Apologies this is long and confused..just need to get it out

[Fool4u]

DS7 is severely autistic, also general developmental delay, can only eat liquid foods although his autism & God means this is extremely limited.. Tomato soup, custard, yoghurt, nothing solid. He's prescribed nutritiion drinks but has refused these for 3 months, resulting in extreme, but manageable weight loss. Started at a special school in September, which initially was fine but he's refused to go for the last 3 weeks.. Even the mention of school results in him becoming extremely violent, spitting, hitting, gouging etc & he's literally destroyed the house. For the last week he's had a virus, who h means he's eaten literally nothing.. If he doesn't start eating in 24hrs he's going to be hospitalised on a drip, he's skeletal. We've been down this route before & it's not pretty, he's previously ripped drips from his arm & even though we know it's necessary, the hospital won't sedate him. From a personal viewpoint I find it incredibly hard because he tells me constantly he hates me & wants another mummy & won't let me near him. This inevitably means DH shoulders the entire burden of physically looking after ds.. I meanwhile have to try & deal with our other 2 children dd(14) & ds(12) who are good kids but just want a bit of a normal life, but inevitably have normal teenage issues, which I can't deal with. We have a social worker & CAHMS involvement, but it's reached crisis point. I know that I don't help the situation, I'm dealing with my mum (my biggest support) dying of cancer, which was extremely aggressive, so undiagnosed when she died 6 months ago & I have a history of depression so I know I know I have a tendency to just want to withdraw from everything. It's just complete shit & I know there's no immediate solutions but thank you anyone who reads this, venting lightens the load somewhat

[BlackeyedSusan]

that is a lot going on. no wonder it is so difficutl. the constant worry about it all must be very draining. no wonder you want to hide.

[Fool4u]

GDD, Not God

[OneInEight]

Not surprised you need to vent that really sounds a horrible situation. and I hope your son starts eating today so you can avoid the hospital visit. Sadly, I don't have any solutions but sending lots of positive vibes in your direction.

[tempe48]

Why won't the hospital sedate him?

[Fool4u]

They've always said they won't sedate children, I have no idea why, not medically ethical?? Anyway luckily we've avoided hospital today. DS has eaten a bowl of soup, so we're hopefully back on the road to "normality"

[tempe48]

Well, they sedated DD for a MRI scan and dental treatment (special needs).

I suggest you ask the doctors why not - he has special needs. Don't be afraid of doctors. IME, many of them have no understanding of special needs whatsoever.

[tempe48]

BTW - I have every sympathy. Our family was driven to the verge of breakdown when DD was 16.

Have you considered a specialist residential school for autism for DS? It might give you all some respite, especially your other two children - and enable you all to get some energy back, so weekends and holidays are quality time with him?

[Fool4u]

Yes we are looking at the possibility of residential care for him.. It's very difficult because in our area 8 is the youngest they'll take children & I struugle with the idea of sending him away, he still seems so little. It's heartbreaking but we're also looking at foster care. I feel like the most useless, rubbish parent in the world, but realistically his issues & behaviour is ripping our family apart & we need to do what's best for all of us, especially him ??

[tempe48]

Ah sorry, I assumed he was a teenager, starting at a special secondary school. Has he just started at a special infant school?

[Fool4u]

He's just started yr 3