please help......

[awwwwmannnn]

hi,
i apologise in advance for the long post....been a lurker for a while but never posted on this topic before.

my DD is 2.4 and is extremely slow with her speech, 20 words at most if i'm being generous!

she's a wonderful loving, gorgeous, funny darling little girl, but i do have some concerns (or maybe slight paranoia not really sure lol).

first off is her hearing, if she is engrossed in something she will totally tune you out if you ask her something...but if i ask her does she want chocolate/crisps she will answer straightaway??

when playing with blocks/puzzles, she will get them out the box and will line them up before doing what she wants to do with them..i'm not sure if this is red flag or she's copying me as i tend to "organise" things when doing puzzles etc to make it easier to see the pictures. when building the towers, she will build a red tower, yellow tower, blue etc, this is a new thing she's starting doing. she has been learning colours so not sure if its her way of sorting different colours out?

i take her to a playgroup every friday and she still doesn't really play with the other kiddies there, more along side them or copying them maybe. she is quite happy on the slides etc to take her turn, and will often encourage smaller kiddies to go down the slide if they seem stuck. she will sit and eat her toast with them really nice and will kind of engage with them but not much.

she is with a CM 4 days a week and she has two other little ones who are month or so apart in age from DD, and CM says she plays really nice with them, especailly little boy who is a similar personality to her, the other little girl is very confident and forthright lol also CM takes them to music group twice a week and today she said she joined in and really went for it for the first time ever.

sometimes i do wonder if she has autism or something similar, or am i just looking for things that are not there as a reason for the delayed speech.

she can be quite stubborn and refuse to do what she doesn't want to do, normal behaviour or something else?

she has had tonsillitis 5 times in 6 months, and i've been back and fore to the doctors. last time i met the health visitor and voiced my concerns over lack of speech - she is having a speech assessment with HV tomorrow morning and now i'm convinced they are going to stick a label on her...

so sorry for the rambling and long post, its just nice to finally get it ALL out there rather than only mentioning bits and bobs because i'm scared of what will be said lol

i know you are not doctors and can't diagnose, just asking for opinions and advice/experience really

[StarlightMcKenzie]

Hi there. I'm sorry you're so worried. I don't know if you are right to be but I would say that the biggest red flag for me is that you have posted here. That IMO means that there is something going on that is worth investigating.

Just to put your mind at rest about the HV assessment and even Speech and Language assessment. Neither of those people can dx autism or very much and no-one can without parent consent anyway.

[awwwwmannnn]

thanks for your quick response Starlight - much appreciated.

you just read/hear so much these days about autism/aspergers etc that it just got me thinking and of course the more you read about it the more convinced you are they got it .

if it does turn out that down the road this is a dx my DD has then that's absoutely fine, of course i'll probably feel sad if that does happen but its certainly not the end of the world, and i will do all i can to help her xx

[StarlightMcKenzie]

'if that does happen but its certainly not the end of the world, and i will do all i can to help her'

If that is your attitude then even if something is flagged up you're already miles ahead of many and your dd is lucky.

However, a dx doesn't 'GIVE' a condition iyswim. Your dd is whoever she is regardless. If you think she is struggling with something then you'll want to ensure she has the best chances of getting support to enable her to achieve her potential. That can sometimes mean explaining any difficulties in shorthand which is where a 'label' comes in useful. But it is by no means the only way to do things and you should never think of a diagnosis as a prognosis.

But sadly and also reassuringly, it can take a while to get a dx as evidence is needed, which means that a helpful thing you can do at the moment is research symptoms of various conditions and make a list of those that you think might apply to your dd, making sure to write one or two real life examples and gather some video too of the areas that concern you for the professionals to look over.

You should probably start with an audiology appointment though.

[awwwwmannnn]

the one thing i am certain of is that i love my DD more than life itself and whatever happens, happens, as long as she is happy and knows she is loved that's all that matters to me.

your post made perfect sense - having read up on these matters, i am by no means an expert, but what i can see is that there is such a WIDE spectrum, she could be placed anywhere on it....or i could be told there is nothing wrong with her and i should just chill the fudge out!!

i do however have a "gut" feeling that there is a slight issue somewhere, whether it be medical or psychological if that makes sense?

[coff33pot]

always go with your own gut feeling :)

If you are concerned in anyway start making a diary of what you observe that you feel is an issue. The more you have noted down the better picture for professionals to go by. She is young and still developing for now it may well be there is nothing wrong and I hope so but it wont hurt to keep tabs on your gut feelings for future reference.

