Mumsnet Talk

Long backstory but fii suspicions have been raised about me.
There is no truth in it and (afaik) there is no further action atm but of course I am worried.

Ds has history of quite bad eczema. gps not overly helpful. was once sent to see dermatology at hosp and they were brill, but 2 years ago. called them and they said have to go thru gp.

went to gp mid dec. asked for usual cream. gp refused and prescribed another that we have not had success with in past. it helped, but only a bit. meantime ds been badly bullied and eczema flared really badly. went to gp y'day and she was a bit about how bad it was. she asked me what cream i was using and I took it out of my handbag - I had brought the wrong one - it was out of date (it had just been kicking around in there) but she was really really annoyed and asked 'had I actually been using the correct one' - I said I had, but she was still . It was at home on the bathroom shelf. I could have kicked myself. She gave us antibiotics and an allergy syrup for at night to help him sleep and not scratch. she then gave us the original cream we had asked for (which does work). I can get him to comply with putting the cream on. It stings and he fights like fury. It all gets rubbed off. GP said NOT to put dressings on (which is what I have done, just overnight, to keep the cream on, in the past). I have to take him back on Mon, there is a multiagency meeting on Fri, and I am scared.

I have sent him to school today with a number of 'open' (like a fresh graze) patches (about 8 in total). Do I email the school to advise them that he saw gp y'day, will see on mon, have been advised not to cover, etc.????

Do I contact gp again and say I am struggling to get him to comply with the cream? In the surgery she suggested he put it on himself (snowballs chance in hell...) and he agreed, which would be great, if he'd actually do it

What's the name of the cream, meimohrs?

elocon

i've emailed school to let them know we'vw been to gp and what was advised.

Elocon shouldn't be used on broken skin.

I think you need to perhaps go to the chemist? Ask them for advice, because the Elocon should not be used on broken skin (the biggest challenge with eczema, IMO) and will sting like absolute fire.

I had elocon and even on inflamed skin it was excruciatingly stingy. I had to just force myself to rub it in and it felt like fire for several minutes - and I'm an adult!

we have used elocon to control the eczema in the past.
we went back and asked for some more mid dec.
we were given fusidic acid (betamethasone) instead which has never worked for us but the gp was adament.
we tried it, it helped a wee bit, we stopped swim lessons, he was off school, we staggered thru.
since the flare its really bad again.
gp now given us the elecon.
just called chemist and he said; 'must go with gp advice'.
Prob is: she told him to put it on himself (yeah, right...) and wait till it dried. he agreed, like he does in these situations <eyeroll>
It stings like billeo, there is no way he will do it. refused last night. I tried but he cried and rubbed it all off over sheets.
The only way ive ever got it on in past is last thing at night and i put a clean dressing over to keep in on his skin overnight (he just rubs it on sheets , carpet etc otherwise). I take the dressing off in morning to let skin breathe.
gp said NO dressings ('you are medicalising it' )
as they attract 'strep' (germs?)
I am just off up to school to take in his lunchtime dose of antib's (so they can see I am complying). Worried.

Just a suggestion - could you book an appointment with nurse at the surgery? Take the cream with you and explain the situation ie GP has prescribed this cream, your DS won't apply himself and rubs it off when you apply it. Ask if she has any ideas? Explain your previous strategy of applying a dressing but you've now been advised not to do this. At least then she could try to apply it and see your DS's reaction and you'll have a witness (albeit not wholly independent) that it is your DS who is averse to having the cream applied and not that you merely aren't bothering.

Well the covering I can understand. The cream has steroids in it and covering the site of application results in more cream being absorbed than should be. That means that the steroids which should have just affected the skin are becoming systemic and affecting the whole body. This is particularly so for children. The worst is when the cream is used on the buttocks, then a nappy is applied.

Could you try offering an ice pack on the area first (covered in a tea towel, of course) so that it reduces the sensation? The amount of cream he needs should be barely visible once applied. You shouldn't have a layer of cream visible.

I understand re the covering. I dont like to put coverings on his skin anyway as he tends to 'react' to the glues in plasters/dressings.
I will try the icepack with a teatowel thanks. The novelty of it, and the fact he can do it himself, might help.
The skin is very broken though, and weepy, and it is hard to get a thin layer of nippy cream on, and for him to stay still for it to dry.
We have a big prob with med eye drops which he is supposed to have in summer too.
We have only ever had 2 splinters. The 1st was so awful that when we got the 2nd and he was in a state i called up local hosp and asked for advice and they told me to bring him in. After 40mins they gave up and said they would have to sedate him (which obv no one wanted). they advised me to #hope it works its way out' (it did in the end). Not an easy boy to help, sadly, and not his (or our) fault he gets so upset.
I'll try the ice pack, try the nurse, go back to gp if no joy.
thanks.x.

