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SN children

saw paedatrician today

19 replies

suedenley · 12/09/2006 18:00

He says son has school phobia and needs to have meeting with jat to work out a programme of a shorter week aiming a reintergration when DS feels more comfortable or able to cope anyone heard of or been through this before please .I feel much better just for the fact that he was listening to me and has come up with something which may help and not fobbed me off like some paranoid over protective mother .

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suedenley · 12/09/2006 19:03

sorry to bump myself up just wondered if anyone had heard of or had to deal with school phobia before please

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ilovecaboose · 12/09/2006 19:06

My mum has worked with a couple of school phobic children (she works as a private tutor for the hospital education service). She works with them for a couple of hours a day, 5 days a week so they are still receiving their education.

One she got integrated back into school. The child used to go with my mum for one lesson (this was at secondary level) and my mum would sit outside and wait and then take her home after it. Eventually she went back to school full time.

DOn't know if that was the kind of info you were looking for.

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suedenley · 12/09/2006 19:15

Yes it is ilovecaboose
Do you know if your mum helped to find the route cause as consultant said its like looking for a needle in a haystack as its usually the last thing they will talk about, but i think i can remember when he started hating school it was in yr 1 and he used to have nightmares and mess the bed because he was petrified of the green room ,even though he never went in he was threatened with it for being "naughty" .Is it possible he associates that fear and bad feeling with school and thats resulted in the phobia do you think ?

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ilovecaboose · 12/09/2006 19:43

Could be - unfortunately my mum handled the education side only, so can't really help sorry but this should bump it for you.

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jenk1 · 14/09/2006 09:00

suedenley, my DS is classed as "school phobic" or a "school refuser" i hate both terms as i know that with DS its his AS that makes him fear school.

Is your DS back in school now?
You can ask for him to go in part time or if you keep him at home as a result of him not being able to go in then the LEA have to provide 5 hours of tuition per week (hmm, not that DS gets 5 hours though).
Its brilliant that you have the consultant on board, when our consultant backed us up it got rid of the Waggy woman off our back, she was threatening us with court action.
Can you get your consultant to write a letter to the LEA confirming that your DS does suffer from severe anxiety brought on by the school situation and that they can accept that as like a "sick note" in effect.
I know of families where the child with an ASD has had education at home provided by the LEA for many years so its something that they will do if the medical back up is there, they will always try to get your DS back into school, they are trying to do this with us at the moment but we are standing firm as they are not offering any support for DS going back to school.
A brilliant website to go on is krism.org.uk, that is for parents of children with an ASD and there are many people on there going through what you are now, i got all my help and info from a couple of parents on there.
Are IPSEA involved because if not you could do with getting them on board, they are brill and will tell you what you are entitled to and when the LEA are trying to pull the wool over your eyes.

HTH

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suedenley · 14/09/2006 17:19

hi jenk
Thankyou for your message
yes consultant is being brilliant and sending a letter to the education welfare officer ,who when i rang him to tell him DS would not be in school as had been diagnosed as "school phobic " wanted to know how consultant had come to that diagnosis when school said he was very happy at school just had some behaviour problems !!!! um yeah cos he doesnt want to be there and hes been forced to go, he really got my back up said i have to make a diary for him to see what the difficulties in getting him to school are ,but i feel that hes being patronizing and trying to blame me so he will have to take that one up with the consultant if he is unhappy with the diagnosis
saw school nurse yesterday and she spent an hour with ds she said its unbelievable that school have let him go so long with no support as ds is really struggling and in her opion is classic autism rather than asperger he has no conception that he is supposed to be there to learn and has no understanding of hierarchy he is shut of to anything other than his interests i could tell he was he was very agitated to be in the school because he had to hop everywhere he had no eye contact at all and spent session rocking and putting blocks into symetrical piles .She was really angry that DS was being treated this way especially since ive been in so much asking them to do something. she is today organising ed phych paedatrician senco head class teacher and the lea to have an urgent meeting with me and im taking key worker for support so fingers crossed. Again today head offered us the chance to move school.
Any ideas on things to ask for and what to reasonably expect will ring IPSEA tomorrow as closed at the mo .

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beckybrastraps · 14/09/2006 17:37

Hi Suedenley.
I've been involved in trying to introduce a school phobic child back into school. It was at secondary level, and the child had been absent from school for some years. His elder siblings had also gone through it. Unfortunately, it wasn't successful. The child had had a very long period of absence spanning the transition from primary to secondary, so we were essentially trying to "re"introduce him to a situation he had never experienced. The consultant psychiatrist did not consider mainstream education to be the best setting for his education, and the school agreed, although it did support the re-integration progamme as that was what the parents requested. The ed psych was pretty useless. The child was not diagnosed with an ASD. He came in for parts of the day, worked one-to-one with an LSA, first in a quiet classroom, and later in the library, where other classes were working, although he was not involved in those classes. The re-introduction was gradual, and he had 1 to 1 LSA support, but could not succesfully join a class or move through the corridors with other children. This sounds very negative, but as I said, it was a very established condition by the time he came to the school. Early intervention may well be more succesful. Does he have a statement, and if so what cover that give? You need to push for maximum hours. It is a very staff-heavy procedure. I really hope he gets what he needs.

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beckybrastraps · 14/09/2006 17:39

Move to what kind of school? Another MS? What do you want?

