to go back. I guess I was thinking of clubs/activities specifically for children with Asperger's so he won't feel like 'the weird one' and he is keen to meet other aspie children. senvet I haven't thought of different age groups for friendships I've just been thinking of his own age so you've given me something to think about there

[senvet]

But that said I would be going for a night off if I was in your shoes...

[Tunna]

Have a nose around Google and see what ASD services are provided in your area. Round here there are special cinema showings, wall climbing & swimming nights. My DS has sensory issues so it goes towards aids & adaptations to help him with this, as well as swimming lessons & beavers to help with social skills. I'll also treat him to minecraft & pokemon books which help with his literacy as well.