That cream should not be used on broken skin. If it's that bad, you need something else I think.

Paracetamol AND ibuprofen maximum doses 30min before cream application. Then what lougle said.

YY to see practice nurse, and/or GP again. Bring all the creams with you this time . Most creams sting, because they have water and preservatives in them. Greasy-ointment-steroid is not as bad, because it's less complicated: just fat and medication. In fairness to the GP, they can't calm the eczema down without a steroid, so it looks like some sort of stingy potion has to go on.

just googled: elocon comes as ointment as well as cream... d'you think GP wd switch it if you (or the pharmacist/ practice nurse) asked nicely?

the antibiotics will help but take a couple of days to get going

thanks, maria. will do that. can i give that with oral antibiotics too? (hes' been given fluoxacillin). Sorry - i will check with chemist - i dont mean to ask for drug advice on here, that's prob a bad idea, lol!

YY re steriod creams WILL sting, its just getting ds to comply. Just that, 2 years ago we went up to hosp and they were FAB and gave us about 4 diff lotions and creams etc and none of them stung like elocon and cleared it right up in about a week. Elocon stings and he is never actually eczema free anyway

they know he has probs complying with his med eye drops in summer (same reasons) and, the 2nd time he ever got a splinter, we ended up at the childrens ward where they tried (unsuccessfully) for 40 mins to get it out. He wouldnt let them anywhere NEAR him. they said they'd have to sedate him, which obv no one wanted, so we'd have to 'hope it worked its way out' (eventually it did).
They were at the size of his reaction though, so they should understand that its not simply a matter of 'getting him to put his own (stingy) cream on'.

thanks for advice. will try again when he comes home from school. painkillers, icepack with towel, aided by computer / icecream / whatever.
its like all the other (fairly minor) issues - no actual practical help, lots of ' ing by professionals and child still tends to suffer. Grr.

wish me luck..x.x.x

ah now eyedrops... my specialist subject (best friend's dc had terrible eye issues and has literally tried all sorts) Nedocromil stings really horribly. Sodium cromoglycate not as bad but 6hourly so pain in the ar*e. Olopatadine not too stingy but it's a bit 'rare' (they got it off eye specialist to start with). Ended up with steroid eyedrops which is normally a no-no, but little choice.

Steroid nose spray eventually opened up the tear ducts nicely, which in combination with antihistamines calmed down the eye allergy indirectly.

How very interesting that you know all this about eye drops, maria!

Its sodium cromoglycate that he has (from about March - sept). He HATES them. We started a 'climb the rainbow staircase' type thing with psy at hosp last summer but were unable to complete it due to all the other drama going on at the time Thing is, he does his 'rainbow stairs' stuff and enjoys it as he is getting kindly focussed attention from other adults, but then gets home and says: 'NO! <sigh>

Interesting about the steriod nose spray though. Maybe worth a try this year if no joy with drops. I wish he'd just use them, they are not too bad and he suffers so much without them.

MNSN never fails to amaze me with specialist knowlege

Her dc has awful eczema too (plus asthma, and reactions to some foods...) and she does this as well as the medical treatments. And she got some special t-shirts off ebay second hand, as local NHS says they're too expensive and not proven.

Just back from with said friend . she says tell you nedocromil is amazing and worth the pain.

Also says that if you sneak up on a deeply sleeping dc, you can usually get it in without waking them and without them noticing the sting (maybe cos lids been closed so eyes nice and moist???)

THANK YOU, Maria

He has had chlorphenamine maleate the last 2 nights (gp gave it to us as to help him not to scratch at night). He has scratched much less (clean sheets this am) and woken up with difficulty but in a much better mood. He was <whispers so as not to tempt the fates> cheerful at breakfast Just shows what DK said about him being sleep deprived was backing up what we've been saying {all his life...} and we should have had help with this aaaaages ago.

