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How to get out of TAC meetings without damaging future relationships?

(38 Posts)
babiki Fri 12-Apr-13 11:33:15

Just had a call about TAC meeting in May, whom to invite etc. I realised I don't actually want to do them at all, the first (and only one so far) was a lot of hot air in any case, totally useless. I was uncomfortable the whole time, as I complained about the Physio and OT, who are both waste of space.

Did you get out of yours? Was it seen as uncooperative?
They used the minutes from our one at the Tribunal, I know now the therapists are all buddies wit the Education and there mjust a lot of talk about us...

We lost Tribunal over refusal to asess but have applied to Upper Tribunal and the case is being reviewed now as well (by the same judge). One of the contested issues is independent OT report and her recommendations...

What could I say to stop the TAC meetings without damaging future cooperation - DS is only 3 and a half so will have to see all the muppets anyway at some point again.
The only one that is helpful is SAlt, maybe I could have a TAC meeting just with her grin

babiki Fri 12-Apr-13 23:51:07

Couthy that's wonderful that ds2 is getting it! And so he should!

I have spent every summer in a rehabilitation centre (we call it spa) having various types of physio and hydrotherapy etc..because of my arthritis. It was not that bad (diagnosed when I was 6) but it was preventetive - and it probably worked, as I am very lucky and it has not deteriorated much at all.

CouthySaysEatChoccyEggs Fri 12-Apr-13 23:23:18

Sorry for double post.

CouthySaysEatChoccyEggs Fri 12-Apr-13 23:22:56

Believe me, 15 years ago, when I first had DD, I was bloody clueless!

I thought, naively, that these therapists etc actually DID stuff...

Little did I know!

I only know how to work the system to my advantage because I've spent a decade and a half attempting to navigate it...

And even now, there's plenty that I don't know!!

CouthySaysEatChoccyEggs Fri 12-Apr-13 23:22:55

Believe me, 15 years ago, when I first had DD, I was bloody clueless!

I thought, naively, that these therapists etc actually DID stuff...

Little did I know!

I only know how to work the system to my advantage because I've spent a decade and a half attempting to navigate it...

And even now, there's plenty that I don't know!!

CouthySaysEatChoccyEggs Fri 12-Apr-13 23:20:15

Would it pain you to know that my DS2 is actually getting hydrotherapy? blush

It's taken until he is 9yo, has developed kyphosis from lack of Physio input, and is in severe pain though...

babiki Fri 12-Apr-13 19:38:58

Wow Couthy, I can see the point of TAC for you!
Agree with Star, once you got the kids sorted in the best possible way you can have a great career ahead of you smile

But getting Physio to SEE a child in Essex will be difficult! Our one is very good at 'observing' and writing hilarious reports but never actually touched ds smile I don't know why they just don't call themselves 'assesors' instead of therapists.

Last year, while still being very naive I have asked about hydrotherapy and she almost kneeled over laughing...so funny, isn't it, that something widely available in so-called Eastern European countries (hands on physio and hydrotherapy) is seen as a luxury in one of the richest countries in the world!!

If they get rid of all the air hot bullshit meetings and Early Support huge bibles etc maybe they could actually do stuff that works...

Blimey Couthy. I know it isn't supposed to work like this, but if it wasn't for you know, all your kinds and stuff grin you could probably make quite a bit as an independent advocate.

CouthySaysEatChoccyEggs Fri 12-Apr-13 18:51:47

Parent partnership might have someone now - we've been 4 years without one in our part of North Essex. They're in the LA's pocket, but at least it will be somebody there with us.

My Ex is even going to take the time off work...

My goal from the TAC meeting is for them to see that due to DS3's issues, MS Nursery isn't the correct placement for him, I have found a perfectly good SN Nursery, the Specialist Pre-School Education Assessor agreed with me, and I'm just waiting for an answer from the pre-school assessment board to finalise this placement.

I want some proper SALT help - even if it is just a Makaton course.

I want a referral to OT to assess and tell me if there is any equipment to help him with his hypermobile joints - I get DLA, am happy to buy most equipment myself from that, just want advice.

I want Physio to actually SEE him, rather than just 'keep him on their books', as I don't want to run the risk of him developing kyphosis like DS2.

I want a referral to the allergist at the Evelina in London, rather than the local one, as the local one didn't listen to me properly, filled his report with inaccuracies, though did dx DS3 with anaphylaxis to dairy, tree bits and peanuts, and also with an allergy to soy.

I want them all to accept that I am not 'over exaggerating' his health issues and disabilities, but that I just want what is best for him right now, and that I feel that Early Intervention is far more cost effective, with better outcomes, than a 'watchful wait', having been here twice before.

