Ds1 constant touching, hitting, biting, poking

[MerryMarigold]

OK, so not constantly, but when he is stressed it is almost continuous. He is 8, nearly 9. We are still chasing a diagnosis of something, anything to explain various things. It became very pronounced when we went away on holiday, which he found quite stressful (last time we travelled like this, he was 4.5 and managed fine).

He is also stressed by meals/ food/ eating so it would be like this whilst waiting and during all meals. He does not do it to himself but whoever is near him. I had to sit next to him and absorb most of it as it would drive his siblings crazy. But to be honest, it drove me a bit crazy too. I was constantly telling him to keep his hands to himself. He would sit on them for a bit and then it would start again. Even if he had something in his hands, eg. we were playing cards, he would put them down and start the poking, hitting etc. It was worse if he didn't have anything to do, eg. sitting in a car.

Does this ring any bells for anyone?

[MerryMarigold]

Thanks Poltergoose. Yes, definitely seems to be linked to anxiety - so much worse when anxious. But it seems to also have got worse generally (maybe habit now). Can you tell me the names of any specific things you have to help? I need to get some stuff I think as it is only getting worse not better. Does your ds have a diagnosis? My ds did the Listening Programme which is supposed to be good for sensory processing, but it didn't help.

[OneInEight]

ds1 is much better in this respect if he can do lots of bouncing on a trampoline. He has a large outdoor one if the weather is good enough but also a little indoor one that he can use as an alternative. We even take the indoor one away on holiday with us (luckily we have a car with a very large boot). Other than this "tangle" toys have been useful although not particularly durable and we also normally separate the ds's in the car by letting ds1 sit in front and ds2 in the back to reduce the poking etc a bit.

[MerryMarigold]

We have a trampo, which he doesn't go on much. Certainly not today!

Thanks for links, Polter.

[theDudesmummy]

Thanks for the link to those fact Files, very helpful especially the calming one

[MerryMarigold]

Ordered a couple of toys from ebay - koosh ball and a stretchy mouse with cheese. Fact files were great, though slightly overwhelming as he has nearly all the issues (apart from speaking). It is encouraging to see the things he already does a lot of, but probably need to do some other things. He hates it if it's not something he wants to do. (Football and riding a bike are acceptable!). He can't tie laces or use a knife and fork. There were a lot of exercises on there to help that, but whether I can get him to do them is another question.

The calming one was good. It's really hard when he is stressed and behaving like this, to stay calm myself. Ends up a bit of a vicious circle with me telling him to stop, and him not stopping and me getting annoyed.

[Flook76]

Oh I recognise this too!
Been to a bouncy castle party today (SO stressful!) DS was so desperate to go and did really well for the first half an hour but then the hitting and poking started.
My trouble is then trying to remove him from the situation - he clearly needs to be removed as it's making his anxious, but he's also over-excited so when I try and remove him it's impossible - he runs off!
Has anyone got any tips for this - how to remove him safely to stop the hitting and poking of other children?
Sorry to hi-jack your thread but this is one of the biggest issues we have with DS.
(He's started Y1 next week and I have told teacher she might need to think about desk placement)

[theDudesmummy]

Based on reading that info I ordered this and it arrived today. Looks like he will really find it calming!
www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00DOSJCC2/ref=pe_385721_37038051_TE_3p_dp_1?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21