DS is school refusing. He will go in for a short period with me. He will not go into the classroom. He would go into class for a short period with me last term but now will not.
He says he doesn't want to be with his peers and doesn't want to be in the class. He says he hates school and feels different.
He is 10 and has AS.
School will try anything to make this better. They are recruiting a new TA. My feeling is that we have turned a corner with his attitude to school and, even with alot of effort we will not get him back to class. The best we can hope for is him happily sitting outside (and far away) from class with a TA doing some parts of the curriculum. I feel he is currently not being included or accessing the curriculum.
He is able and doing well academically and this is not the first time it has happened. But we were at a less supportive school last time.
How much more of this are we expected to put up with? If school can't recruit a TA, we are left supporting him ourselves. Even if they can, it is a big ask to suggest that this will suddenly cure his difficulties with his peer group and being in a class.
Zzzz, I also agree that things can be taught outside the classroom but although this is manageable at a supportive primary school, it is not at a mainstream secondary or secondary with an ASD unit.
It's not just about wanting a classroom experience but about looking at what options there are in the future. He won't get taught individually outside class at secondary school so he will be in or out of school.
So the bottom line is, do you think he can be taught to cope with being educated in class?
If you do, and that is what you want for him, how would you do that? That's what you need to fight for. Use the "access to curriculum" and "failed with teacher TA" to achieve that, but they are only tools to get what he needs to achieve your desired end.
Be aware that it may be the case that his attainment is significantly less if he is taught in class. That's not to say "don't", just there will be a balance.
It is incredibly hard. I went through much the same decision making process last year, and barely slept for 6 months. Whichever way you jump there will major negatives. Hang in there, honk honk.
Is your ds able to articulate what he wants? Does he do any activities or socialise with any other children? Does he have any friends at school?
What do you think he needs? Ideal world, what would work for him right now? Why would an independent school be different?
What do you want him to gain from an education by the time he reaches 18? Is it about achieving his academic potential or being able to learn in a classroom? Think about the skills and resources he actually needs for adult life.
Education can come later, not everyone needs to follow the school-work or school-university route, there are other paths. If right now his well being is most important then address that, he can catch up academically later on (I was an adult returner to education as I had lots of problems at school), you do have lots of choices. But clearly the situation as it is just isn't tenable, no one is gaining anything as it is right now.