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..they did it again....change for change sake - inevitable moan.

(12 Posts)
TICKLETUMBLE Mon 20-May-13 19:37:54

Just need to vent.....get head straight before writing to school.....

DS school introduced a positive reinforcing reward system in week 2 of term 5. We had no idea and DS was consequently confused about how it worked and it caused problems. We had reservations about how they were implementing it, using peer pressure to support better behaviour as the golden time earned by DS (and one other child on SEN register) was given to all the children. It singled him out, using a system that has been tried before and failed (reward systems not generally successful away as DS not thinking about consequences when he acts and not fussed by what others say he should do) Never-the-less we went with it. He now understands it and is proud when he gets golden time stickers and enjoyed having the golden time at the end of the week.

Today, the week before half term they changed it to a punitive system of loss of golden time when behaviour is not acceptable. I happened to be in school this morning talking about the school's data for request for SEN assessment. DS was sent out of class on an errand (usually when he is getting distressed they do this to give him a change of scene and he's forgotten it by the time he gets back) . He saw me and clung to me saying how he is not getting all his golden time and its not fair. clearly distressed and confused, refused to go back to class without me.

Even then, no-one thought to mention the change so I could help him understand. By the end of the day, after a few refusals and not so good behaviour DS had lost 5 minutes of golden time.......he went ballistic, was uncontrollable and totally beside himself.

Positive reinforcement with golden time is in his behaviour plan. They are very aware that DS does not deal well with rule changes, and gets confused easily. They now know he is incredibly sensitive to negative reinforcement....punishment does not work.....continue if you want a full blown melt down.

If they had let us know this is what they were planning, we could have prepared DS for this change, and also let them know what level of hell they were inviting by doing it.

Well done everyone on that one.... is there an emoticon for utterly demoralised and pissed off?

PolterGoose Mon 20-May-13 19:50:23

angry angry angry for you and ds

What on earth were they thinking to change something that was working?

used2bthin Mon 20-May-13 19:51:26

That is frustrating. Sorry I am no help as am feeling utterly demoralised by everything at the moment, its so hard when it feels no one is listening.

TICKLETUMBLE Mon 20-May-13 20:35:56

They were thinking about all the other children getting recognition for good behaviour and not thinking about DS at all.

CT actually stated, its the same for everyone so why should he feel aggrieved about it....but DS is not like everyone else, is not in control of his unwanted behaviour, and special consideration is needed FFS!

Letter expressing dismay written. Vienetta eaten, feeling a bit better now.

NoHaudinMaWheest Mon 20-May-13 21:32:24

Good grief that is really awful behaviour on the part of the school.

MareeeyaDoloures Mon 20-May-13 23:02:49

FFS. Its still a reward system, just an unethical, counter-productive and discriminatory one. What they are doing, is deliberately introducing child anxiety about the possibility of 'losing' golden time via behaviour errors.

Most dc don't like feeling anxious, so adapt their behaviour, which reduces their anxieties (well, those dc who can do, those who can't, just suffer).

TICKLETUMBLE Mon 20-May-13 23:09:41

I do feel its discriminating...whether they are conscious of it or not, and have said as much in my letter of dismay. I'd rather there were no reward system than a punitive one.

PolterGoose Mon 20-May-13 23:11:15

How I hate the "Well... we have to be fair and treat them all the same" and variations on a theme nonsense.

I say "Erm, no, you don't, read the fecking Equality Act"

TICKLETUMBLE Mon 20-May-13 23:27:16

Can I quote you on that PolterGoose? lol
I think they just didn't consider the fallout. they have this whole philosophy for school of natural consequences and then introduce this....it just doesn't make sense.

I am not aware that there is a class wide problem with behaviour that all the children need a tool to be motivated to behave themselves 'or else'.

I am just winding myself up now.....the letter is written and will delivered by hand tomorrow and I expect I'll get a call shortly after its read.

PolterGoose Tue 21-May-13 06:38:10

Can I recommend the book 'Lost at School' by Ross Greene, he also wrote 'The Explosive Child' which is brilliant. I've only just started the school one but so far it is brilliant, all about how typical school behaviour policies just don't work for children with 'behaviour problems'.

TICKLETUMBLE Tue 21-May-13 06:49:14

Thanks Polter I'll get that ordered today!!!

TICKLETUMBLE Tue 21-May-13 13:56:11

Took up the issue with HT. This was supposed to be a trial run to see if it worked before rolling out to whole school.

Made clear that changing stuff like this is not OK, need notice to help DS to prepare for change, and by the way this is contradictory to the IEP and advice given by all professionals to give positive reinforcement of good behaviour, and in all honesty likely to precipiate the behaviour you are trying to avoid.

Fell on muted ears...not quite deaf yet.I think they are fast coming to the conclusion its all a bit too much to handle.

Not had a call about DS so far so it must be going ok today.

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