Right. About 5 weeks ago, my DS1's dad rang SS and told them that I was 'making things up' about my DC's health.
SW came out, saw massive bundle of 15 years worth of medical paperwork.
I thought that would be case closed.
SW spoke to health, namely the old HV (not my HV any more...) who said she felt that I was 'over-exaggerating' their health issues.
Why would she say that? Because she advised a MS nursery for DS3, yet MS Nurseries all said they don't feel that they can manage DS3's dairy allergy without FT 1-2-1 help.
So I personally found a perfect SN Nursery.
Also had a specialist pre-school assessor out to decide about Portage.
She said her report to the pre-school education board would be sensory integration therapy, Portage in the home until DS3 starts Nursery, and a recommendation that DS3 attends the SN Nursery that I had sourced!
Old HV disagreed, stating that she felt that he needed to be around 'developmentally normal' DC's at Nursery for them to model 'proper' behaviour to him...
Ultimately though, pre-school assessor agrees that he has issues, SN Nursery teacher and HT agree he has issues...
BUT, as old HV has said I'm 'over exaggerating' DS3's issues, the SS case isn't closed and he wants to cone out again on the 15th.
Are they looking at FII?!
I'm actually scared now.
This happens every time I try to push for the help that my DC's need.
I'm NOT over exaggerating their issues - health wise they have the dxd issues they have, and they also have the other issues that aren't fully dxd that I'm currently attempting to get dxd. (Autism - currently DD and DS2 are down as 'Autistic traits' but have never had a formal assessment.)
What do I do if they are looking at FII?!
I really need some help and advice here.
To put things in perspective, I have had prior involvement (10 years ago) with CP, on the basis that when DD was born I was still under 18 and on the 'at risk' register myself, which meant that DD automatically went on there.
I had ongoing issues for about 4 years (I drank too much for a bit, I lost twins and asked SS for some support as DD was hard to manage and they put her in FC for 2 weeks about 14 years ago...)
I'm now tee-total, and that issue has gone.
No proper involvement from the for 10 years except when they have received malicious calls from Ex's - about 6 times previous to this one, last one being around 4 years ago, but before this, nothing major - come out, see the house & kids, then close the case.
SW DID seen shocked by the fact that neither the Primary or Secondary here invite you in to do IEP meetings. I know they should, and tried to fight it for the first 4/5 years of being here, but I just accepted that at these two schools, they don't do that - which they don't, it's not just me they don't bring in!
These issues AREN'T fabricated, they are really very real, but I get threatened with this every time I try to push for the help and support my DC's should have.
One other potential point of contention for the SW... the child's home is NEVER considered neutral ground. Neutral ground is somewhere that neither party involved has an increased comfort level or familiarity (like a coffee shop or a community meeting place). The SW's office, or the school might tip the scales in the favour of the SW, but "at home, upstairs" is definitely not neutral.
I would have been happier taking them to the SS offices than it being done at the school!
I'm certainly not going to go stellar about it, much as I might like to. I'm going to treat it as a cock-up for now, and ask them politely not to change these appointments without contacting me first so that I have a chance to talk to my DC's first to explain that a lady will be coming to see them, as DS1 was worried that he was in trouble when he was called out of class, and couldn't work put what he had done wrong!
So it did upset him a bit, and I feel I have a right to politely point that out.