I've been looking at the "Asperkids" book and the Unwritten Rules of Friendship Book to try to get tips on helping ds2, who now has subtle social problems.
It's parent-teacher evening tomorrow so I've been thinking in particular about what I can expect a busy teacher to spot and help with (bearing in mind that teachers are not on the playground). So far I came up with....
- voice modulation. DS2 over-modulates his voice (it used to be his key way in to understanding language.....) so he sounds like a Simpsons character. His voice is strident/screechy. I'm going to ask his teacher to help him work on using the same loudness level as the person talking to him.
- Not being the policeman. I heard a sports coach pick up on and repeat DS2's complaints about bad behaviour in a class back to the class and I winced thinking, Oh no, don't encourage him! I'm going to ask teacher to help him understand that when there is an authority figure in the room he shouldn't do the discipline himself....
- I'd love some advice help on a poor strategy he now has which is to interrupt, calling the other child by name, be a bit ignored, and so interrupt again, a bit louder.... then do it again until he gets attention.... Hmm, perhaps one to work on more at home? Eight years of encouraging a child to talk can make you overlook this behaviour at home perhaps.....
He is also into entertaining his peers with mild physical clowning as a way of being accepted. Not a terrible strategy, but there are better ones... He said that his cubs group "think I'm awesome, and if I didn't make those noises they wouldn't think I was awesome". I have a vague memory of being a verbal "entertainer" myself at a similar age. I had no fallback once others were ready to move on!
I would love to talk with anyone else who is trying to help their child with social skills, whether at a more or less advanced level. And would love any tips or thoughts about DS2.