If you are concerned then perhaps go to your GP and request to see a developmental pead. That at least means she is in the pipeline for regular checks along the way if your concerns get more serious x

[awwwwmannnn]

Thank you guys

after speaking with my DH we are going to see what happens at the assessment in the morning and take it from there really. sometimes i wonder if its a confidence issue with her, as she does seem thrive in some circumstances better than others.

with the doctors i've seen regarding her speech/persistent tonsillitis, i've had so much "wait and see she's still young", "she's still on what we consider to be the normal range" "she'll grow out of it" and i come away feeling ok, and then, not quite sure what, i can't put my finger on it, i kind of think actually no i haven't had my questions answered, i'm not sure if i'm happy with what i've been told and feel like i've been fobbed off!

for the last week or two i've been making notes of events that have given me my niggles so i can be clear and precise when talking to doctors/HV, i've videoed her doing some stuff around the house, and even taped her snoring as believe me she sounds like a 60stone drunk man sleeping on his back with her snoring....certainly puts daddy to shame lol

I suppose, for now, i will have to wait and see how things go tomorrow and take it from there x

[StarlightMcKenzie]

Have you looked into sleep apnea?

[redwellybluewelly]

I wonder if your DD has had many ear infections along with the throat infections? My DD is 2.8, she has a speech delay and we have done some private therapy as the NHS wait was too long and also unsuitable. At 2.4 she had maybe four or five words, now she is actively interested in speaking but isn't very good at it yet so it mostly sounds the same.

What we were told was that although she wasn't unusually late talking what concerned them was the huge gap between her understanding (receptive language) and her lack of verbal communication (expressive language). Does your DD understand what you ask her? Does your CM have any concerns?

Trust your gut, but do bear in mind that she may well be working on another skill right now like motor skills or finding out how to stack blocks, and that as long as her needs are met and she can make herself known to her caregivers then frankly she might not yet see the point in talking! Hugely hugely frustrating and worrying for us as parents.

[awwwwmannnn]

well last time i was at the doctors (2 weeks ago) he checked her ears etc and i mentioned the snoring and the fact she can't sleep well or breath through her nose, he said that sounds like her adenoids! that was it, nothing else, because her ears were clear he didn't seem to think it was an issue!!

[StarlightMcKenzie]

adenoids out 'can' get rid of sleep apnea (which can cause behaviour and developmental difficulties). you'll need to ask gp for a referral to ent.

[awwwwmannnn]

hi guys, sorry for disappaearing last night, i fell asleep

well we had the assessment this morning, and after a long 3 hours we were told that in all areas DD is about 6-8 months ahead of where she should be with regards to congitive and all the other malarky skills. the only area she came out as average was her speech. Assessor was impressed with her understanding and said she can understand quite complicated commands, she said her hearing is definitely not a problem, its literally the spoken word!!!

she is going to speak to SALT to see if they think a referral is necessary and if so will contact us to arrange appointment. .

with regards to the adenoids etc she did agree that this can cause a delay, she will be speaking with DD's GP about an ENT referral and again will contact me regarding this.

i must say, i was very pleasantly surprised with the outcome of the assessment and so proud i could almost burst...its certainly a weight off my shoulders but suppose we still got someway to go with sorting other problems re: breathing out.

i think i have become so hung up on what DD is not doing, its blinded me to what she can actually do and how proud of her i should be.

i think (just a tiny) step back is needed and keep on with the encouraging and praise and hopefully this outburst of words will happen shortly.

an appointment has been made for another assessment in 6 months, but assessor didn't seem to think it would be necessary.

have an appointment tomorrow with cranial osteopath with regards to blockages in ears/nose/throat as apparently they can work wonders....anything is worth a shot if it helps DD.

thank you all for your kind words and support
xxxx

[coff33pot]

That is great news :) Congratulations to your DD on how far she has come!

Also good that a referral to ENT specialist is going to happen maybe that will sort a few extra issues out.

Good luck and I am really glad for you that you can relax a little now x

[awwwwmannnn]

thank you, such kind words

i'm very relieved and very proud of my little girl, she just amazes me!!
it was definitely reassuring to receive good news, i really was expecting to come away from there in tears and worried to death!
clearly an overreaccting parent x

[coff33pot]

nope not an overreacting parent just a sensible caring one that noticed a few oddities that concerned her that is all. :) You did right to seek assurance and visit the relevant profs to check her over and assess her.

Hope the SALT appointment comes quickly too! I know they can drag their heals a bit. To make you a bit more relaxed my nephew could not utter a single word but once he started school (and I am sure he was nearing 5/6 he walked in and uttered a complete sentence and there has been no stopping him since!

You never know how things pan out with children so there is no harm keeping an eye on their development that is nothing to do with over reacting x Good luck

[awwwwmannnn]

again thank you and for such kind words

we took her to cranial osteopath this morning, who noted blockages in the nose and ears and a slight misalignment with her pelvis. she thinks 4 sessions with her will benefit DD so we're going to give a go. she done a few techniques on her today and as hard as it is to believe, there was a difference (albeit slight) in her behaviour straightaway.

she was so gentle and caring with DD - we figured the sessions were cheap (£18) so we've certainly got nothing to lose by taking her and if it helps then fan-bloody-tastic, if it only makes a slight improvement then we've still gained.

on an amazing plus-side DD has come out with two new words today, drink and keys...she has never said these before, i'm so proud of her i could burst xx