Making friends - advice for Y8 AS boy

[sergeantmajor]

DS1 has mild Aspergers and is in mainstream school, Y8, aged nearly 13. He has no solid friendships although seems to be well liked. He doesn't know how to make friends and is too terrified to invite people over. I used to contact other mothers directly to make arrangements but it is too embarrassing now that all the other kids just text each other. DS hasn't turned his phone on in months!

He is very sensitive about me raising the issue. But he does need a hand. I want to set him a task like asking his friends if they're watching X-factor, or have seen a particular film or football match. Or a harder task, like inviting someone over.

I have two reservations though. Firstly, that I don't know the kids' own social etiquette, and may suggest something that will embarrass him (what if X-factor is seen as really uncool, for example?). Secondly, that I may give him more of a hang-up about his social incompetence, and make matters worse.

Any thoughts on what would be best?

[Levantine]

Would his form teacher be of any help in telling you what they are into? Any friendly mums you could ask? Or as polter suggests are there any clubs where there might be simliar kids where something might evolve more naturally?

[sergeantmajor]

I am encouraging to attend a lunchtime club that is right up his street but he has resisted going. I have asked his form teacher to remind him to go, to find him someone to go with, but he still hasn't made it there.

He doesn't want to be more social. But he does enjoy time with friends and does want friends. He does not want to be a loner but is becoming one as he hasn't got the skills.

I think I am going to muscle in there and risk upsetting the equilibrium cos its not working with the hands off approach.

[Mollyweasley]

Have you got any family friends with similar age children? What are his interest?