Here some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.

Fed up and rather inadequate

(13 Posts)
cansu Tue 01-Jan-13 20:14:19

I have felt rather fed up of doing the extra stuff that is needed when you have dc with SN. I then feel guilty that I haven't been making enough effort to teach dd new words or use pecs more with ds. I know I should be doing it, I just feel tired a lot and finding myself letting stuff go. There are Always so many extra things to do on top of the normal cleaning up, entertaining children and also my job which involved bringing stuff home that it sometimes seems overwhelming. Also feel depress ed that I drink and eat too much and would like to be more healthy. Maybe it's just the new year but feel bloody hopeless at the moment. Is it just me?

coff33andmintspies Tue 01-Jan-13 21:31:13

No you are not alone its January xx the hype of Christmas is over and its that month when everything all goes to pot myself included. Jan and Feb are two worst months for me I tend to slowly go bonkers with the darkness and lack of sunshine x

zzzzz Tue 01-Jan-13 22:35:19

Relax. You don't have to be bloody brilliant all the time.

The great thing about parenting is, it takes a bloody ages to grow up.

You are allowed to coast for bits and if you don't fuck up occasionally you are probably too daft to notice when you do, rather than perfect.

Your dc want you to be happy, as much as you want them to be.

Honk honk

mariammama Tue 01-Jan-13 22:47:16

Zzz, I'm going to put the 'the great thing about parenting is if takes b*** ages to grow up' on the fridge.

Cansu, sounds like they need their mum to have an early night and a cleaner much more than immediate new words/ pecs. Have to say, l my vocabulary and skill teaching efforts are more sustained successful when the pay-off makes my own life easier.

MovingOnNow Wed 02-Jan-13 08:28:15

I feel very much like this at the moment. My DS is v relaxed at home and us quite content doing his own thing for stretches of time. Which means I can sit down and relax for a bit. But there is a voice constantly nagging me that I should be pushing him and doing all these wonderful things to bring him on. The house is big to clean and we have pets too to take care of. I work from home too so the lines get blurred. If I am having a bad day I try to concentrate on bare minimum, ie clean loos and sink, kids dressed and fed, pets attended to. Anything else is a bonus! This tester I am going to try and get a bit better organised with my time, I think like my son, I may need a visual timetable lol or at least a to do list!

MovingOnNow Wed 02-Jan-13 08:29:03

This year

zzzzz Wed 02-Jan-13 12:44:19

moving what you need is to think about structuring what he is doing when he is "doing his own thing". Manipulating the environment to educate is a well recognised route to education.

Just because you're not watching him/showing him/instructing him, doesn't mean you are not educating him. I would argue that children really learn when they lead and mold their activities.

I am of course a home schooling nut though!grin

MovingOnNow Wed 02-Jan-13 12:52:40

Thanks zzzz. Tbh, I couldn't home educate, but I am coming to the conclusion that I am going to have to educate him at home, when not at school, if that makes sense. His progress is minimal and earliest we will have statement is April. He is ASD I think, waiting for diagnosis, but I remain convinced that his lack of language comprehension lies at the route of most probs, ie if we work on that, it will unlock the key to resolving other probs. Any tips you have will be much appreciated :-)

Ineedmorepatience Wed 02-Jan-13 13:01:13

zzzzI just read your post from yesterday and it made me laugh, now everyone in the soft play place knows I am a wierdo. Lol grin

You are so right though!

cansu, I often feel like you in term time when there doesnt seem to be enough hours in the day to get everything done.

Sometimed I feel bad that Dd3 spends too much time watching tv while I try to keep up with the other stuff. Including work that I bring home but then I force myself to think of all the stuff I do do with her.

I have ben parenting for 24 yrs now and I have done some really crap parenting at times but I think that the majority of the time I am doing my best and that is
all I can ask of myself.

Try to be kind to yourself and get a break when you can.

Good luck for 2013 smile

zzzzz Wed 02-Jan-13 13:21:18

Ds is 7 now and language was his biggest problem. There are millions of things you can do to help. Time helps too. Language is still of course a huge issue but now I am trying to fill in the years of background knowledge he has missed.
How old is ds? I'd pick and issue and just work on that. Mostly I find we start with one thing and need to do something else first and then. Side issue comes up and taaahhhhdahhhh a syllabus is born.

I am a Montessori fan, as it is very easy to read about, utube, and makes sense. I like the way she starts from how to wipe your nose and goes all the way tp Pythagoras. grin. I also like the way everything is learnt with activities, which suits my lackadaisical nature. I can't plan five activities, give then to ds over a fe days or a week, tick them off and progress. If I don have time we do it the next week instead.

zzzzz Wed 02-Jan-13 13:22:40

Ineed I am a weirdo! You are a saint for being at soft play anyway....I hope you have coffee.

cansu Wed 02-Jan-13 16:18:34

Thanks I love the idea that it takes so long to grow up I can afford to be a bit shit for a while!

Ineedmorepatience Wed 02-Jan-13 17:51:47

grin @ that zzzzz,

Not a saint at all, I just can't manage Dd3 and DGD in the house at the same time.

Dd1 and Dd2 have gone climbing so I got voluteered hmm.

Actually it wasnt too bad, I had tea and was MNing, I was really clever and turned my mobile into a wifi hotspot so that I could MN on my tablet!!!

Get me huh grin

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