ds2 (14) has asd he is also a very badly behaved teenager (finding it very hard to seperate the 2!) he does not seem to appreciate any of the small things in life and expects life to be a constant excitement / buzz / big entertainment .
his hobbies at the moment are fishing and bmx bike riding both of which need to be done at a weekend rather than through the week when dh can take him . he used to do music lessons and karate during the week but dropped them. he does sometimes ride his bike after school with his mates but i have had to use removal of the bike as a consequence for terrible behaviour as its the only thing that bothers him and so some nights / weeks he isnt able to do that. Even if he has a big day out full of fun one day he will moan its all boring the next when its a chill day.
The problem is , in a morning he is moody and miserable because he doesnt want to go to school , he says its pointless and boring and ive had tons of problems with mornings . this morning for example , i told him we need to go to an appointment on the way home from school at the docs and he said he didnt want to be bothered and it led to him kicking off , shouting and refusing to go to school...again.
i tried talking to him , he said ( as he does alot ), that life is boring boring boring , same stuff every day , nothing good ever happens , whats the point , etc etc . i pointed out that every night this week hes played his xbox , which he loves , watched an episode of a series that he loves that is his choice , played guitar with his dad and been laughing and seemingly fine and that his dad is taking him fishing on saturday. all to no avail. says its not really much fun , just same old.
i just find that he wants everything on a plate , he wont put himself out in the slightest and nothings ever good enough. He complains that he isnt allowed to alot of places his mates are , but thats because he lies , goes awol and his mates have started smoking and drinking . he complains he hasnt a computer of his own in his room , but he constantly found ways to access porn when he did so thats out . He feels his life is rubbish but doesnt see that he contributes to that and that actually hes very fortunate in a lot of ways .
sorry this is a longwinded load of rambling but im sat here pondering it all today! fed up of the school refusal as well . if hes in a good mood , off he goes but any tiny spanner in the works and thats it , he wont go . any views on it ?
Bumping you to the top so others can offer support. He seems to have a heightened sense of entitlement and doesn't recognise his responsibilities. Try and get him to do Duke of Edinburgh Award (look for a local group) or to volunteer for a group running activities for children with SN to get his life into perspective.
how about asking him what he would like to achieve and ask him to write a list of wishes. Then discuss with him what he needs to do/earn to achieve those goals. the understanding from your angle is that he has to make the effort if he does something towards this target all praise and write him nearere his goal. If he is having a teen "poor me" moment as mine have lol then you have the upper hand by stating if he wants to improve things and make it less boring then he knows what needs to be done xx