I got the cream on him last night too with a combo of everyones advice and me doing a marathon of Harry Potter book 5 {read to him for over an hour solid... hufflepuff!}

Have been thinking of strategy for meeting.
Am going in - and hopefully with godma's help - to ask if they have been continuing strategies - yes or no? Dont want to get bogged down in their justifying why not - just need it on record - y/n. have already made points about communication and bullying on sheet I returned so wont get involved in lots of {lies} discussion about that. Might well ask at end, offer of private ed looks like it may still be possible, assume that IF we went down this direction it would not cause further complications? I dont see how they can threaten SS/CP for us saying we might take up an 85% bursary for a private ed, but if they do make these kind of mutterings I'll know it was never worth the risk (and also that they might cause trouble if we tried to move so can plan accordingly?). Tis a bit risky, but maybe worthwhile as I am SURE they will know all about the lawyers letter to private school ANYWAY. They seem to have been spooked by - in their words - us "agreeing to all their opinions" {not, they dont leave us time to speak at the end of the meetin} and then going off and doing something else so I thought it might be worth running it past them, casual like. I'll see what the tone is like.

Magically, ds and dd both came home with pupil of the week certificates again! Magically, ds class did not have their spelling test y'day.
Magically, ds spelling/writing book has finally turned up at school. His reading book has been backdated by CT (!).

No magical apparition of the Minutes from last July yet though.
I expect they have 'lost' them

Why r u Stiiiiiil considering Private School after everything folk on this board said to you???? I don't recall a single poster thinking it would be a good idea, not least because they didn't want your ds, were not supportive of SEN, & a Lawyers letter is not going to change that intrinsic attitude. It really would be out of the frying pan into the fire. Regardless of a Bursary, your ds, by your own postings, struggles academically, so I cannot understand why you would want to subject him to more stress. Also, as was pointed out, a change to the Private school would still mean the same Health Profs. which is where a lot of your problems are.
IMO you would be better to bide your time at this school, & try & fight with your Education Lawyer to get better support for ds.
Go to this meeting on Friday, & listen to what they have to say. Don't get into arguments & as Starlight said, don't tell them any future plans you have-eg, seeing Education Lawyer. Good Luck.

I know bigpants.
But he has a very high IQ and is dyslexic.
The school he is at at the moment will not help him for another 4 years.
Even with a tribunal win, they will still (not) implement measures.
Unless they surprise me on Friday. I hope they do.

The private school will not be helpful. They will not say 'oh my goodness he's bright...let's give him support with his dyslexia because no child ever before with dyslexia has been bright.'

It is a private school. They don't have LA support. They don't have SN budgets. If a child needs SN support, the parents pay.

The only difference between this school and the one you're at, in terms of support is that you currently pay nothing for no support, and you'll then be paying 15% fees for no support, with no recourse for complaint.

A solicitor's letter threatening them unless they take your DS is really going to set you up for a positive working relationship

This is no fairytale story, miemhors. There isn't a 'happily ever after' waiting in the wings where you are. There really isn't. Much as I'd love there to be.

It was obvious that the private school didn't want your ds last time around and would not support his SEN so what's changed?
I know of a child who is incredibly bright with a scholarship to a top notch private school but appears to have some undiagnosed sn's. He hardly ever attends school because of his anxieties but the parents are still paying the sizeable termly fee's . Also, I have relative who is a dht at a private school and often mentions the 'quirky' children there who they 'have to put up with' . These children get no help and I was told that providing the fee's are paid the school doesn't worry about them or their problems.
If you put your ds into such a school it will be out of the frying pan into the fire.

I dont think it is such a school or I wouldnt even consider it still.
I know my ds is dyslexic. and has SEN.
He will receive 1:1 help for this and lots of support. The HT is dyslexic and on a crusade to help. He will wait 4 years for the chance of help here, and then may not get it either.
There is no LA support or SN budget avail to my son here, as, according to them, he needs no help anyway (there is little for far more profoundly affected children anyway).
I know he needs ways to suceed at school which dont involve reading and writing. There are many many opportunities at that school. If ds saw the art / modelling / science facilities I think he would cry.
I dont know if my son has SN / asd. I have a noncommital dx. Report does say he has asd traits, esp anxiety. He needs a school where the teachers are motivated and kind. He has been to 2 diff science workshops at 2 diff private school open mornings over the last 2 years and he has LOVED it. The science teachers have beamed back at him. At his local school, he tries extra hard, takes in (unusual) projects and they are at him and roll their eyes.

I have spoken to 3 diff parents at the school of kids with SEN and SN and they all say it is great, really great. Inc a very dyslexic child, a deaf child and another. They tell me that the school 'looks after them' and encourages the other children to look after them too.
I think they panicked about the extra costs that might be involved when they read the dx report. Possibly also the CP issues raised by the local Pead. You can understand it, tbh. I only want the chance to go back and speak to them, gloves off. If I have ANY gut feeling at all that they wouldnt treasure my son, I would walk away very quickly.

My decision at this stage is ONLY whether to run this past the Pead if she turns up tomorrow, or not?