I can see on here there are a few threads about autistic kids and their friends. I'm looking for ideas how to handle this situtuation.
My 5 yo daughter's best friend (also aged 5) is very difficult to deal with. She is intellectually very able and socially "active but odd". Her speech can be fluent, but she is usually giggling and repeating words or phrases over and over, making rude gestures and screaming. She seems fixated on being naughty eg repeating swearwords for over twenty minutes instead of playing like other children do. Her parents are well aware and have told me about some major steps they have taken to modify her behaviour. They have not said she has been diagnosed.
My daughter loves her friend, and tends to take on some of her gestures and sayings. I keep finding myself telling her "stop copying T". When they are together, my daughter does not challenge her friend's odd behaviour but accepts it and joins in. I think the parents think my daughter is not good for their child, while at the same time being glad their daughter does have at least one friend. (T has been explicitly excluded by other children in their class and other parents have commented on her difficult behaviour.) The parents have rather embarrassedly mentioned that the pair of them together have sometimes been extremely naughty at their house.
I'd like to talk to them about managing the girls' behaviour together, and having a "zero-tolerance" rule where the friends have alternating playdates once a week, but either one gets sent home immediately for any misdemeanour at all eg the first swearword. I'm sure that with a strong supportive structure, both these little girls could grow up into lovely young women. Right now, we don't have the structure in place though.
If you are a parent of a similar child, what would you wish I would do in the circumstances? Is there any way someone could approach you that you would find helpful, or would you prefer no approach however kindly intended?
Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.
SN children
How to handle DD's ?HFA friend
UrbanSpaceMum · 17/04/2013 12:06
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