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suedenley · 14/09/2006 18:01

hi becky
Yes they want him to move to another mainstream in the year leading up to his transfer to high school which is just way to much change for him. I would like him to go to a special school where the staff understand him and there are the relevant staff available but he doesnt have a statement the school wouldnt back that and the lea dont need much of an excuse to turn you down as far as i can see, he isnt even on school action plus yet although they were due in in march but they cancelled on the day of his assessment and no sign of them since.
School asked what would help DS to come to school and make him feel better he said

to be able to eat lunch away from hall

to be able to see his lsa each day

to do more art

to have a place to go to make him feel safe when hes stressed

and have no one shout at him

and to put detinators on the bullies so he can blow them up

head said all toms requests were unobtainable with the exception of blowing up the bullies i dont see why the other things cant be put in place if it means getting him to school and making him feel happier seems much easier than having to emply home tutors and and start a re intergration programme .

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Saturn74 · 14/09/2006 18:09

My DS2 was labelled as 'school phobic', to which I pointed out that a phobia is an 'irrational fear'. School holds very real fears for some children, so please don't let anyone diminish your sons' genuine concerns underneath a label (and one that I consider inaccurate and patronising). I also feel this label puts all the responsibilty on the child and the parent - but the school also have a large part to play in ensuring that your son feels safe and understood at school. Sorry, bit of a rant, but this is a subject that brings out my defensive side, and I'm sure you already know all the above info!

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beckybrastraps · 14/09/2006 18:18

suedenley - does he have an AS diagnosis? Because a child with an ASD and school phobia without a statement is ridiculous. (And I do appreciate the comments about the term school phobia, but as that is the diagnosis, that is the term to use on the paperwork).

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suedenley · 14/09/2006 18:29

hi humphreycushion
Yes the label is patronizing but as the school my son goes to dont do anything without confirmation ,they dont do anything without either but at least they cant fine me or send me to prison because of it so for that i will accept it.
im not going to let them put the blame on my son or myself as hes not home phobic, hes desperatly unhappy at school, bullied and lonely struggling with the whole school environment and ive repeatedly asked for help given them detailed info on my son and they have done nothing to improve the situation so they will be made quite aware where the blame lies im so mad its come to this and they have put him and my family in this position .
dont be blushing for the rant HumphreyCushion i know where your coming from im the rant queen lol nothing else works like schools and getting support for special needs

if someone wins a law suit for something thats happened to them it opens the flood gates for everyone else to get what they are entitled to
with special needs your fight and mine wont help anyone else and that makes me sooo angry

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Saturn74 · 14/09/2006 18:36

I agree, SD. There must be thousands of families all having individual battles, and being treated appallingly by the school, the LEA and the whole education system.

It breaks my heart to think of all the children who are not getting the appropriate education to which they are fully entitled.

All the best to you and your family - keep us up-to-date with how you get on.

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suedenley · 14/09/2006 18:47

yes becky
diagnosed with asperger syndrome co-morid adhd gets dla and has a key worker from social services yet school feel his needs dont require a statement another boy in the class has a statement and has a one to one when i applied for a statement myself the year head said

if you persist in going for a statement then the support teacher he borrows at the moment will be taken away and your son will be worse off !!!!!!

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jenk1 · 14/09/2006 23:15

Suedenley,
No no no to making a diary for the EWO.
He is trying it on, believe me, been there done that, so you have told them that your son is school phobic
Step 1, "we need medical proof", so you give it them.
Step 2, "how has the Paed come to that conclusion", classic classic behaviour from the Waggie man.
Step 3, "the letter is too vague, we need another one", Suedenly these EWO,s main purpose if to get your DS back into school, they have something like a 93% ratio that they have to adhere to in getting children back to school, they are not interested in your DS situation although they pretend to be.
Dont go running around in circles because thats what i did and it exhausted me and i had a nervous breakdown.
There is absolutely nothing they can do now, you have a consultant who is saying that your DS has school phobia.
DONT BE FOOLED by them.
If he cannot go in and you can keep him at home (dont know what your circumstances are) then there is nothing that they can do.
Put in for an assessment straightaway if you havent done already, and the next time the WAG man mithers you just fob him off, they will use every single trick in the book.
When i found out that our WAG officer was having us run around in circles i called her bluff and told her that i knew my rights and that she could threaten all she liked, she started screaming at me on the phone that it wasnt up to me to tell her her job so i put the phone down on her and requested a new WAGGIE and got a lady who is much better.
Make sure you put everything in writing and if they are saying we will do this and that get tell them to put it in writing, - they will run a mile, as soon as they realise that you know your rights and that IPSEA are involved they hate it.
Keep your chin up and keep posting.

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suedenley · 14/09/2006 23:37

thanks jenk
i figured they were trying it on from now i wont speak to him he can deal with consultant and keyworker also now have school nurse on side and she seems to have a fair bit of clout and the right connections as everything is full steam ahead and school are a bit scared i think, the head rang earlier said she cant help unless DS comes back to school and that he has plenty of support as he has full time class room assistant ??????? no he doesnt thats the support for another boy they are covering there backs DS says she helped him once but she is always busy with other child as she should be he has a full statement and shes employed for him when i pointed this out to head she said "yes but we dont like the children to become dependent so share the support around ??????

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jenk1 · 14/09/2006 23:59

yes you are right to bypass the EWO, bypass the head as well if thats her attitude as they try different tactics to get your DS back in.
Refer the EWO to the consultant if he starts.
You need to arrange a multi discliplinary meeting between all the professionals including your DS consultant, they wont refuse to believe him face to face believe me.
Your consultant can get your DS home tuition once he has been out of school for 15 days as well.

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suedenley · 15/09/2006 09:13

Thanks jenk
the meeting is to take place at 10 45 on tues and im waiting for ipsea to open to get there advice on my rights .Keep your fingers crossed for us i will let you know how it goes
Really appreciate all the advice youve given me.

sue x

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suedenley · 15/09/2006 12:57

I remember someone telling me once to ask school for ds records and as this big meeting coming up thought now was a good time they didnt seem to happy about it though and said they will get back to me later to see if thats poss surely its my right ?

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