Not a great start to school... can anyone reassure me?

[PassTheProsecco]

My child is 4, and started MS school in September statemented with a full time 1:1.

He does not have learning disabilities but has has a complex neurological condition which can affect him in lots of different ways, including making him very challenging behaviourally at times.

After a reasonable (albeit slightly mixed, not without issue) first few weeks he had an awful few days last week culminating in him basically ending up totally out of control- amongst other things he had kicked a teacher, sworn at a TA, and was rolling around the floor trying to kick over a table when I got there to pick him up (I was pulled into a meeting with several teachers to discuss it all).

He has had a run of 4 much better days in class now, three great ones and one a bit mixed but nothing too dreadful or way out of the ordinary for his age group. (I know he isn't the only child who has been timed out for hitting and being silly, they are all 4 year olds finding their feet during a big change after all).

Dropped him off this morning and he was all over the place- unfocused, impulsive, angry :( He almost looks as though he has been drugged. I know it is going to be another challenging day at school and to be honest I feel sick about going to pick him up, dreading hearing about whatever misdemeanors he'll have marked against him today. We have dropped a few afternoons to see if it helps, so at least he only has a few hours there today.

After a fairly great summer holidays behaviourally I know deep down that a lot of the current issues are down to the school transition, but I have been worrying myself sick over the whole thing. The last few weeks have been emotionally exhausting and very hard work as he has been difficult at home too.

He's a lovely bright little boy at heart and I can't remember a time that he has struggled as badly with his behaviour. I'm terrified he is going to end up excluded from MS on the basis that he is a risk to other children and staff :(

I'm praying that he settles down soon :(

The school have been great- really engaged him in great reward systems and made a massive fuss of him when he has behaved well. They've been great with me too... but already there have been comments made by the SENCO that suggest to me that they don't feel they will be able to keep him there if things don't improve. I have NO idea what on earth we will do if that happens :(

Just wondered if anyone had any similar tricky school transition experiences that they could share? Part of me thinks I seriously need to chill out, manage my own expectations of him during this period, and ride it out... but another part of me wonders if I need to be looking into alternatives if they do end up excluding him.


Any advice or hugs welcomed! For the first time ever I feel as though his condition is really starting to take it's toll on my health too, which is no good for any of us :(

[PassTheProsecco]

Thanks PolterGoose xx

Downloaded The Explosive Child on my Kindle this morning funnily enough, having read other threads in which it was recommended. Plan to sit with a nice hot chocolate in this evening for a read once the kids are in bed.

You have summed up my son well- he knows how to behave, he just loses himself totally. On days where he isn't too badly affected he is quite easy to motivate with rewards and praise, he thrives on it, but on bad days you are wasting your breath... things just end up escalating.

[fairgame]

I don't really have any advice but i can offer a hand hold. My DS has just started at a new ss and he is struggling with transition. He is very up and down with his behaviour at the moment, he is having some horrendous days but then a few very good days. He has always struggled with change so i know he will eventually settle but it just takes time. They've only been back a month so it's still early days, they just need time.

[PassTheProsecco]

Thanks Fairgame x

I'm sure you are right, it will hopefully just be a matter of time. He had a good morning overall this morning which was a relief given his state of mind when I dropped him off. He has looked really tired this afternoon so I think the decision to drop a few afternoons was the right one.

Only one more day to get through until the weekend...

A hug for you too xx

[SystemId]

Have hope it will get better :-)
It did for us in similar circumstances - just with time and familiarity

Term 3 of reception was totally different to term 1

Dropping a few afternoons helped us too - less tired (Four is young!)