Feel like crying and helpless

[DontstepontheMomeRaths]

DS was diagnosed with ASD in June. It took 18 months. The Autism Advisory Service were meant to be coming into School to give advice on helping him in school.

They haven't heard anything yet.

My DS is high functioning and because most of the time he can manage himself, (although he lets it out at home more) I think they're not taking enough note of his needs.

He's had two incidences this week where it's all got too much in school and he's had a meltdown.

I'm having a meeting with HT to discuss strategies. Please help me. I don't know what to do, or if there's a good helpline. I know there's 30 in a class and they can't spend all their time watching and supporting him but he needs help.

This week his usual teacher has been ill, the supply sounds shouty and he's full of cold. It is a recipe for a meltdown and it's getting to the stage that he's being labelled as naughty/ difficult and I feel other kids are gossiping to others in different years and to their parents. Although there's little I can do about that.

Please help

[BlackeyedSusan]

did he melt down in school or at home?

[BlackeyedSusan]

or worse in the playground with lots of parents watching with cats bum faces...

[DontstepontheMomeRaths]

School

Shouting and shouting and shouting and the teachers not being able to reason with him. He said today he kept crying for me.

[BlackeyedSusan]

ask for visual timetable. warning that there is going to be a supply teacher in school. (two days of supply teachers, two days of meltdowns)

being able to go out of the classroom and somewhere quiet if appropriate.

has he got an IEP or is there something new now... not caught up yet.

[BlackeyedSusan]

of course they will not be able to reason with him, that is adding fuel to the fire. they need to remove him to somewhere quiet.

[DontstepontheMomeRaths]

What's an iep?

[Bilberry]

Unfortunately a diagnosis doesn't automatically lead to help. The system is also set up to respond to failure, not to pre-empt it. So, in a way it was 'good' he had a meltdown at school. It shows the school that his needs are not currently being met. Write these incidents in a diary and add any others when they occur. I am not sure how procedures have changed since September but as a first step I would speak to the school SENCO about what help he needs.

[OneInEight]

It is a sign that he needs support at school so try and set up a meeting with the class teacher and SENCO as soon as possible.

For ds1 and ds2 behaviour like this is a sign they are very anxious and stressed so anything school can do to reduce that stress will help e.g. timetables, advanced warning of changes, support during group work, support at breaks or lunchtimes, pragmatics sessions, reassurance when he is doing things right, working outside the class if it is too noisy etc.

They may suggest anger management but this was not terribly effective with ds1 and ds2 I think because it is tacking the effect rather than the cause.

Appropriate support at school makes a huge difference to ds1 and ds2.

I also learnt to keep ds1 and ds2 off when they were under par with colds etc as they usually had a disastrous day if they went in like this. Difficult I know if you are working.

[DontstepontheMomeRaths]

Thank you oneineight, I should have kept him off. My boss is very understanding. And a diary sounds like a good idea.

Please keep ideas coming. I'm so new to this and do not understand the system nor know enough on what to do to help him in school.

His class teacher is the school senco but she's been off sick all week.

[BlackeyedSusan]

ds stays off school for something that I would send dd in for, depending on how he is coping. if he is resorting to violence while under the weather he needs to stay home.

[DontstepontheMomeRaths]

He's not hurting other children just shouting and not calming down when triggered.