We had our first trip back to ds's sn nursery this morning after Xmas break. I was dreading it, as the last time we went ds was hysterical after I had left the room and got held up by the SALT. Plus, my friend's little boy has moved up to the preschool room (she normally drives us)...in fact all the children ds's age has moved up to the preschool room. Anyway, we had arranged transport with a local LINK service, but the driver, left the car up the road, so I had to leave ds in the house whilst I lugged the car seat up the road and fitted it. By the time I came back, he was screaming the place down, this carried on for the whole 25 minute journey.
So we get to nursery, and ds will not be put down, and just buries his head in my chest, every time someone talks to him, he screams, and sobs. IT WAS HELL! The SALT came over to talk to me, and discuss the plans for the next 10 weeks ( he will be moving to a preschool in April ), and whether I was going to be able to arrange transport, and, well, I just lost it, completely.
Months worth of pent up frustration came pouring out, and I wasn't my usual tearful self, I was fucking furious. I said I was appalled at the way that the manageress of the centre had referred to ds as a 'controlling little article' and ' a manipulative so and so'. I was frustrated by the fact that in order to access SALT we had to go to the centre, but ds's physio and OT were not allowed to work with them, and angry that no-one at the centre had bothered to discuss with me any plans wrt preschool, or arrange any DISMS, and constantly failed to discuss things with me, and constantly made negative comments about the fact that I can't drive.
And then I said how hard it was to see ds's peers move on, and ds be left behind in the baby room with the 1 year olds, and I admit I may have then had a bit of a lip wobble, and then I looked up and she had 2 fat tears rolling down her cheeks! I felt awful, because she is actually lovely, and I respect her a lot, which is probably why I let such a tsunami of frustration out to her.
I don't know if I can be stripped of goosedom, or awarded some sort of black rotten, uncaring carrot, but I think I may have overstepped the mark.
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I have just made ds's SALT cry, more than a little appalled with myself!
hazeyjane · 10/01/2013 12:43
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Aw, bless you. Please don't worry. She was probably just crying in sympathy with you. Don't think she or anyone would blame you for letting out frustration. God, we're all only human, and have to put up with so so sooooo much more than any other 'normal' parent - the services/provision/system is the thing that makes it hardest I think, much more than the SN itself. And we have to battle on and on and on, keeping everything unemotional and objective when we're talking about our own children. It is an incredibly hard thing to do.
If anything it's a good thing that a professional sees the human side to it all. She sounds lovely and I'm sure will understand. Just make sure next time you vent to a really awful, up-their-own-arse, useless HCP 
If it makes you feel any better, I once reduced our SENCO to tears! 
Yep, sounds like sympathy tears to me as well.
But if you feel you overstepped the mark, nothing wrong with a box of chocolates and a little card saying what you said here. She can even put it in her annual PREP appraisal file, patient feedback is one of the things they ask for
'thank you for listening, I think I went OTT, just needed to get it all off my chest to someone we trust. We really appreciate your help during all this time, hope you knew that already'
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I never seem have anything articulate to say but...
and then later 
although if you've had cherries in liqueur already, you've started early so now is fine.
I'd rather have a boozy cherry than a manky manly carrot .
I wouldn't worry at all, I think she sounds lovely and that she was empathising with you. I am 
at the manager of an SN preschool calling a child controlling and manipulative. That's just disgusting. And I'm glad you told another HCP about it in a way that made it clear that the words hurt.
To be scrupulously honest though, I'm a weeper so have sniffed into the ears of practically every early years worker in Lothian. I once snotted on a SALTs shoulder.
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