Here some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.

Help me understand what is going on with ds - exhausted

(8 Posts)
CyberKing Fri 30-Aug-13 10:34:34

So ds is 7.5 years a sensory seeker, pead thinks adhd doesn't see any asd still awaiting CAHMS. The summer holidays have been difficult but since school went back (Scotland) ds has changed yet again. In 2 weeks since returning ds is visibly unhappy every day, walking high on his toes, arms up in defensive position, incredibly grumpy and emotional, my previous sensory seeking eater who was obsessed with food all his life to the point of eating off the ground doesn't want to eat at all and is becoming increasing controlling with his food. Eg - no food on the plate is allowed to touch each other, fish shaped fish fingers were the wrong shape, pasta Bolognese wouldn't be eaten with penne only spaghetti, mash was too 'sticky' wouldn't eat sausages I cut or him because they had touched my mash knife, everything must be eaten with tomato sauce and eaten in groups one at a time bean sauce is not allowed to touch anything etc

He is also waking at night again with major anxiety when he needs to clear his throat or saying his head, stomach, eye something hurts, this used to happen nightly but we thought he was passed it, he also wet the bed for he first time in 6 months or more. Last night he literally screamed from 3am until 7-30am as he couldn't sleep didn't care everyone else was tired

I've spoken to him about school everything seems fine although he says its noisy, spoke to his class teacher today and she said she was shocked and that ds is fine and doing great In class, I'm so confused, exhausted and feeling like I cant cope with him any more just when we think things are improving its like we take a giant step a year or more backwards and only we can see it!

We cant leave the house with him because he runs off, screams, misbehaves, doesn't learn from consequences, he doesn't have any friends although he speaks to everyone he meets and will play with someone who 10 minutes ago was horrid to him, the older he gets the more he is being walked over by others his age

Thank you if you have read this far and can give any advice at all sad

PolterGoose Fri 30-Aug-13 11:41:39

It sounds like a lot of sensory stuff going on that strongly relates to anxiety, it's really hard because anxiety makes sensory problems worse and then the sensory assault increases anxiety confused

My ds is very sensory defensive (some sensory seeking too) and I found this book really helped me understand. Have you seen an OT? If not do push for it, it has been brilliant for my ds.

I also found Dawn Huebner's What to do when you worry too much very effective - it's a short CBT workbook/programme you can do at home.

2boysnamedR Fri 30-Aug-13 11:42:35

Can you phone the pead up and get them to talk to you over the phone? I have done this three times when at my wits end. She calls me back for a chat and has brought appointments forward / made a new appointment twice because of my concerns. Seems like dynamics are changing and he needs these problems to be taken into view.

CyberKing Fri 30-Aug-13 13:08:29

Im going to look out the details for the pead later (got ds2 at my feet at the mo) she has only seen ds1 once she spoke to me and thought he sounded asd but after seeing him for about 15 mins she announced he is most likely adhd and too sociable for asd he is VERY sociable, but not in a good way so not got much hope for useful advice. I don't understand why the sudden switch in behaviour from constantly eating to not eating I don't recognise this in him at all. The school just called to say ds was in tears as he didn't want to go swimming, I tried explaining that he is scared of water dislikes bathes, hairwashing even rain sometimes! and she still didn't get it and insisted he go next week, I am actually WTF?!

He was discharged from OT 2 years ago without so much as a meeting with me he got lost in the system then discharged , the area we live in is notorious for being useless in dealing with SN and we are desperately trying to move away

thank you for the recommendation I will look them up smile

IcedCoffeeQueen Sat 31-Aug-13 09:30:37

Can someone tell me if I have this wrong? I collected ds from school yesterday sobbing his heart out, he didn't want to take part in swimming, he is massively sensitive to water is terrified of hair washing etc but was being pressured at school, he was ok in the pool but broke down afterwards during the wait for the bus, the teacher sent him to the sensory room for the last 30 mins of the day ds grew more and more upset and was inconsolable when I arrived, this is his first time to the sensory room and he was to lie down looking at twinkling lights, ds said he didn't like this at all and they kept changing colour which annoyed him, am I right in thinking that twinkling lights are for an under stimulated child and ds was over stimulated this may of made him worse? or am I understanding it wrong?

IcedCoffeeQueen Sat 31-Aug-13 09:39:25

im the op btw - name fail

mummytime Sat 31-Aug-13 10:05:55

I don't have much to say about your latest problem. But I would report what he said to school. After all NOTHING works for all children - eg. I find the feel of satin soothes my dry hands, my DD hates the feel.

However I would take your DS to your GP and get them to write again to CAMHS, if you can get your son to say how bad he feels so much the better. He does need help for his anxiety now.

I am dreading the return to school this week, as things have become relatively calm. I would love t take my DD out of school this year if DH would agree. I am just dreading that school will start with an explosion; although a slow fizzle would be worse, as she would just get nothing out of this year, but it would never force us into a decision.

Good luck!

Kleinzeit Sat 31-Aug-13 16:11:48

I don’t have any advice but just wanted to back you up – my DS was very sociable and outgoing when he was aged 7 and he does have an ASC diagnosis because his way of being outgoing was inappropriate – wrong person, wrong time, wrong thing to say or do. He’s much more reserved now he’s teenaged but he can still say and do inappropriate things.

Your DS sounds anxious, maybe the increased social demands of school as he gets older are taking a toll and he’s letting it out at home where he feels safer. flowers

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