My son is 5. He is articulate, charming, caring and enthusiastic... about what he is interested in. Fortunately, he has a broad range if interests and likes to learn about the world. But only what HE wants to know at that particular time. He finds it terribly frustrating to follow the direction of others unless they are 'helping him' (going along with) what he would like to do anyway. He has been difficult to manage for this reason in both nurseries and his Reception class. The constant necessity for the teacher to repeat instructions causes alienation from his peers - they perceive him as naughty as he doesn't just do as he is told. I don't know whether to get him assessed. He has to sit on his own to do his work now ;( Parents are surprised at how charming and nice he us when he goes on play dates (all two he has been invited to)! His first cousin has asperges but us v different- not particularly articulate and has typical traits such as avoiding eye contact. My son is particularly interested in electricity and will gladly sit for hours asking questions about it... but gets soooo frustrated if the conversation isn't directed by him and you start talking when he's about to / yearning to ask about something he's thinking about. Busy brained child. Exhausted and alienated mummy. Pls excuse typos. Using phone. Too tired to proof read and edit.
'If he is at private school, where do I stand regarding having state support?'
Well, technically you're still a tax payer but some LA's will refuse support to someone at an independent school (unless they have managed to get that independent school onto the child's statement on the basis that there are no adequate state alternatives).
I'm afraid Hertfordshire is without a doubt one of the ones that will refuse.
Head of Infants just calls him 'eccentric' and said he will go one if two ways: decide to follow directions as he sees his peers progress as a result - or rebel and become naughty. She said, two weeks ago, to wait until half term and chat again before having an assessment.
Im afraid I would want to give that SENCO/head of year a good smack around the head. No matter what is causing the problem, by the time your DS has decided to rebel and become naughty its too late well not too late but itll be a damn sight harder to get him back on track if he does eventually get a diagnosis, because his experience of school will have been so negative.
I would go to the GP, saying pretty much what youve told us here, pointing out that your sons schooling is already being affected and his social development too, and ask for a referral.
I will go for the assessment. Just it's sooo expensive n I want to be armed with views of all who are involved with him. I even asked the Easter camp he did 2 days of to give their input and they said I should think of going for it as he did like to do things HIS way all the time and he was noticeably different. Don't get me wrong. 'Different' I don't have issue with. In fact, I welcome individuality. Car and truck pushers (normal boy stuff) bores me and I find my son very stimulating. But when it's affecting his social and educational development (peers and teachers frustrated and put off), enough is enough!