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My daughter has learned to lie. Could anyone recommend any books to read her or social stories?

(12 Posts)

Hi,

my daughter is 8, and has severe LD. She has been in main stream school for 6 months after being home educated. She enjoys school and has many friends, but recently on play dates she's started lying. She's never done this before. She tells lies to get, usually the little brother into trouble. She doesn't like the little brother being there, as she wants her friend to herself. She finds it very hard to play with more than one person at a time.
She says things like "he hit me", and even kicked him as he wouldn't do as she said. We took her streight home for this and put her to bed for a nap. This is all so out of charactor for her, and appart from what I've just mensioned, I'm not sure how to resolve it.
If you have any ideas I'd be greatful. smile

P.s it wasn't a hard kick as the boy who's only 4 wasn't crying at all. He just looked a bit shocked. So was I! angry

She has made friends with a girl at school who is always lying and hitting people. This girl tends to lead Lucy by the nose. Lucy's just learned that she's not such a nice friend and has tried to escape her but can't. sad

PolterGoose Mon 15-Apr-13 18:59:32

Well... learning to tell lies is quite an important developmental stage so it is a good thing really grin

Just easier to manage in a 4yo than an 8yo!

I don't know whether your dd would respond to this but we have managed to convince ds that when he lies (very rare for him) his shoulders do a strange thing, we can't describe it, we just know! Of course it is all nonsense, but if we suspect he is telling lies we say 'hmm shoulders' and he crumbles.

I also think that if she is playing with a friend then common sense would say to keep younger siblings away, ds really struggles with his bf's little sister being around so the mum keeps her occupied elsewhere while the boys play.

PolterGoose Mon 15-Apr-13 19:00:30

Re your 2nd post, school need to deal with that issue pronto.

Thank you. smile I'm going to talk to her one to one lady tomorrow.
The other mums tend to say "let the little brother play, don't leave him out" etc, as he cries.
Lucy is an only child, (through no choice of our own) I'm sure this doesn't help.

MareeyaDolores Mon 15-Apr-13 20:05:08

3 dc playing together rarely works, even with NT dc all the same age and developmental level. Probably doomed when combined with the double whammy of SN and annoying-little-brother-ness.

Is there any chance of adding a 4th playmate? Having even numbers seems to take some of the heat off (in our house anyway)

Hmm, we could ask if the little brother could bring a play mate. smile

I've just been settling her as she was crying about this girl, saying she's been nasty to her and not letting her play with her friends and telling her she's fat. hmm She said if this girl doesn't move to another cshool, she wants to be home educated again. sad

I really am going to have to get this sorted, but from what I've heard, the mum of this girl thinks she can do no wrong. It's going to be hard for the school to correct her behavior without the suppot of her mum.

MareeyaDolores Mon 15-Apr-13 21:25:45

If you can manage it without gagging, I've had quite good results from blaming my own dc in a similar situation

'my dc seems to be having a really bad influence on your princess, i'm so sorry but somehow she's provoking her into insert evil behaviour of choice my dc is normally a lovely dc, I really don't want this to cause problems in school, it might be quicker to tackle it by just separating them till my dc grows up a little...'

MareeyaDolores Mon 15-Apr-13 21:27:42

obviously can tell teachers the truth
but ask them to tackle in a 'chicken-egg-don't-care-whose -at-fault' way

moondog Mon 15-Apr-13 21:33:07

Social Stories are a really clear way of getting over an important lesson about appropriate social behaviours. The developer of them is Carol Gray and only her stuff is worth paying attention to. (A lot of people claim to be writing and developing social stories but they aren't very good.)

I have this book of hers which explains the protocol and contains many stories, which are also on a cd so you can personalise them.

Check out her wonderful website too for other resources.

BallyGoBackwards Tue 16-Apr-13 19:35:17

We had a book called "Dont tell lies,Lucy". We also have another called "Dont be a bully, Billy" . Think there is a good few of them in the series. Maybe you could google them.

I like the sound of "Don't tell lies Lucy" I'll have a look for that one. smile

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