DS1 has Asperger's Syndrome and ADHD. He is 12.
In November, he started taking Strattera (atomoxetine) as very much a last resort to help him concentrate at school. I tormented myself, and worried and researched because I was very apprehensive about giving him medication.
He was alright, but about 3/4 weeks ago started with a low-mood - not being his usual smiley, happy self. I spoke to CAMHS about it, and they said that it was probably a temporary side effect of the medication and that it would wear off if we gave it a few more weeks. (apparently atomoxetine can take up to 12 weeks to start to show differences)
Anyhoo, yesterday he seemed ok - same thing, a little bit down and grumpy.
He was up in his room, playing lego - and he came downstairs in tears carrying his dead hamster in a box. (He had the hamster since August, she was his friend and he absolutely adored her)
He told me that he had found her like that in her bed. She was clearly dead, still warm and soft (so she had not been dead very long at all) she was perfect, no marks, no obvious signs of illness - except a little blood round her mouth.
She smelled a bit of his body spray - and he told me he had been spraying some around his room and was worried he'd poisoned her.
Then he told me that she had fallen inside her cage.
Finally, after a little more probing he told me that he had dropped her onto the floor.
So, I wasn't entirely sure what to do/say - obviously dropping her was an accident so I wasn't going to be cross with a clearly devastated little boy. Except... he didn't seem that devastated He'd only started crying when he saw me.
He then went to his room, and about 5 minutes later my partner went up to speak with him. As he was going into Ds's room - he found DS rocking back and forth on his bed saying "I don't know why I did it" over and over.
He then confessed to my partner that he had killed her, he said he "blanked out" and it was as if he was out of himself watching someone else do it. He was holding her and she nipped him - so he strangled her and threw her on the floor.
My partner brought him down to speak to me. We spoke, and in trying to get to the bottom of why he'd done this - he confessed that over the past few weeks he has been killing insects for fun and that it makes him feel good, and that he has been pulling the tails of our pet cats when they won't let him stroke them.
This is NOT my son. He cries and gets upset if he squishes a spider, he gets upset if any of our aquarium fish die. He is a gentle, sensitive lad - or at least he was.
On reading the info leaflet for his medication, it says that a very rare side-effect can be psychosis and/or extreme behavioural changes. There are also rare cases of suicidal thoughts, which worried me because he started saying he wanted to "hurt" himself.
I don't have an emergency CAMHS contact, so I called NHS direct - explained to them what had happened and that I think that it's a side-effect of the meds. They advised that we go to A&E.
Went to A&E. They managed to speak with a Paediatric Psychologist (or whatever the job title is) who confirmed that it does sound very likely that it has been brought on by the tablets. They advised that we stop them immediately (I didn't know whether we could or not because some tablets have to have a gradual end)
I was also advised to ring our consultant at CAMHS today, which I have done and they haven't called back yet. To be honest, they are a bit useless - they regularly forget to send appointments when they are due, and I have to ring to remind them. (He was due an appointment in December, and when I rang they had forgotten, and had no appointments until the end of January)
My boy is at rock bottom, he is absolutely devastated that he killed his pet... I've never seen him so upset and feeling so terrible. I hurt on his behalf but I can't undo what he has done. Part of me is repulsed and disgusted with what he's done - but I know that I need to be strong to help him. This is NOT about me.
He has begged us for help, and that he feels out of control and scared he'll hurt himself or his siblings (DS2 who is 6, and DD who is 19 months). I'm scared he'll hurt himself. He's never alone with his siblings, so that is less of a worry.
I am at a complete loss. Never had to deal with anything like this before. Does anyone have any advice/experience?
We did have a social worker from the Disabled Children's Team round to do an assessment - but because DS1 doesn't have a "learning" disability they said he isn't eligible for assistance. (They did provide help for DS2 - who has a severe learning disability and Autism but they pretty much closed the file once that was done)
Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.
SN children
I need a bit of help, maybe some advice, maybe a large G&T (long post)
WhoeverHeardOfAWormskinRug · 02/01/2013 13:30
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Lol, I forgot this isn't aibu - I wouldn't dream of punishing him, that's part of the reason why he's still going to my mum's place... so that he isn't punished. It's something that he couldn't control. Poor boy. 
It was CAHMS who were the prescribing authority - I've never heard of Vyvanse, is it a stimulant? I am so new to this whole medication thing, and it's pretty daunting!
I do know that he was prescribed Strattera because I didn't think he would cope well with the up and down of the twice a day ritalin - and he would panic at the change in how he felt. He's even said that he wouldn't be able to cope with it.
I have just spoken to a nurse at CAMHS who said they are going to look into whether it was caused by drug or dosage - but to be honest I wouldn't be happy with him going on to even a reduced dosage. It's my understanding that a reduced dosage might not even work to improve the symptoms of the ADHD.
I'm aprehensive about him trying other medication to be honest... but I'm sure that is just a knee-jerk reaction to yesterday's events.
It'll be out of his system quite quickly. Methylphenidate doesn't have to be twice a day up&down. there are sustained release formulations. It sometimes does weird stuff, but it's been around over 40 years and millions of people have taken it, so the side-effects are much better understood than the new meds.
Both diagnoses mean he is emotionally much younger than his official age; so treat him like a 7 or 8 year old. Even if he says it's baby talk and he's nearly a teenager, at one level he really isn't. Tell him that it was just a terrible mistake, that you're the mummy and will keep a close eye on him till he's acting normal again. That you know he's learned his lesson and will never do it again.
And you probably need to arrange a full hamster funeral 
. Remind him that they don't live that long, so hamster mummy and daddy were probably already in hamster heaven and will be looking after his pet there. DS has the same dx (age 9) usually acts/feels around 5 or 6 y old emotionally. He's quite clever at 'talking about' stuff so we can be fooled into treating him as 9, but it usually backfires.
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