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How do others cope with an angry child.

9 replies

macwoozy · 16/08/2006 11:13

My ds's anger is just getting out of control. We can't go anywhere without him growling, shouting or hitting others. As soon as other children laugh at him, which happens often because unintentionally he's always coming out with strange and funny comments, he gets angry, the angrier he gets the more they laugh. I feel guilty because I turned down the help offered by CAMHS, and now I've got one very angry boy on my hands. How do others cope with a volatile child? Social stories are of no help because his anger just takes over, and it seems he's incapable of bringing to mind anything we've previously spoken about. Sometimes he can erupt just because he doesn't like the way a child looks at him, whenever I take him anywhere I just know it's going to end in tears.

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giddy1 · 16/08/2006 14:17

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macwoozy · 16/08/2006 17:27

Yes it is stressful, at the moment I'm avoiding all parks because of his aggressive behaviour, although he's not losing out because I've managed to book quite a few sessions at his SN playsheme.

Giddy how lovely for you to see your dd1 kissing your little one, if only we could always capture these special moments on video.

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Chocol8 · 19/08/2006 23:35

Hi Macwoozy, my ds went to CAMHS for a few years on and off for his anger. He does seem a little better now, but still has his moments. I think a big part of his improvement has come with age (nearly 9yrs) as at least he can vocalise what is bothering him now and couldn't before. Could you not ask to be referred to CAMHS again? It will take a while, but it may be worth it.

Awwww, at Giddy1's dd, that picture will stay with me as it sounds like the sort of thing ds does. He cried at the nervous boy in X-Factor today - real sobbing. He's a softie under all that bravado really.

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Davros · 20/08/2006 18:32

I would certainly try to get referred again to CAHMS. What are they going to say, "no"? I don't think so, we parents are allowed to change our minds and go back to professionals and also our situations change. Have you considered medication, that could happen through CAHMS but might not be necessary?
Have you heard of a book from the NAS called "When My Autism Gets Too Big for Me"? I have a friend who has an angry child with ASD and he now tells her he wants her to calm down to a number 6 level when she's stressed!
Giddy, lovely!

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macwoozy · 21/08/2006 14:34

His paed mentioned medication but was keen to try the GF/CF diet first, which I did but it didn't yield any real positive results. So maybe it's time to look into the possibility of medication. I'll certainly consider going back to CAMHS, although that does feel me with dread, as I just didn't see eye to eye with the last Psych, she just made me feel totally useless.

Choco8, Yes that's the problem with my ds, if only he could just explain why he's angry instead of just growling in someones face, good to hear that your ds is coping a bit better now.

Thanks Davros for suggesting that book, I've managed to get it on Amazon Marketplace, it sounds like just the type of help I need

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Davros · 21/08/2006 19:27

Just received this info too. I'm not sure if these are info sheets you can download or something you have to buy. They might be useful:

New publications from the NAS this month include:

'Exploring feelings: cognitive behaviour therapy to manage anger';
'Exploring feelings: cognitive behaviour therapy to manage anxiety': a
structured programme developed by Tony Attwood, a leading expert on
Asperger syndrome.

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butty · 22/08/2006 09:39

hi macwoozy,

sorry youre having all these problems again, and i can fully understand what you are going through.

Chloe is getting much worse and we cant go anywhere with out one of her fits, and now she is beginning to do it with her friends, things are pretty tough.

All i can say is i hope things do get better for you and in the meantime i will pop back when i can to look over this thread to see if any words of advise.

Take care.

Butty.xxx

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jenk1 · 22/08/2006 10:11

BUTTY!!!!!!
where have you been, ive been thinking about you

Sorry for the hijack

My DS is very angry most of the time, we cannot take him most places anymore as people either laugh at him which makes him worse or tell us that we should be discliplining him.
Its really hard to know what is the best thing to do, i tried CAMHS but we didnt see eye to eye either, we get most of our help from our private psych which i know is not an option for a lot of people.
What we do with DS is have very strict timetables and he has a set of keys with pecs symbols on to tell us when he,s angry, im not telling you anything you dont already know though am i?
I do sympathise with you as its so hard.

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macwoozy · 22/08/2006 17:55

Thanks again Davros, I'll check those out as well

Sorry to hear that Buttysame goes with my ds, he can react like that to anyone, strangers or family and friends, it makes no difference. Whenever there are children around I'm always on guard, anticipating anything that could upset ds, which seems to be an awful lot these days. His EP who has watched his behaviour at school reckons he hasn't learnt to cope with his frustrations and anxiety, but sometimes I can't even see any triggers that could lead to his aggresiveness in the first place.

Jenk, same again with my ds, children laugh at him which he can't tolerate one bit resulting in the sort of behaviour I described. Close family know never to laugh at anything he says, which is sometimes difficult because he can make such unintentionally funny comments. He also can't understand the difference when either people laugh at him, or laugh with him when he's being amusing, either way they get a nasty reaction from him.

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