Dinky is 5 in 10 days and we are just starting out with CAMHS/integrated services, have a CAF form filled in and a CAF planning meeting being held next week. (dinky is having 'behavioural and emotional difficulties' at school and home)
There are a few ways of looking at the situation and I'm lost....
Firstly, I'm sick of everyone saying that all the things that are being uncovered as 'issues' are down to our housing predicament. (we are technically homeless living in a hostel since April 2012) as soon as anyone hears hostel they say "oh we'll, she is 4 and it's a difficult situation".
So if that is the case why did the Playgroup say dinky was "going backwards" in jan 2012... Nearly 4 months before we were made homeless!
How come she started having full scale meltdowns at 18 months and hasn't stopped, yet we only were made homeless 9 and a half months ago.
Why does she still chew toys at nearly 5 years old. Why do alarm barriers in shopping centres send her into meltdowns. Why has she always hidden or had her hands over her ears everytime I get the Hoover out? Can all this stuff that I thought was normalish that started when she was little be discounted because a few years on we were made homeless? Sure the homelessness made the behaviour worse but it only made people pay more attention to her 'quirks'...
I'm also worried because people I have met/know with children who have ASD diagnosis say dinky is almost defininetly on the spectrum and ask me loads of questions which make me feel like crap because I didn't think they were issues! One person is wholly convinced dinky is AS or high functioning ASD that she has sent an email with all the things she has noticed and quotes with accompanying links to websites explaining the differences between boys and girls presentation of ASD/AS.
The thing is do I let CAMHS decide for themselves or do I say something because I don't want the housing issue to cloud the judgement. (I spoke to a child clinical psychologist from young minds and she was totally fixed on the housing thing even though I told her most of the things I was talking about started months/years before the homelessness.)
What will CAMHS make of it if I bring up what I have read from my friend? Will they think I want an ASD diagnosis.. Because I don't think anyone wants there to be an issue with their DC, and I know full well that just because it seems to fit doesn't mean it will be the dx...
I need some friendly mum advice.....
Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.
SN children
I don't know what to do.... Any advice greatly appreciated..
Dinkysmummy · 07/02/2013 11:29
Tell them as much as they ask about your housing situation. Don't lie, but don't try to find 'explanations' for possible behaviour (I am incredibly guilty of doing this!)
If it helps reassure you at all, in my experience, people always try to find explanations or excuses for things. I have spent over 5 years being told there is nothing 'wrong' with DD1, that she is highly intelligent and just needing pushed in the next stage of her life (playgroup > nursery > P1 > P2 etc). It took me years working alongside behavioural support workers until one finally said "You need to have her assessed by CAMHS, there's nothing else for us to try." It was terrifying but such a relief that someone finally believed me!
We had our first appointment with CAMHS last November and I felt like shit, as they made comments like "Oh, you're obviously a worrier, it's no surprise she is anxious" and "She was very young when you split with her father" 
I felt like they were making excuses and felt we would get nowhere. However, they referred us to a Primary Mental Health Worker, and asked me and the school to complete different questionnaires and reports, and despite me originally dismissed, the facts are there in black and white, and we are due in 5 days to go back to CAMHS for diagnosis. MHW is adamant that she will be diagnosed with combined ADHD. She is also off the charts for ASD and SPD which we will review after starting treatment for ADHD.
My point (I do have one! lol) is that it is very common to have people try to make excuses and "buts" for things, but YOU know your child. If you have concerns, you owe it to your child to push for assessment. They will look at all the excuses and reasons, but when the facts are there, they can work with them, and - whilst we sometimes have to fight for it - you and Dinky will get the help you need, and deserve.
Be super-clear about your chronology of symptoms, perhaps put it on a little handout 
with social problems / housing issues chronology underneath. Timelines are very effective (who says visual aids are for ASD dc; I find they're much more useful for professionals 
)
And while you're there, point out which of those problems the hostel has made worse, and by approximately how much... cos if this is minuted you can submit it to housing and it might help your 'medical and social need' priority banding / points score.
thanks I love the visual aids for professionals!
I have been trying to work out exactly how things progressed, I think I will have to write it all down. I have some development sheets from the childminder, unfortunately she didn't do them frequently so there are a few at random points between age 1 and 3.5 and then one when she left at 4 and a bit.
Thanks for your advice 
The CAF meeting was yesterday and dinky has been refused all services as they have taken the line that it is all housing related.
I knew this would happen! But she is still on SEN at school action because of her behavioural and emotional difficulties and will still see the play therapist. However the deputy/senco is suggesting that as soon as we are housed she will be fine.
I'm so angry that they haven't listened to the word before
So we are at square -1
Wow,
Can you tell I'm a sen newbie?
Housingwise, the CAF planning panel said there was diddly squat they could do about our housing, the council won't take any letters from outside agencies into consideration... So it is wait your turn... It is done on bandings and we are in A band going into A+ in April, we shouldn't be here more than another 5 months. Which doesn't seem long as we have been here 10 months.
I will have to wait and put up with no support until we move and then say.. "oh dinky hasn't changed at all! What a suprise!" although knowing them they will wait and wait and wait until it gets to a year down the line and they scratch their heads and say "oh, maybe it wasn't all housing related if she is still the same now"
Agnesdipesto
Wow, I didn't realise there was a back door!
We aren't getting DLA. Don't I need the doctors (who are bloody useless at the best of times), and the school (who believe its all housing related) to agree that she needs extra support? I don't think either would be helpful if I made a claim...
Thank you all for your support 
I went to the senco today and told her I wasn't happy at the outcome of the CAF. I also gave her bullet points of PDA and she agreed that dinky meets every single bullet point. She is going to look it up and ask the play therpaist for her input and get more info from the teacher and go from there.
She says it still might not be the case, my point was, even if it isn't she has agreed dinky hits all the criteria so it's worth looking at even if it turns out not to be. The senco agreed and said they would have a look at pda strategies during inset day Monday after half term and Apply them when we come back and see if it makes a difference to dinky and the teacher.
I contacted PDAcontact and spoke to someone, they agreed that dinky sounds 'classic PDA', and gave me some advice.
I feel I have my foot on the first rung of a lofty ladder! The main thing is that we are on a rung and not flailing for it.
You never know I might get used to the alphabet soup one day.... (BESD/ASD/PDA/SEN/SENco/SA+/FLW/CAMHS/DLA/ ect)
You do have to put drs details on the form I think but they dont always contact. You can get anyone to write supporting info eg a friend (helps if a responsible job), a childminder, the B&B owner etc
You can also ask for your child to be assessed by the DLA Dr instead of putting any supporting info
For DLA its about what the needs / difficulties are, not what has caused them. You don't need a diagnosis.
Cerebra do a useful guide for DLA you can get ideas from
Sounds like the SENCO may be happy to write something for you on the supporting info page.
Our HV was so lazy she told me to draft something and she would sign it 
.
If you have a good relationship with the SENCO you could say you are going to apply for a statement as even if you don't get one you feel the assessments that would come with it will be useful to deciding what is going on.
Will the SENCO agree to your child be seeing by the Ed Psych - all schools get x EP days a year and you could ask for the school to refer to EP. You can also refer to EP yourself.
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