Does anyone else feel relieved that their child(ren) has been put in special needs in mainstream comp?

[oen1]

After years of being told at primary school that my DS needs to work harder, needs to concentrate more, needs to learn his times tables, needs to spell better.............. and after endless meetings with class teachers over the years, national test results pointing quite obviously to a learning difficulty, a completely useless senco (who lost referral forms to EP amongst other things); 2 years of anxiety, loss of self esteem and feelings of inadequacy, my son is now in year 7 in a mainstream comprehensive. I met with the senco there last night, who told me that there is obviously a problem (reading age matching actual age, but spelling at 4 years younger amongst other things), that tests will be carried out over the coming months and that in the meantime he will be placed in a special needs class where he will get the extra support he needs.

I can't even begin to tell you how relieved I am that at last his learning needs are being identified after being made to feel by the primary school that I was an absolutely crap mother because he couldn't spell etc. His year 6 teacher told me that it is the parent's responsibility to ensure that their children can spell and do times tables etc. Talk about passing the buck.

What I want to know though is am I unusual in feeling this way? When DS was very small, I had the usual dreams for him that he would fly through school, achieving well in everything (I don't mean top of the class, but just not having any major problems), but now I feel almost perversely pleased that the school have recognised there's a problem. At the same time, I want to cry over the fact that DS is always going to find school work hard.

Does anyone else feel this way?

[bjkmummy]

hopefully the new school will be able to pinpoint what has been causing him to struggle and then with the right interventions there is no reason why he cant reach his full potential. sounds like you have found a really good secondary school. it is frustrating though that all his difficulties in primary school have just basically been ignored. secondary schools do seem to be much better when it comes to kids who need a bit of extra help

[oen1]

A few people have told me in RL that secondary's are much better at supporting the children who need the extra help. I just feel, with the primary, that they just kept putting off getting him the help that he needed, so that they wouldn't have to do extra work/give him extra support.

Hopefully, the secondary will continue to be supportive, and he'll continue to be happy there.

[tempe48]

I think the bottom line is that secondary schools have a bigger SEN budget.

As for the OP, IMO it is a relief when somebody gives a label to sum all the difficulties, we knew were there all along - but did not know what they were!

[Ineedmorepatience]

I have wondered about this alot lately and a thought I had was :

If the secondaries dont support the children who are struggling and within a couple of years those children are hormonal teenagers who are the size of adults they are going to have an awful lot of crap to sort out!!!

Just a thought !

[troutsprout]

Yep... The relief was huge! It took me a while to actually believe it was going to be ok
Ds had a hideous time at primary school
Secondary school by contrast, was brill. He wasn't ridiculed or put down or made to feel bad about himself. He was encouraged, valued and enjoyed . He was truly a part of the community rather than ostracised.

[Ineedmorepumpkins]

Yes trout Dd feels valued too, she has always tried her very best at school and it has often gone un noticed or taken for granted that because she is verbally able that she "should" be able to produce high quality work.

So far at secondary her difficulties have been recognised and she has been rewarded for her effort, so much so that she has won the class prize for the number of rewards earned this half term!!!

She hasn't won a prise at school since reception where she also had a teacher who really understood her issues.

Well done secondaries, give yourselves a pat on the back from us

[oen1]

DS has already changed into a different child since starting in September. I was dreading it, thinking the anxiety would escalate, but for the first time in over 3 years, he doesn't cry himself to sleep or wake up with nausea or stomach ache, does his homework and organises himself. It's an absolute pleasure to see the difference in him. He's even helping some friends with their homework.

Ineedmorepumpkins, DS loves showing me the reward stamps he's collecting for doing well in various subjects - there was nothing like that in primary. He's really excited to come home and show me each new one and can't wait to fill the page so that he gets a prize. He feels so much more valued, even though he's still so far behind most of his peers.

Another pat on the back for secondaries from me