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ASD and being unable to make decisions

(32 Posts)
bundaberg Tue 22-Oct-13 19:05:17

has anyone else got any experience of this?

just had a horrible experience in a book shop with ds1 (age 8.5) who had been given a book token.

there were 2 books he wanted to look for, but they didn't have either.
he was unwilling to see if they could order one in.
and then we just spent ages going round in circles... he wanted a book, there were no books he wanted. we looked at literally EVERY book in there. tried to get him to narrow it down to maybe info book or fiction, nope.
we took a break to go and have coffee and a think about it.
he was not willing to just leave it for another day, but he was utterly incapable of choosing something he would like

he was sat on the floor saying he wished he would die, and how awful it all was...

any ideas? we've had similar before when spending birthday money when he hasn't known in advance what he would like.
not quite sure how to approach it as he WANTS to go and do these things, but once in a shop it just goes wrong

claw2 Wed 23-Oct-13 09:59:20

I sometimes wonder about an element of OCD, particularly in ds's lining up of pokemon cards and tins they come in. He lines them up, no one is allowed to touch them, if they get touched by accident, he has to start the whole ritual again. The cards are always laid out in exactly the same order, exactly the same number of rows and extremely precisely, if one is not straight next time he looks, he will start again.

I know lining up is typical ASD, im just not sure if ds's lining up goes a bit beyond that. Anyone else find this?

DoYourKegels Wed 23-Oct-13 11:01:41

Oh, thank you so much for posting about this! thanks thanks thanks

<breathes a sigh of relief>

DoYourKegels Wed 23-Oct-13 11:30:48

My son is like this. He has a lot of money saved up because he doesn't know what he wants to buy...that is the good side to it. grin He'll be wealthy in the bank but look like a pauper because he won't know how to shop, despite my trying to teach him.

Do you know, I get stuck too...I have to send links to my husband to do the final purchase of things we need because I just get freaked out. I do have some ASD traits but I'm pretty sure I'm not ASD. For me, it is more anxiety about making the wrong decision.

MariaNoMoreLurking Wed 23-Oct-13 13:33:42

Keepon, was the score in his other tests (guessing had celf-4 etc?) ok in comparison to the tops-3? DS hasn't had the tops-3, and only the pragmatics score was low, but in his day-to-day communication he 'sounds' very like how you describe your ds1

KeepOnKeepingOn1 Wed 23-Oct-13 14:01:30

His CELF subtest for USP was 1st percentile (APD) but the others were described as surprisingly good as were his ACE subtests.

Ironically the TOPs was done by an LA appointed SALT prior to tribunal hearing. She showed DS1 a photo and asked a question. For example, a picture of children singing on stage with microphones. The SALT says 'these children were chosen to sing - how were they chosen'? The correct answer is not 'how the hell would I know' or 'because they have microphones'.

bundaberg Wed 23-Oct-13 19:32:15

the stupid thing is, i really struggle with decisions too, so i ought to be able to understand him... and yet I still can't

it's kind of nice to know we're not alone, and yet sad that we're all going through this stress!

Kleinzeit Wed 23-Oct-13 21:26:51

Similar problem with my DS, though not quite the same. For a long time I couldn’t take him into a toyshop or bookshop at all, not to buy nor to browse, he just found all the "stuff" too overwhelming. Then I could take him into a shop if he already knew exactly what he wanted, we got it, bought it and left. Round about age 13 he started to be able to cope with taking a token into a shop and looking at things and either choosing something or leaving if there was nothing he wanted, and he also started to browse computer games shops. And a few days ago – aged 15! - we’d gone to a shopping mall to get him swimming trunks and then he decided to go into a games shop, browse the shelves and choose a game. Success! smile So no real suggestions, just an experience that it can improve with age.

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