I would like to go on a course directed at parents of toddlers with Autism / ADHD for support. (Though he hasn't got a firm dx of ADHD due to age, he does have a dx of hyperactivity 'with a high probability of ADHD'). His ADOS is in May, so I'm hoping that the TAC meeting us postponed until after that.

The Specialist Pre-School assessor is recommending sensory integration therapy - so at the very least it has been recognised that DS3 has some sensory processing issues.

Along with his severely delayed speech, I don't feel that MS Nursery, especially with the drop in ratios from 1:3 to 1:4 in September, is going to be an appropriate placement for him - and neither do the local pre-schools!

CouthySaysEatChoccyEggs Fri 12-Apr-13 18:36:24

I have a TAC meeting for DS3 'soon'.

I however, have the DDA and the equality act to be behind my request to record the meeting, as I have memory issues caused by my disability.

Everybody hates it, but then I can type up the transcript and send them a copy.

I'm hoping that this means that nobody can wriggle out of things!

(I'm in Essex...)

2006hildy Fri 12-Apr-13 16:26:14

ok will do

wasuup3000 Fri 12-Apr-13 15:24:02

OK smile

babiki Fri 12-Apr-13 14:49:02

I meant DCD of course, sorry
maybe CDC also means something smile

wasuup3000 Fri 12-Apr-13 14:24:34

CDC?

babiki Fri 12-Apr-13 14:13:07

Ouch yes Herts is infamous too.

I will probably combine your approach with Star's - our key worker is OK as well, I realised I don't have all of their email adresses so just will send them generic email through her.

Let me know once you do it what's the reaction..and good luck.

2006hildy Fri 12-Apr-13 14:07:36

Herts but IPSEA tribunal line says they are all as bad as each other.

I was going to approach it by telling the Family Support Worker who is lead professional in our case.

(I get on with her even though her minutes have been economical with the truth. They must go through a tribunal proof process before they reach me as they take soo long as well)

That I will only turn up if there is an agenda and that everyone has seen ds otherwise no TAC meeting and wait for everyone to contact me by letter instead. I don’t request anything anymore I just let them do their jobs or not as case may be.

babiki Fri 12-Apr-13 13:28:43

Starlight, we haven't seen the OT in months anyway, so hopefully she is helping other children somewhere smile.

Wassup, he is globally delayed but the CDC atm is his weakest area, apart from self-care. I think it's a bit of a chicken-egg situation, nobody can say if the DCD causes ds to be delayed or if the delay causes the CDC..

You can be polite about it btw. But your time is important as is your child's.

If the OT isn't making a difference there are two options 1)Carry on wasting the OT's time and your childs. 2)Release the OT to help children that he/she CAN help and make time avaible to your child to something else that DOES do something/a different OT with a different skillset.

If you were a private client, would you carry on paying and visiting someone who you thought was ineffective?

It's a reasonable question.

wasuup3000 Fri 12-Apr-13 13:15:52

Do you think he is globally delayed or that there is osmething else going on? If you feel there is something else going on ask for a 2nd opinion is what I would advise.

babiki Fri 12-Apr-13 13:13:36

Wasuup, I was told by everybody (GP, peadetrician, Nhs OT) that beacuse he is globally delayed they won't diagnose him. The problem is that if a learning disability is present, this is the way they do it in UK.

Icedcakeandflower Fri 12-Apr-13 13:03:22

I'm going to do it, and copy to the HT at school!

wasuup3000 Fri 12-Apr-13 12:57:07

If a private OT has suggested dyspraxia (DCD) then surely that is what he has a diagnosis of - Is it a paediatrician that won't formalise the OT opinion or is it or CAMHs or others. If so you can ask for a 2nd opinion either ask your GP to refer you to GOSH or the Maudsley or tell your NHS professionals that you want a 2nd opinion for your son.

babiki Fri 12-Apr-13 12:55:52

Icedcakeandflowe- all of us saddled with useless therapists should send it on the same day smile

So send it. Otherwise what is the point of your making the effort to attend that appointment?

Icedcakeandflower Fri 12-Apr-13 12:53:06

You can also send a letter/email to all those involved, saying you've been asked who you want to invite to the next TAC so please could they answer one question: 'How long has ds been on your caseload? What outcomes have there been for him as a direct result of this?'

grin I really really want to send something like this to my OT grin

babiki Fri 12-Apr-13 12:49:13

Wassup thank you, that's good advice but I think for later.

Cause I don't have any issues atm I need to sort out with them..ds is happy at preschool, in love with his 1-1, they work very hard with ds without any help from NHS people (of course looks like lots of help on the paper) by following private programme we do at home..

I don't trust them, they are bad at their job, so I just don't see the point. And the things I would like them to do (such as diagnose DCD which was suggested by private OT) they won't do, cause ds is too young and so far everything has been hidden under the GDD label.

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