Here some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.

Diagnosis = help v not labelling HFA

(185 Posts)
Confusingsituation Wed 22-May-13 09:52:53

I'm having a bit of worry about this
DS has been diagnosed as having HFA but he is young and having been able to track down some experts, I have been told the outlook is good.
They sat on the fence for ages but I think they have finally come off the fence because it means help can be put in place.
The flip side is that he has now been labelled. I didn't mind this but some kindly ? relatives have put this worry into my head.
Anyone further down the road than me, can I ask you was it the right thing to do, to have the issue named? Can it ever be harmful??

flowwithit Mon 27-May-13 14:05:18

I hope anxiousmotherdotnet has gone now!
Or name changed to attentionseekerdotnetgrin
In my opinion this is meant to be a supportive board for people to get advice etc I'm not one for arguing really but I do think if you have such a strong negative opinion you should be careful who you choose to vent that to and you most certainly should not be posting on SN help forum

flowwithit Mon 27-May-13 14:08:40

Actually, I just remembered the best way to deal with attention seekers is to ignore so I will not say any more about this!

rosielou678 Mon 27-May-13 14:56:57

Well it's certainly raised a heated debate and, I for one (with my label of being dyslexic - a label I've had for over 30 years), have been given plenty of food for thought

MareeeyaDoloures - thanks for the link to D Bishop's blog. I found it a very interesting and a thought-provoking article.

Ooh, Polter, is it really wrong of me that I wish I'd seen your post before you deleted it? wink grin

zzzzz Mon 27-May-13 17:41:09

EllenJane behave yourself. grin

I'm not sure I think it's a heated debate. More someone being unpleasant to a group of already stretched Mums, perhaps under the impression we are "fish in a barrel". Most of us deal with far worse in real life, but it has been less than life enhancing, to say the least.

Hmm, I've been reading this thread as it comes up in my Threads I'm On, but have avoided posting as I was a bit gobsmacked at the way it went.

I guess thinking that our DC are 'less than perfect' takes parents in different ways. This grief process goes through denial and anger before acceptance. (trying to be diplomatic)

My DS2 isn't 'less than' anything, BTW. I feel he's more bouncy, more egocentric, more precious and more gloriously off the wall than most. But that's because I accept his quirks and value the insight his DX has given me into how his mind works.

I know I'm lucky that he's happy more often than not and doesn't suffer from anxiety, so my view of his disability is strongly affected by this, and this can be very different if your DC's SN affects them much more negatively.

MareeeyaDoloures Mon 27-May-13 18:23:32

I can take someone being a bit unpleasant when it's obvious they also have significant struggles trying to raise their dc. A 'one of us' sibling quarrel can be difficult, but it's unlikely that anxiousmum would begrudge any of our dc extra help in school, sympathetic treatment from a cafe owner, or jumping the Asda queue mid-meltdown.

It's the smug perfects, obsessed with competition and 'fairness', busy looking down on strugglers, with their 'will we try for the 11+ or the music scholarships' who get to me.

Well said, Mareeeya.

I don't think anxious meant to be mean. I think she is just struggling to rationalise the shock and desperate worry for our kids we all share. She's come down in a different place from some of us presumably based on the context within which she lives either in her head or in her immediate environment.

HotheadPaisan Mon 27-May-13 20:03:06

I think if you don't know a lot about neurological difference/disability it's quite a steep learning curve.

Also, I knew when DS1 was given a diagnosis of AS that it didn't fit but it was all there was so we took it. His other diagnosis of HFA and various other things in a six-page report was much more comprehensive, contextualised and meaningful.

Day to day, it really doesn't matter. Anxiety and misunderstanding/ misinterpreting and not understanding affect everything we do or don't do.

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