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Not allowed to talk about anything to do with DD's school on any social networking sites.....

(82 Posts)

And I have to sign something to say that a)I won't, and b)I acknowledge I could be prosecuted.

Any thoughts?

I'm a bit worried about sending dd to a school with such a gagging order.

And, have I just breeched the terms and conditions already?

mymatemax Tue 18-Jun-13 17:08:07

just dont sign it, what can they do? Im sure it doesnt form part of the local LEA admission process.

Fck'em I say, Fck'em!!

Do you think your dd will be ok without a home visit, if so dont worry, just saved yourself some extra tidying up ;)

If I'm honest, - probably she'll be more than fine. They'll get to know her quickly because she's starting with a small group on the first day and will probably be one of just a few staying the whole day and for lunch. We'll probably make a communication passport for her too, just because when I did it for ds all the teachers said how wonderful it was and that they would have loved something for their other children.

I'm just rattled by the autocratic inflexible nature of the communications and feel it doesn't bode well.

It is also a breach of the DDA to refuse to make a reasonable adjustment for her in light of us being elsewhere on the day due to an unavoidable appointment regarding ds' disability. They have responded in their email that they are sorry the date is 'inconvenient' for us.

I could leave it, but feel I ought to correct their mistake, even if no home visit is forthcoming.

zzzzz Tue 18-Jun-13 17:21:45

On the gagging doc, just don't sign it.

On the visit, just phone again and ask to speak to the head.

mymatemax Tue 18-Jun-13 17:23:27

I'm feeling all hippy & relaxed today, so personally I would just let it go & allow them a little error of judgement.
Just in case the school is the right one for your dd, you've plenty of time to change your mind & move her if they do end up being crap

mymatemax Tue 18-Jun-13 17:26:24

Oh but I wouldnt sign.

Our school did send a letter home asking parents not to post photos of children other than there own in school uniform on FB or similar. There are looked after children at the school who are at greater risk if their school is identified

They apologised via email that the time and date wasn't convenient.

I'm about to reply:

Thank you for your email. I'd just like to clarify that we were not requesting a reasonable adjustment for our convenience but to account for our responsibilities to our child who has a disability.

I am sorry that you feel excluding our daughter from the home visit schedule is the only remedy to this.

What do you think?

Perhaps you're right Mymate, but on the other hand I need to figure out if I even want to send her there and I'd rather have a blow up now and move her in time than halfway through the year.

A big apology and a bunch of flowers plus an invitation to high tea with the HT would probably help.......

cornyblend37 Tue 18-Jun-13 17:43:45

Can't believe they won't change the poxy home visit date.
And yes I think you're probably right that they are in breach of the DDA as dd is being penalised due to her brother's disability because they are refusing to make a reasonable adjustment. ggrrrr!

cornyblend37 Tue 18-Jun-13 17:44:33

but yes I agree with mymatemax
I would probably quietly seethe and let it go

googlyeyes Tue 18-Jun-13 17:46:30

Fwiw I will actively be dodging ds2's home visit. I don't think they make one iota of difference re how your child settled at school and in fact I find them faintly sinister. I really don't like the thought that the teacher knows which kids live in the immaculate mansions and which live in the smaller, more chaotic abodes. I don't think they can help but form judgements and I just wish she could start the year with a completely neutral viewpoint (as much as possible, at least)

That's true you have a point googly.

A friend of mine suggested that I did send it however, in order to warn them from the outset that there will be some accommodation required from them.

5madthings Tue 18-Jun-13 17:52:37

I wouldnt sign it and tbh that and the issuw with the home visit being so inflexible would really put me off.

Email back expkaining you need home visit changed due to special needs of your other child and see what they say. Or if they know that already say you are disappointed that they coukdnt make a reasonable adjustment for special circumstances.

You dont want to go in all guns blazing but i would (after they move the appointment) say that the process has not been the mosr welcoming of starts.

zzzzz Tue 18-Jun-13 17:53:47

I too find the home visit thing frankly weird. Such blatant "please let me snoop so I can pigeon hole you". shock

5madthings Tue 18-Jun-13 17:55:14

Oh i agree with googly re home visits, they make me uncomfortable. We never had one but if you feel it would be beneficial foryou and dd given her young carer status etc to have one then the school should make reasonable arrangements so she can have one.

I don't think dd needs the home visit tbh. I think it's more THEM that need it. She's quite a one.

I'll just let her loose on them without warning and they'll either sink or swim, - so good luck to them......

MumuDeLulu Tue 18-Jun-13 18:47:36

Hmm, I think it's already doomed, tbh.

1) issuing high-handed commands, without explanation, about what consenting adults without any contract of employment can say in public
2) 'policy' to visit each home (not offer) & no attempt at convenience
3) poor choice of tone in home visit invite
4) general inflexibility and default 'discrimination by association'
5) probably 'well in' with the LA, as hosts the in-county ASD unit
6) subtle traits of ofsted outstanding/ league table / oversubscribed etc

Don't email. 'Pop in' to drop off a little note instead. And from reception's response to that, you'll get a feel for if the jobsworth 'computer-says-no attitude' is the dominant culture. In which case, run for the hills.

MumuDeLulu Tue 18-Jun-13 18:49:11

And I'd be really wary of letting your ds gain a sibling link to what sounds like the main local alternative to his special school.

zzzzz Tue 18-Jun-13 18:56:14

Mumu that is scary but sounds horribly accurate. shock

cansu Tue 18-Jun-13 18:59:29

Tbh home visit is a waste of time. I suppose they have an automatic policy of not rescheduling because they are struggling to fit them in in the short time span allowed. Reception teacher has to be covered while she does them, so if they change times she may need another couple of hours cover etc. I know it seems like they are being unreasonable but I think you need to see the bigger picture. I wouldn't write the school off because they couldn't make this change for you. Personally I would write a note saying thanks for the offer of the home visit but you can't manage it because of the appointment at ss for ds. If they are able to reschedule then you'd be happy to meet but if not you will phone the teacher for a brief chat about your dd before she starts. I have so many things to get pissed off about that I wouldn't make this one of them tbh.

Mumu Thank you for that list. I was struggling with dh, but you know, boys like lists (wild generalisation).

I'm not worried about sibling link for ds. The school were already consulted and refused him. Too expensive severe!

Can I add to your list?

7) Just become an academy

Doooooooooooomed!!!!!!!!!

PolterGoose Tue 18-Jun-13 19:21:56

I wouldn't sign that form either.

Remember it's the Equality Act now and that it prohibits discrimination of people associated with those with protected characteristics. Although tbh do you really want/need a home visit?

MumuDeLulu Tue 18-Jun-13 19:27:44

Cansu, normally I'd agree with you about not getting uptight about one stupid visit etc. It's the wider pattern that makes me a bit twitchy.

Do you know what? I don't want a home visit.

What I want is to experience for the first time, the normal ritual of having your child start school for the first time with all the procedures and excitement and ridiculous home visits etc., without it being overshadowed and ruined by fear, fighting and hostility.

I guess it's just not in my stars.........

Maybe I'll get that with no. 3.

MumuDeLulu Tue 18-Jun-13 19:29:29

Find a nice helpful school, preferably on a sink estate.

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