Here some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.

What would you do??

(40 Posts)
inappropriatelyemployed Thu 09-May-13 21:32:58

OK, bit of a problem.

A new family arrived at DS school. From same county as us. Put their daughter in the school without putting her on the roll while they were going through the statement process. Kid was in school full time and freaking out. Parents left staff to cope even though kid wasn't on roll and school had no support/TA for her. Just wanted evidence for statementing so two months later, pulled her out of school once statement was about to be issued.

They started to ask me to take their DD home a few times and she had tea here. Lovely girl. Just not coping with school. Parents always late to pick her up and then stayed hours talking through their issues.

Problem is family have now become a bit of a pain. Dad turned up on my doorstep at 7 last Friday to 'chat'

They email me late at night and have twice tried to ring me way past 9pm. I screened and avoided them.

I am really not a 'rules' person and would help anyone but they are taking the piss,They know I have DS out of school and I feel they just took advantage of DS's school.

I really don't want get dragged into their weird world. What should I do?

Oops, sorry if I spoiled a bit. blush

The rape scene was bad. I don't watch that kind of stuff willingly so perhaps I'm more shocked/sensitive but it bothered me for a few days after.

It's at the beginning though so it is over with before you are hooked into the tv, so perhaps you can be clearing away plates or looking for the remote or whatever.

I couldn't make up my mind whether it was strictly necessary to have it, but actually I think it probably is pretty key part of the story.

PolterGoose Fri 10-May-13 09:45:25

Star shock I've only seen the first episode, we haven't got round to the others yet... I've been a bit reluctant after reading about the rape scene in episode 2, how bad was it?

zzzzz Fri 10-May-13 09:42:23

polt is absolutely right.

Incidently, if you saw Politicians Husband, the ending was blimmin obvious to me, but dh called it a 'twist'! hmm

If you haven't seen it, a husband and wife were in competition in politics (though the competitiveness and agressive behaviuor came mostly from him), and the woman came out on top.

Ah yes. But PG is right, we shouldn't be using it, because that shows acceptance, even if used humourously.

A bit like Irish people making Irish jokes etc.

zzzzz Fri 10-May-13 09:21:12

grin

I will try not to "man up" in polts company. I would find "girling down" in face of assessment just brilliant. I don't know why I find this kind of language so funny. Perhaps because the concept of man being superior to woman is just so.....stupid?

<whispers I laugh at fart jokes too>. < MNSN hara kiri >

PolterGoose Fri 10-May-13 09:12:23

Keep grin

KeepOnKeepingOn1 Fri 10-May-13 09:04:05

DS1 has found coming downstairs for assessments a challenge. He will stand at the top of the stairs saying 'manning up, manning up' descend a couple of steps and then say 'oh no, girling down, girling down' and go back up (Homer in a Simpsons episode).

Obviously politically and as a strong woman myself I disapprove but I couldn't help but laugh. Also he may be reproducing gender stereotypes but he is using scripted humour to deal with a difficult real-life situation hmm I prefer to interpret it as postmodern irony grin

PolterGoose Fri 10-May-13 08:19:46

We need to remember that parents of children with SNs are just as diverse a group as any other, so just because you can empathise with their situation regarding their child doesn't mean you necessarily have anything else in common or have to like them.

And thanks all for not taking umbrage at my 'man up' comment.

MareeyaDolores Fri 10-May-13 00:01:24

Rinse and repeat. He'll get the message eventually.

MareeyaDolores Fri 10-May-13 00:00:49

Ah, just politely state the boundaries.

'I'm sorry, but we only take visitors between x and y pm, and I need z notice so I can warn DS / lock the dogs up / fumigate the sofa / clear the illegal settlement out of the basement

It's much easier to chat in a cafe than by phone / text / facebook I'm usually in Starbucks on Tue 10am. That's the best place to collar me."

inappropriatelyemployed Thu 09-May-13 23:32:02

PG it is not often I am accused of being not 'man' enough! Just trying to be sensitive to a family having problems while bearing in mind that the dad at least is a very difficult character to be around. Maybe because he has no manners or is selfish or self obsessed or maybe he just doesn't understand these rules.

You've sorted me anyway!

smile

You're right PG, as usual.

Language is strange. I'm more of a 'communication' person than a 'language' person, I'm sure is obvious from my appalling use of language in general, and shared meaning can often have no relevance or link to the origin of a word, though I agree there are better words with no history.

zzzzz Thu 09-May-13 23:22:58

I'm sorry polt I know, I know. I am addicted to such nonsense, they just make me laugh.

PolterGoose Thu 09-May-13 23:18:52

(erm, just want to point out that I hate the phrase "man up", especially in view of all the extremely strong, assertive women on this board fighting for their children, "man up" really feels wrong, and I know it's just words, but words are powerful)

ouryve Thu 09-May-13 23:18:33

Judicial review
Local Government Somethingorother

zzzzz Thu 09-May-13 23:15:49

What's "JRing the LGO"?????

inappropriatelyemployed Thu 09-May-13 23:15:08

Yes I know but it is funny how these things can intrude on your very limited private space in a really intrusive way.

I didn't want to be an arse zzzzz if he didnt really get he was being out of order (but he has a wife so surely she would have pointed this out) but you are right I shall be man up!!

zzzzz Thu 09-May-13 23:13:45

Do you care if they think you're rude?

'Man up, and don't be a push over you wimp. '

Said to the gal that is JRing the LGO........ha ha ha!

grin

Aw hope you sort this IE. Just compare this thing to your REAL problems and how you deal with it will become unimportant.

inappropriatelyemployed Thu 09-May-13 23:10:24

Perhaps a polite email setting out good times to contact someone might help.

inappropriatelyemployed Thu 09-May-13 23:09:23

I know what you mean Star and that is partly my concern that the dad in particular doesn't realise for some reason he has crossed a line.

Mum is much more savvy but she lets him do all the interacting.

I suppose so, in our current culture anyway.

But perhaps it will become less so the more social media is used and the busier people are getting perhaps.

However, 'I'm afraid I don't have time to speak to you right now, please don't come to my house unnanounced' isn't quite the same as 'fuck off' is it!?

zzzzz Thu 09-May-13 23:07:56

"I'm sorry I can't stop now I'm....." Teaching, on the phone, eating, I have guests coming, I'm busy, I wish you'd called.

At no point do you let them in, you walk with them towards the road.

I hate unannounced visitors. People on one level know I have 5 children and HE ds and work from home, but they still fail to realise I don't really have free time. Given notice I can juggle things (which I do for people I like), sometimes I just can't and their 1 or 2 hour chat, means I miss 1 or 2 hours sleep.

Man up, and don't be a push over you wimp. grin

PolterGoose Thu 09-May-13 23:00:08

It is seen as rude to be honest and direct though isn't it?

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