Here some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.

Just finished reading Tony Attwoods; A complete guide to Apergers...and

(18 Posts)
Ineedmorepatience Tue 05-Mar-13 18:59:37

You are so right. I think this teacher could be good one day but he has a lot to learn about differentiation.

Maryz Tue 05-Mar-13 18:29:16

Yes, I would.

I copied loads of articles to my son't teachers over the years. The good teachers were grateful - it made their lives easier too.

The bad teachers just carried on in ignorance (and must have dreaded every day with him).

Ineedmorepatience Tue 05-Mar-13 16:16:53

Thankyou maryz do you think I would get away with dropping a copy on Dd3's literacy teachers desk? I have had terrible trouble trying to get him to understand why we have so much trouble with homework.

silverfrog Tue 05-Mar-13 16:13:13

Mareeya, love your suggestions for emoticons. We need those right now!

hurricanewyn Tue 05-Mar-13 16:11:00

Thank you Maryz - that article explained a lot of tears & tantrums not just DS's at homework time.

Seems obvious now I've read it. Be strictly compartalises the rest of his life, why would this be any different?

Maryz Tue 05-Mar-13 15:59:17

Hang on, this might be it.

Maryz Tue 05-Mar-13 15:57:44

Oh, no, sorry Ineed, it seems to be gone.

There was an article on this site but it isn't there any more. I'll see if I can find it anywhere else.

The other articles are worth reading, though, especially the one about grandparents - they were great for explaining things to other people.

The homework one was essentially how children with AS compartmentalise their lives, and for them schoolwork should be done at school, and home activities done at home. For ds this was an iron-clad rule - he simply didn't do any homework and was punished a lot for saying things like "homework is set by lazy teachers who can't teach properly at school" hmm.

Similarly, he could never understand toys or games in school - why on earth would you do lego in school, when you would just have to clear it up and put it back in the box when you were half way through?

The Attwood article was about all this, and was an eye-opener for me (and for the one and only teacher that ds had who was interested in reading it - the others didn't bother).

Ineedmorepatience Tue 05-Mar-13 15:49:42

I am a little confused by this thread but wanted to know where I can read Tony Attwoods essay on Homework can you do a linky maryz pleeeeze. Homework is one of my biggest headaches.

Sorry for the hijack.

Maryz Tue 05-Mar-13 15:32:31

I love Tony Attwood.

It was him who reassured me (at a seminar) that I couldn't have "taught" ds to have Asperger's. My sil asserts that I taught him by living to a routine - what she didn't understand, and still doesn't understand, is that a routine was necessary to survive. But when I asked Tony Attwood he told me that unless I had seriously neglected him for years I couldn't have been the cause - which made me feel much better.

I also love his essay on Homework - I quoted from that a lot over the years grin

MareeyaDolores Tue 05-Mar-13 14:52:48

Oh good. I'll stop getting a headache, and go back to assuming words on a screen are mostly upfront and straightforward grin

troutsprout Tue 05-Mar-13 14:51:31

Executive secretary ... Lol. << preens>>
Think I may have pitched above my weight on this job application though :-)

There's no subtext. I just said cheers.

So not sure why this time and 'as always' I have dampened the OP's spirits, unless the OP is offended by people who drink wine!? confused

MareeyaDolores Tue 05-Mar-13 14:32:02

I confused took cheers wine to mean cheers wink rather than cheers hmm

Maybe MNSN needs some extra emoticons.
I propose:

[aspartame] for excess fake sweetness
[knife] for real backstabbing
[carrot] for professional patronising
[honk] for general support
[postcard] for all suggestions welcome

PS this is mainly in jest, but not entirely. I'm not great at decoding subtext (and no prizes for guessing where ds gets that trait)


grinnbareit Tue 05-Mar-13 11:27:34

smile moosemama I'm glad you can see where I'm coming from. As always starlight your post has put an end to my high spirits...thanks.

Excellent. From now on I will insist in all meetings that I am credited in the minutes as ds' Executive Secretary and Advocate, instead of parent.

Cheers wine

moosemama Tue 05-Mar-13 10:17:20

grin I often say I am my ds's personal assistant/secretary, which is quite funny really as that's what I trained to do at college years ago - and I was bloody good at it too! grin

In fact, like you, I do feel like have to be a secretary for all three dcs. I often wonder what happened over the past 20 years that means that we have to do huge amounts of school related paperwork and organisation, when my parents didn't have to think about anything more than just making sure we got to school and were picked up on time. confused

It is annoying when people say things like 'he'll never learn if you let him get away with it' and I do find that even people that think they understand about ASD are still inclined to say this. Yes, there are some things that he can do unsupported and I encourage, even expect, him to do those - but there are other things that no matter how many times I teach or show him how/when to do, he still needs reminding, every single time.

I had it this morning from a family member about zipping up his coat - I had to explain - again - that he does try, every single day to do it himself, he just can't. He is nearly 11 and has been trying to master zips since he was about three - my three year old dd can do it, as can my hypermobile, 8 year old ds, but ds1 can't - so I encourage him to try - then I help him.

I am often exhausted, frequently frustrated and regularly exasperated - but I love my job and wouldn't change it for the world. smile

Bit early for wine for me grin but I'll glady have a brew with you. smile

grinnbareit Tue 05-Mar-13 10:05:06

Mr Attwood has finally made me realize that I am not an over protective mother who has made my Ds dependent by constantly helping him (thanks for the useless input from uneducated people over the years!), It's there, in black and white! I am in fact his 'Executive secretary' and I am loving the job title (ok so really I am heartbroken that my Ds will need me to constantly help him to succeed with the smallest of tasks which come naturly to most for the unforseeable future) but hey I would say that's the best job title I have ever had and it gives me great pleasure that it is for someone very close to my Ds smile.

So from this point on I am no longer a stay at home mum, who does nothing but wrap my Dc up in cotton wool (thanks for the input mum, very helpful), comments such as "he will never learn if you don't leave him to it!" (thanks bruv I wish you had pointed this out sooner, that will be why at the age of 7 he will just stand in the middle of his room looking lost if I don't give him constant verbal instructions, cheers!), "It must be so hard for you every morning due to his dawdling?" (from teacher with very sympathetic look on her face) eerrrmmm no because I help him, rather than happily watch him struggle with what he is doing.

Sitting back and giving it some thought, I have realized that I am also a secretary for my younger Dd, but that's fine I believe I have more than enough experience to pull this off grin.

So to all you other secretaries out there I would like to offer a wine and congratulate us all on the outstanding jobs we are doing.....CHEERS!!

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